Feelings for Ian...even deeper

[ska_is_alive]

What would you say if I told you that I loved you? Would you say that I'm too foolish? Would you say that I'm too young and naive to understand what love is? To even understand what my feelings are for you? I would die for you in a heart beat. No questions asked. I know I would and I would never doubt that in a million years. Yes, there are other guys out that I think are cute and would date, but never would I say I love you to them. Never would I die for them. Not like I would for you. I would give you anything you asked for. I would do anything for you. I don't think you could even begin to realize how badly I need you. How badly I want to be with you. It's absolutely heart breaking for me when you walk away. So far I've cried every time you had to leave. Not that you would ever see those tears I shed for you. It seems as if time goes by too fast when I'm with you. It goes by in a blink of an eye. I don't care though, because it's enough just to be with you. It took me a while to realize that I loved you. That I care that deeply for you. It hurts knowing that my chances with you are probably little. They're chances none the less though. Chances I take in with all my heart. I want to tell you more than anything how I feel about you. My love for you that probably no other girl could give to you. Alas I don't. In fear of one thing: REJECTION. I can't loose you. I couldn't bear it if you walked out of my life forever. I don't know what I'd do without you in my life at all. I'd break down, that much is for sure. I don't think I'd be able to hide it from anyone. I'd probably be extremely depressed as well. If some how I could just overcome my fear and tell you what I feel about you, maybe I would be okay. Maybe my life wouldn't feel so incomplete. I want to tell you, but I don't know how. And I don't know when. I'm not good with confrontations, that much is for sure. I guess I need some help on this if I'm actually going to tell him that I love him.\

Ian...I love you more than anyone else in this whole universe. I just wish you could know that.