Work For Happiness, Smile Together And Refuse The Unspeaking
i keep getting bruised up, physically and emotionally, mentally even. i know sounds crazy, right? the other day i fell off of a short-long-board-skateboard ... that is to say its "trucks" are loose and it turns easily and it is shorter than a normal sized skate board, but a bad thing to go down a steep hill on, especially if you dont normally skateboard, and i dont. and i fucking ate pavement. i was with greg and he was very fatherly about the whole thing. i started to ask him if i was was bleeding but stopped when blood was flowing over my eyes, he got me to his house and bandaged me all up, got the gravel out of my wounds and all. he was very helpful. although i think i have a minor concussion, not a major one i guess because i didn't die in my sleep, but ya know; the shakes, poor balance, dizzies, ringing in my ear. should go away in a bit.
im still in alot of pain right now. it hurts to raise my eyebrow and to move my wrist and elbow.. looks like this
sorry.. hope you weren't eating... (haha what?)
yeah besides that i've been going to su tao, hangin out with some nice folks, working, went to that show that most of my livejournal friends went to and know about anyway.
the fall kinda sucks because its a road block in my practicing before josh's show and training to be a goalie. but i did get a nice new pair of skates that were on sale.. look at me writing about things that have happened like a regular livejournalist, how perfectly decedent!
also finished some art that again most you will have seen on facebook so i'll only do one.
so things haven't been going too bad, i hit a real low point yesterday, plans got broken off i did some stupid shit, but at least it feels like 3 steps forward 1 or 2 step back in stead of visa versa, so thats good right? but im still having trouble dealing with a lot, besides that it's always a kick in the heart when i tidy up my room and find one thing or another i had forgotten about. i feel like im still arguing with myself about certain stuff too much. but im trying. dont be afraid of the dreams we make.
ok one more
it got cut off
feeling left out alot, it sucks, not when im busy, but when i have time to sit and think. and when people go out having fun and leave you out of it, just because. for no real reason. at least not that you know of. i hate being lonely i do stupid things when im alone maybe i should take it more like a test. to not fight with myself when im alone. probably not. its still hard keeping a balance between open and closed doors. i don't want to revert back. damn. i guess i should go food shopping. this is me
1
im still in alot of pain right now. it hurts to raise my eyebrow and to move my wrist and elbow.. looks like this
sorry.. hope you weren't eating... (haha what?)
yeah besides that i've been going to su tao, hangin out with some nice folks, working, went to that show that most of my livejournal friends went to and know about anyway.
the fall kinda sucks because its a road block in my practicing before josh's show and training to be a goalie. but i did get a nice new pair of skates that were on sale.. look at me writing about things that have happened like a regular livejournalist, how perfectly decedent!
also finished some art that again most you will have seen on facebook so i'll only do one.
so things haven't been going too bad, i hit a real low point yesterday, plans got broken off i did some stupid shit, but at least it feels like 3 steps forward 1 or 2 step back in stead of visa versa, so thats good right? but im still having trouble dealing with a lot, besides that it's always a kick in the heart when i tidy up my room and find one thing or another i had forgotten about. i feel like im still arguing with myself about certain stuff too much. but im trying. dont be afraid of the dreams we make.
ok one more
it got cut off
feeling left out alot, it sucks, not when im busy, but when i have time to sit and think. and when people go out having fun and leave you out of it, just because. for no real reason. at least not that you know of. i hate being lonely i do stupid things when im alone maybe i should take it more like a test. to not fight with myself when im alone. probably not. its still hard keeping a balance between open and closed doors. i don't want to revert back. damn. i guess i should go food shopping. this is me
1