Meant to be 21/? (SG-1 femslash Sam/Janet)
"Why would you want to change your vacation?" Janet asked Sharon.
"It starts Wednesday," Sharon said.
"So?" Janet asked.
"I want to be here for you. And Sam. In case you need me. The sarcophagus," she said pointedly. "On Thursday."
"No way," Janet said. "You are not missing your vacation. We'll be fine. Both of us," she said firmly. "Teal'c has told us what to expect in the way of side-effects, withdrawal and all that. It's not dangerous, Sharon," she said. "And you need your vacation. But thank you," she smiled. "You are so kind. We'll give you a call when it's all over, let you know how it went. But no, I won't sanction a change at this late stage," she grinned.
"Control freak," Sharon muttered, laughter in her voice. "I'm real excited for you both," she said warmly. "I know Sam hates it, not being able to do what she wants."
"She sure does," Janet said. "Though she tries so hard not to show it. Keeps telling me that she's happy, as long as Cassie and I are okay. Says that's all that matters."
"Your family," Sharon mused. "God, Janet. Think back to how things were two years ago. You had only just left him. Now you have a whole new family."
"He's still trying to control us from the grave," Janet shivered at the remembrance of the money David Richmond had left to her in his will.
"Well he's not succeeding," Sharon pointed out. "You gave his money away. And in a few days Sam's injuries will be healed."
"Yeah," Janet brightened at the thought. "So," she changed the subject. "Are you going away somewhere? On your vacation?"
"We're taking the kids camping for a few days," Sharon said. "And after that....," she smiled shyly, "we're gonna.... that is, we've booked to... we were talking, Cora and I. And she's 37 next birthday. And we both wanna have more kids," she grinned, knowing she was rambling.
Janet smiled widely, guessing what was coming next. "And?" she demanded excitedly.
"We're gonna try for another baby," Sharon couldn't keep the excitement out of her voice. "So we've got appointments booked with the clinic. We decided that 'cos Cora's nearly six years older than I am that she should have the next one."
"The next one?" Janet laughed. "Just how many kids are you planning on?"
"We want at least four," Sharon said. "We're both only children, and we hate that. We want a big family. I'm sorry, Janet, I know I'm being insensitive," she didn't want to remind Janet that she couldn't have children herself.
"Don't talk crazy!" Janet flung her arms round her friend, hugging her tight. "I think that's wonderful. "You're such great parents. Both of you. I'm so happy for you. Can I tell Sam?"
"She already did," Sam walked into the living room, having retrieved a bag from the garage. "While you were making coffee. I think it's just great," she smiled. "Here," she passed the bag to Sharon. "Camping stove, pots, utensils, the lot. And you can tell Mikey from me that if he goes anywhere near that stove when it's hot, I'll have him court-martialed!" she winked.
"Thanks, Sam," Sharon smiled back. "He'll behave now he's been told to by 'Captain Sam'! I swear," she looked over at Janet, "if Sam told him to wrestle with an alligator, he'd do it. And he'd believe he'd be okay. He thinks you know everything, Sam," she said.
"Told you that kid's smart," Sam grinned. "Hear that Jan? I'm omniscient!"
"Whatever you say, hon," Janet replied mildly. "Tell me, though, does your expertise stretch to risotto? Because I could do with some help in the kitchen tonight...," she grinned evilly as Sam tried to swat her.
= = =
"Is this really necessary?" Sam was getting a little testy.
"I think it's worth doing," Janet said, keeping her voice even. She knew that Sam was concerned, and that her worry was making her antsy. "I just think, if you do get paranoid, you can watch the recording. And if you see you telling you that it's all okay, you're gonna be more likely to believe it."
Sam looked doubtful.
"For me?" Janet decided to play dirty. "I want to be able to help you, baby, if you go through withdrawal. In any way I can. But you might not believe me if it's bad. You're more likely to believe you."
"I'll always believe you," Sam's voice was tender and loving. "I'm sorry, baby. This is happening to you too, I do know that. I just feel kinda dumb. Sitting in here, in front of a camera, telling myself what we're doing. But there are worse things than looking dumb, I know," she smiled. "Okay, here goes nothin'," she switched on the camera.
"Hi there!" she said to the camera lens. "This is a message for... well, me, I guess."
