(no subject)
So, it's been quite a long while since I abandoned you, dear Live Journal. Though, come to think of it, I didn't technically abandon you. I just gave up for a short while. It's sad to admit it, but I just don't have time for you anymore. Not lately. I should make time for you, it's true. There's something freeing about writing, well, freely. I never write freely anymore. Whenever I write, I'm either worried about what people will think of it, or rushing to meet the deadline for school.
Oh, how I miss you and all of the memories and all of the people that you carry within the pages of my archive. I know, I know. It's not good to live in the past. I've heard it a thousand times. Believe me, I know that by now. But yet, I can't break away from it. The future doesn't seem as bright as it once was and the present is even worse. But the past... The past is like my own little world that I can fall back on whenever the time is right. Whenever I need to remember. Whenever I need to feel alive again.
Whenever I need to feel that there's a reason to stay alive, despite life's present state.
I know that there are better things to come... Or am I just being too optimistic? Maybe there aren't. What if all of my dreams were just that...dreams...something that never comes true, as hard as you try...something that disappears when you wake up, but you close your eyes with all your might just in hopes that you might grasp the last few seconds of bliss, and prolong reality for just a little bit longer. Is that all the future is? Is the best really yet to come? Or is it all just a dream, a fantasy? A lie?
Well, that was fun, now that I've depressed myself even more. I must be going now. Back to work. Two discussions are due tonight and I haven't even attempted them yet. I'm trying so hard not to give up.
In more ways than one.
Oh, how I miss you and all of the memories and all of the people that you carry within the pages of my archive. I know, I know. It's not good to live in the past. I've heard it a thousand times. Believe me, I know that by now. But yet, I can't break away from it. The future doesn't seem as bright as it once was and the present is even worse. But the past... The past is like my own little world that I can fall back on whenever the time is right. Whenever I need to remember. Whenever I need to feel alive again.
Whenever I need to feel that there's a reason to stay alive, despite life's present state.
I know that there are better things to come... Or am I just being too optimistic? Maybe there aren't. What if all of my dreams were just that...dreams...something that never comes true, as hard as you try...something that disappears when you wake up, but you close your eyes with all your might just in hopes that you might grasp the last few seconds of bliss, and prolong reality for just a little bit longer. Is that all the future is? Is the best really yet to come? Or is it all just a dream, a fantasy? A lie?
Well, that was fun, now that I've depressed myself even more. I must be going now. Back to work. Two discussions are due tonight and I haven't even attempted them yet. I'm trying so hard not to give up.
In more ways than one.