Fifteen minutes, Janet switched the camera off. "Well, that wasn't so bad, was it?" she kissed Sam softly. "Thank you, sweetie," she said. "I'm so pleased you did that. D'you think you could load it on to your laptop now? And password it too, huh? And don't tell anyone the password, not even me. You'll find it easier to believe if you know I haven't been able to touch the file."
"I still can't imagine not being able to trust you," Sam sounded doubtful. "I trust you with my life, Jan."
"I'll always love you honey," Janet reminded her. "Remember that. Always remember."
= = =
"Oh please, not a gown?" Sam protested. "C'mon, Jan, why do I have to show my butt to everybody? Just how is that going to help?"
"You've got scrubs pants too, honey," Janet said. "You don't have to show your butt to anyone. Except maybe me later," she smiled. "If you want to, that is. It's better that you aren't wearing your uniform for this, hon. I want to be able to give you an MRI after each session, so's we can determine just how well it's working. I know, baby, you hate dressing like a patient. But if this works... when this works, you won't have to be a patient any more."
Sam opened her mouth to protest further, and shut it again. "I'm sorry," she said. "I'm being a bitch to everybody this morning. It's just... this is huge, isn't it, Jan? What if it doesn't work? What if the side effects change my personality? I couldn't bear it if I hurt you, honey," she took a deep, steadying breath. "I'm scared, Janet," she said in a small voice, hating to admit her weakness.
"Of course you're scared, sweetie," Janet's voice was tender. "So am I. But you're gonna be fine. We both are. And I swear, if the side effects make you say things you don't mean, I won't take it personally. In a few days, you'll be right back to your old self. I just need you to trust me for the next little while, can you do that, hon?" she peered anxiously into Sam's limpid eyes.
Sam nodded.
"Okay, then, let's get you changed," Janet started to unbutton Sam's shirt.
Sam put a gentle restraining hand over Janet's. "You won't leave me alone?" her voice was small and frightened. "You swear?"
"I'll be there every minute," Janet promised.
= = =
"You go, Carter," O'Neill gave his 2IC a warm hug as she stepped through the door to the private room of the infirmary, where the sarcophagus was temporarily housed.
"Thank you, Sir," Sam's tried to make her voice strong and confident. Only Janet knew how she was really feeling."
= = =
Janet was peering down as the lid to the sarcophagus slid open after the first sesssion. She smiled as she saw Sam's grinning face. "Hey, honey, how are you doin'?"
"Great," Sam replied, as she climbed out easily. "Really great."
"Well let's take a look at you," Janet pointed to the bed just next to the sarcophagus.
Nearly an hour later, Janet had established that Sam's lungs were now seemingly completely healed, and that there had been huge progress on her injured leg. "This is incredible," she called to Sam, who came and looked over her shoulder at the computer screen. "See here?" she pointed. "It's almost like the pins and plates in your leg are becoming part of the bone."
"It feels so much better," Sam flexed the limb enthusiastically.
"You ready for another session?" Janet asked Sam. "It looks to me like it's working great. It seems a shame to stop before it's all fixed."
"Lead on!" Sam's eyes twinkled mischievously.
"You're okay, though, right?" Janet queried. "Not feeling wasted or anything?"
Sam shook her head. "Never felt better," she said smugly. "No side-effects."
"That may be a side-effect in itself," Janet warned. "But all your vitals are stable."
In the event, Sam went into the sarcophagus a total of four times.
"You up for a short debrief?" O'Neill asked Janet after Sam had emerged from the MRI scanner for the fourth time. "Both of you?"
"Five minutes?" Janet asked. "I just want to check a few things."
O'Neill nodded.
Janet led Sam to the bed again, and checked her pulse and blood pressure. "So," she said quietly to Sam. "Do you think you're okay to debrief? You're feeling okay."
"I feel on top of the world," Sam replied, standing up and taking Janet in her arms, kissing her passionately. "I can't remember when I felt this good. Come to think of it," she grinned as she let her hand wander over Janet's torso. "I don't remember when you felt this good," she kissed her again.
"Sam!" Janet scolded. "I know you're kind of wound-up. But not until we get to our quarters, huh?"
Sam pouted comically. "Yes, doc," she saluted, trying to keep the smile off her face.
"Okay, then," Janet replied. "Let's get to the briefing room. And Sam," she had noticed her lover staring.
"Yeah?" Sam replied.
"You gotta stop staring at my boobs," Janet grinned. "You're not being very subtle."
Sam snorted with laughter. "Oh God," she said, her voice cracking with mirth. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was doing that. I was though, huh?" she mused.
"You were," Janet tried to sound stern.
"I think I've discovered a new side-effect," Sam smiled. "I don't think I've ever felt quite so... libidinous!" she laughed at the use of the word. Ever since Janet had used it to describe the men on the base when Hathor visited, the word had become something of a running joke between the two of them.
"Well you have to control yourself for just a bit longer," Janet told her. "Remember, sweetie, there are cameras almost everywhere."
"Not in our quarters though," Sam said.
"No," Janet agreed with a smile. "Not there."
= = =
"It's like a miracle," Janet handed the scans to General Hammond. "There's no sign of the original injury. Or, amazingly, even of the plates and screws that were put in. It's as if Sam's body has reabsorbed them."
"And how are you feeling Captain Carter?" Hammond asked.
"I feel great, Sir," Sam replied. "Truly. My leg doesn't hurt at all. And my lungs are real good. I don't have to worry any more when I take a deep breath."
General Hammond smiled widely. "Well, it looks like we have a full-scale success. Captain, I understand that there's a good chance of side-effects as you withdraw from the effects of the sarcophagus, isn't that right Dr Fraiser?"
"Yes, Sir," Janet replied. "Teal'c has given me as much information as he can. I believe we can expect Sam to experience agitation, paranoia, sweats, chills and possibly nausea. Each case is different, Teal'c says. And Sam, I mean Captain Carter, has had concentrated exposure to the effects of the sarcophagus. I recommend that she be confined to her quarters for the next few days at least, and that I stay with her to ensure her safety. I also believe guards should be posted outside the door. Just in case," she saw the look of shock on Sam's face.
Sam looked as though she was about to object, but then she nodded. "I'll do whatever Janet recommends," she said. "For as long as she deems necessary."
General Hammond smiled. "It's good to see you looking so well, Captain," he said. "Let's just hope the next few days go well for you. Colonel," he addressed O'Neill. "Will you arrange for the return of the sarcophagus?"
"Already in hand, Sir," O'Neill smiled.
= = =
"Sam!" Janet hissed as they left the briefing room. "Eyes north!"
Sam tried not to smirk as she schooled her expression to neutral. "Sorry," she whispered.
= = =
Janet opened the door to their quarters and held it open as Sam walked through. "Only take orders from me, until I tell you otherwise," she told the airmen at the door.
She followed Sam inside, shutting the door behind her.
As she heard the door click shut, Sam turned to face her lover, a wide smile on her face. "Hey," she whispered softly to Janet, approaching her and cupping her face between both hands. "Hey beautiful," she kissed her tenderly on the mouth. "Oh God, Janet. It was so weird. In the sarcophagus. I was only half-awake. But all I could think about was you. I kept seeing your face. I've never seen anything... anyone... nothing... ever... as beautiful as you. I love you so much, Janet." She kissed her again, slowly, delicately, savoring every second of the sensation.
"I love you too, Sam," Janet was slightly breathless. "Are you feeling okay, baby?"
"Don't fuss," Sam said. "I feel fantastic. I want to show you how great I feel," for the first time since her accident, Sam lifted Janet in her arms and carried her over to the bed, laying her down carefully. "Can I make love to you Jan?" she asked.
"I think I'll explode if you don't," Janet's voice cracked. She reached up, and pulled Sam's gown over her head, throwing it to the floor. "Hey," she whispered, as she traced Sam's abdomen. "It's gone. That small scar you had. Your skin is flawless."
Sam grinned, and reached out for Janet's hand, pulling it to her own breast. Both of them gasped as they could both feel Sam's nipple pucker at Janet's touch. "You're all ready for me, baby," Janet whispered. She took her other hand and hooked it under the waistband of Sam's scrubs pants, pulling them down to her knees. Sam smiled, and kicked them onto the floor.
Sam reached out impatiently to help Janet out of her uniform shirt, fumbling impatiently with her tie. Eventually she managed to undo all the buttons and pulled the shirt out of Janet's waistband, sliding it down her arms. She saw that Janet was wearing her favorite cream lacy bra.
Janet saw the expression on Sam's face. "You can look now, baby," she smiled, "there's nobody watching now," and she reached to the back of her and unclasped her bra.
Sam kissed Janet again, working her way down her long neck. She pulled back slightly, and traced her fingers across the small scar that had been left when Janet was shot during Hathor's invasion. "Does this hurt, baby?" she asked her gently.
"Not a bit," Janet told her.
"Hey," Sam had a sudden thought. "You should try the sarcophagus. That'd get rid of that scar right off. And you'd enjoy it too, honey. It's the most incredible feeling. That's such a good idea," she became more animated. "Where's the phone? I wanna call the colonel. They may not have sent it back yet."
"Whoa," Janet took her hand. "Let's not get over-excited about this. That's not what the sarcophagus is for, is it Sam?" she kept her voice even.
"What do you mean?" Sam became more strident. "That's exactly the sort of thing that we could fix in the sarcophagus in seconds. I should talk to the colonel. Hey," her thoughts became more feverish. "Maybe we should be thinking about not returning it at all? I mean, can you imagine the good you could do with that thing, just here, in your infirmary? You know, I don't think General Hammond has really thought this thing through."
"Sam!" Janet's tone was harsh. "Stop it. The sarcophagus was just on loan. And they only got it because you are SO important to the program. To everybody here. There's never been any suggestion that we could use it for anything else. Certainly not to satisfy my vanity. You're just a little hyper, baby," Janet tried to temper her words with a loving smile. "And no wonder, you were in there four times."
Sam pulled back harshly, as though she had been slapped. "Oh my God," she whispered. "I'm stoned. Aren't I Janet?" tears formed in her eyes. "I'm high."
"Maybe just a little, sweetie," Janet took her hand.
"Oh God," Sam started to panic. "Did I hurt you? Was I too eager? Did I frighten you?"
"Sam!" Janet was firm. "Relax. Truly. We're both fine. Of course you didn't hurt me baby," her voice softened. "You have never hurt me. You never will. Not ever. And I will never, ever, ever be scared of you. Not for one moment. You aren't capable of hurting me. I love you honey. You just got a little bit carried away, that's all. You didn't do anything bad."
Sam nodded, miserably. "I'm sorry," she whispered.
"For what?" Janet demanded. "For loving me? You don't have anything to be sorry for, Sam. Nothing. Now," she smiled. "Where were we?" she grinned.
"You're kidding?" Sam's voice was scared. "You still want to make love?"
"More than anything," Janet reached up to cup Sam's breast again. "Please?"
= = =
They made love for hours; it was well after 2am when Janet snuggled into Sam's arms and closed her eyes. "Sleep, now, honey," she said sleepily.
= = =
Three hours later, Janet turned over in the bed, surprised to feel it empty. She looked round the room and saw no sign of Sam. "Sam?" she called. "Sam?" quickly she got out of bed, panic starting to rise in her. She then spotted the light under the door of the bathroom. She tapped quietly on the door and opened it, to the sight of Sam in the middle of the floor, frantically doing sit-ups. "Sam?" she asked. "What are you doing honey?"
Sam finally noticed her, and looked over and smiled sheepishly. "I'm sorry, Jan, did I wake you?" she asked, sweat pouring down her face and chest. "I just couldn't sleep. I feel like I need to go for a run, I've got all this energy I can't get rid of. I thought if I came in here, it wouldn't disturb you."
"You didn't disturb me," Janet knelt at her level, and tucked a damp strand of hair behind Sam's ear. "I just wanted to check you were okay. Are you okay?" she peered at her anxiously.
"Yeah," Sam replied. "I feel a little jumpy, but I'm fine. Better now I've had some exercise." She ran her finger down Janet's cheek, and kissed her softly. She laughed. "I should shower," she grinned. "I'm all sweaty."
"Want some company?" Janet asked seductively.
"Oh God, more than anything," Sam replied.
= = =
Sam's appetite for Janet remained insatiable for the next three days. "Are you sure this is okay?" Sam asked Janet, over and over. "I know I'm not leaving you alone."
"This is great," Janet reassured her constantly. "When have we had the chance to spend this much time together? Really together? We should do this more often."
Janet slept more than Sam, who remained almost manically full of energy.
On the morning of the fourth day, though, Janet was surprised to wake up next to a sleeping Sam. She made sure not to move, not wanting to wake her lover. After a few minutes, though, Sam stirred.
"Hey," Janet said softly. "Good morning."
Sam blinked. "Jan?" her voice was hoarse.
"It's me," Janet replied, concerned by Sam's groggy demeanor. "How are you feeling sweetie?"
"Tired," Sam replied. "I feel kinda sick," she shut her eyes and burrowed back into the pillow.
Janet sat up, and pressed her fingers to Sam's pulse point. She could feel Sam's heart racing under her fingers. "I just want to check a few things with you, Sam. Is that okay?" she kept her voice soft and unthreatening.
"Okay," Sam muttered into the pillow.
Janet got out of bed and collected her bag from the other side of the room. "Okay, then, honey," she stroked Sam's head lovingly. "Think you can roll on to your back for me?"
Grumpily Sam rolled over, keeping one hand on her face, shielding her eyes. "Too bright for you?" Janet asked. "You got a headache?"
Sam nodded.
"That's okay, honey, I'll give you something for that once I've checked everything else." Efficiently, she took Sam's blood pressure and her temperature. She then took a blood sample and went to the door. "It's me, Fraiser," she called, knocking on the door. The door opened. Janet handed the sample to the airman standing there. "See that this gets to the infirmary, would you?" she asked. "Give it to Dr Michaels."
"Yes, ma'am," the airman replied.
"Well, honey, you're doin' okay," Janet said gently to her lover, taking a damp washcloth and laying it across Sam's eyes. "Your blood pressure and heart rate are up a bit, but this is no more than we expected. I'm just going to give you an injection, it should help ease your headache and help you to sleep, okay Sam?"
Sam nodded again. "'kay," she said.
Janet gave her a hefty dose of sedative and painkiller, and lay down next to her, taking her in her arms as she fell back to sleep.
= = =
Sam slept fitfully for the next 18 hours, sometimes whimpering in her sleep. Janet was able to soothe her back to sleep when she cried out.
"Her systems are all out of whack," Frankie Michaels told Janet on the phone as Sam slept. "Her serotonin levels are especially low. Nothing dangerous. I want to see a sample every six hours from now on Janet, okay?"
"I'll do what I can," Janet said. "I don't want to wake her, I'll take a sample next time she wakes, okay?"
= = =
Sam sat up with a start, a look of blind panic on her face, her hands clutching desperately at the blankets.
"Sam," Janet cupped her face as her lover tried to get her breathing under control. "It's okay, honey."
"Where am I?" Sam looked so frightened that it broke Janet's heart.
"You're with me, Sam. In our quarters. You've been in the sarcophagus, remember?" Janet's voice was soft and loving. "I think you're starting to feel the effects of the withdrawal now. We were expecting this. It won't last long, honey."
"'kay," Sam whispered. "Stay with me?" she looked pleadingly up at Janet.
"Okay," Janet kicked off her shoes and climbed onto the bed, taking Sam in her arms and holding her tight. "You're shaking, baby," she said to her.
"Cold," Sam's voice was almost inaudible. "Real cold."
Janet tucked the blankets round Sam, and tightened her hold on her. "It won't last long," she reiterated. "I'll take care of you baby."
= = =
When Janet next woke, Sam was again missing from the bed. She heard the sound of the shower running in the bathroom.
"Sam?" Janet went into the bathroom. Her lover was in the shower stall, the water pounding over her. Getting no answer, Janet opened the door to the stall, and gingerly laid a hand on Sam's arm. She realized that the water was freezing cold.
Sam turned to face Janet, her face as white as a sheet.
Janet reached over and turned off the water. She took a towel and went into the stall, wrapping it round Sam. "Sam?" she said again quietly. "What are you doing baby? You're freezing."
"Need to cool down," Sam's words sounded desperate. "I'm so hot Jan," she tried to shrug off the towel and reached for the faucet.
Gently Janet put her hand over Sam's. "No, honey," she said lovingly. "That won't help. Come with me, baby. We'll get you back into bed. I'll keep you cool there, I swear. Maybe give you something to help you sleep?"
Sam stumbled and put her hand out to steady herself. She found herself supported by Janet. "Come on Sam," Janet said quietly. "You just come with me, huh?"
Janet led her back to the bed, pulling a nightshirt over her head as she lay her down on the mattress. She took a damp washcloth and ran it over Sam's face. Swiftly she took another blood test, and then gave Sam another sedative. "It's all perfectly normal, Sam," she whispered reassuringly. "It'll be over soon. Then I can take you home with me."
Sam slept for 24 hours straight, barely moving. When she finally awoke, Janet was at her side. Sam pulled away from her, flinching as Janet reached out to touch her. "What's happening?" she demanded harshly.
"It's okay, Sam," Janet was gentle. "You've been asleep for a whole day. You're likely a bit disoriented. And hungry, I'll bet," she tried to smile.
Sam paled. "Not hungry. Feel sick," she said. A look of panic flitted across her face. "My God!" she realized. "That's why I feel sick. They're poisoning me. You. You're all in this together. Are you a Goa'uld? You look like her, but you're not. Leave me alone. Get away from me," her voice rose. "I won't tell you anything," she was shouting now. "Nothing. You won't get anything from me." She backed up into the far corner of the bed.
There was a knock on the door. "Are you okay, ma'am?" an airman's voice called.
Janet went to the door and knocked, "it's me, Fraiser," she said quietly. The door opened. "We're fine," she told the airman. "I'll call you if we need you."
She picked up Sam's laptop from the table, and took it over to the bed, leaving it on the edge, far from Sam. She stepped back, and moved to the small table at the other side of the room.
"It's your laptop, Sam," she kept her voice measured and calm. "You put a file on there, remember? To remind you what's happening here. You passworded it too. None of us know what the password is. You might want to look at it. It could help you."
Sam's face remained stony. "Leave the room," she demanded.
"Okay, Sam," Janet said quietly. "I'll give you ten minutes. And then I'm coming back. And I'll be unarmed. So I'm asking you, baby, not to hurt me when I come back in. I'm really me, Sam. Janet. I love you. Always remember."
Sam gave her a quizzical look. "Remember?" she murmured. "Always remember." She nodded.
= = =
Ten minutes later, Janet nodded to the airman. "Are you sure about this?" Michaels asked Janet. She had come down from the infirmary, and was standing outside the door with Janet.
"Totally," Janet said firmly. "You can listen from outside. She won't hurt me. Even if she has the slightest inkling that I could really be me, she won't take the risk of hurting me. I know her, Frankie. Better than I know myself."
She stepped through the door, and saw Sam, still sitting on the bed. Sam looked up, tears coursing down her face. She ran to Janet, and flung her arms round her. "I'm sorry," she said. "I love you Janet."
"And I love you too, Sam," Janet kissed her lovingly on the forehead. "Always. Will you let me take care of you? Jus' for a few more days?"
Sam nodded. Janet took her hand, and led her back to the bed. "Okay if I move this?" Janet gestured to the laptop. Sam nodded again. "Lie down, honey," Janet told her. "Let's do this together, huh?"
"'kay," Sam whispered.
= = =
"Carter!" O'Neill boomed a week later, as Janet showed him into the living room at their house. "You look great."
"I feel great, Sir," Sam smiled. "And it's wonderful to be home at last," she said. "I can't wait for Cassie to come home from school."
"She stayed with her grandmother, right?" O'Neill asked.
"Yeah," Janet agreed. "Cassie loves Ella. Ella's just left in fact, brought us this," she pointed to a large basket of fruit on the table. "Can I get you a coffee Sir?" she asked. "We're just about to have one."
"That'd be great," O'Neill replied.
"What can we do for you Sir?" Sam asked, gesturing from him to sit down.
O'Neill eased himself into the overstuffed armchair. "Nothin' really, just wanted to see how you are Carter. And also to let you know that SG-1's shipping out to P3R-921 next Wednesday. Makin' sure you're ready for that."
Sam beamed. "Oh yes, Sir," she said. "Ready, willing and able."
O'Neill grinned in return. "The team's back together," he said.