Meant to Be (14/?) Sam/Janet femslash
Sam drifted in and out of consciousness, as Janet held her in her arms. Her breathing seemed worse if anything, and her fever continued to rise. "102.9," Janet whispered to Sharon, who had insisted on staying with her two friends. "She's getting worse."
"It's only three hours since the operation," Sharon said gently. "Her body has to get over that trauma."
"It's pneumonia now," Janet kept her voice as small as possible, not wanting to disturb Sam.
"I know," Sharon's voice was equally quiet. "Want me to get the cart?"
Janet looked fearful at the suggestion. She hated the idea that they might have to intubate Sam. But better to have everything ready, at hand, just in case. She nodded miserably. "Yeah," she said.
Sharon put a warm hand on her shoulder. "It doesn't mean we have to use it," she reminded her.
"I know," Janet said, angrily wiping at a tear that had escaped.
Over the next three hours, Sam's condition continued to deteriorate. She woke almost every half hour, usually disoriented, sometimes acutely nauseous, always frightened. Only Janet's touch as she gentled her cheek, or wiped her face, or held her as the nausea overwhelmed her, seemed to get through to her at all. Janet never once let her touch leave her lover, and spoke softly, soothingly, lovingly, trying to reassure Sam that this would all soon be over. She sat at the head of Sam's bed, which allowed her to cradle her gently, one of her hands intertwined with one of Sam's.
Janet looked up when she heard a soft tap at the door, and saw Daniel's anxious face peering through the glass window.
"I'll go," Sharon was already on her feet.
Janet nodded, gratefully, turning her attention back to Sam, who was semi-conscious, sweat pouring off her as chills shook her battered body.
In a few minutes, Sharon was back at her side. "It's Cassie," she whispered, trying to keep her voice even. "No, it's okay," she said, as she saw the look of alarm on Janet's face. "She's alright. Truly. She had a nightmare is all. Ella is with her. Daniel just wanted you to know."
Janet looked down at Sam, her heart torn in two. Sam swallowed, and licked her dry lips. "Go," she croaked, her voice barely audible through the oxygen mask. "Needs you." She started to cough again at the effort of speaking.
"Shh," Janet said, "don't try to speak baby. It's okay," she rubbed her back lovingly and tightened her grip on her as she rode out the panic. Finally the fit passed, and Sam rolled back once more into Janet's embrace.
Sam squeezed Janet's fingers. "Please," she gasped.
"You want me to go?" Janet asked.
Sam nodded almost imperceptibly.
"Okay, baby," Janet kissed her lovingly on the forehead. "I'll be right back, I swear. Sharon'll be with you the whole time. Frankie too," Janet referred to Dr Francine Michaels, as she pressed the buzzer by the bed. In under 30 seconds, Michaels was at her side. "I'm just gonna head out, see Cass," Janet explained, as she extricated herself and watched as Sharon gathered Sam in her arms, holding her carefully. "I'll be back in a few minutes. Can you stay?" she asked her.
"Of course," Francine Michaels answered. "We'll all be fine."
"I'll be real quick," Janet said, her heart breaking at having to leave Sam, if only for a few minutes.
= = =
Janet knocked at the door of the VIP suite, and let herself in. She saw Ella sitting on Cassie's bed, the child nestled on her lap. Ella was rocking her lovingly, and whispering soothing words.
Janet approached the bed, putting a warm hand on Ella's arm in response to her welcoming smile. "Hey," she said softly, running her hand through Cassie's hair. "Daniel tells me you're having a tough time."
Cassie looked up and saw her mother, tears filling her eyes with emotion. She flung herself at her mother. "Mom!" she cried, and started to sob again.
"Shh," Janet said. "It's okay, Cassie. It's okay. It's all gonna be okay."
"Cassandra had a nightmare," Ella explained. "But it's all over now, isn't it Cassie?"
Cassie nodded, her sobs slowing. Eventually they stopped, to be replaced by hiccups. "I'm sorry, Mom," she said.
"You don't have to be sorry," Janet said. "Nightmares are awful. Do you want to tell me about it?"
Cassie looked up at her mother. "It was horrible," she said. "I dreamt that it was like Hanka. You all died. Sam. You. Grandma. I was left on my own. But this time, nobody came to rescue me. I was all alone," she started to cry again.
"Oh Cass, that's a terrible nightmare. It didn't happen, though, honey. I swear," she cupped Cassie's chin, and pulled her face upwards so she was facing her. "Look at me, sweetie. I'm fine. And I'm not going anywhere. Your Grandma's here too. We're all gonna be fine."
"Sam's real sick though, isn't she Mom?" Cassie's voice was fearful.
Janet looked at her daughter, and decided that it was best to tell her the truth. She pulled her to her and held her tight. "She is, honey, she is," she said quietly. "But we're doing everything we can, I swear. They fixed her leg," she tried to sound cheerful. "But she has a long way to go."
"Uncle Jack said she has a fever," Cassie said.
"Yeah," Janet agreed. "It's making her feel real lousy. And her lungs aren't too good right now. But we have her on antibiotics, and lots of oxygen. And she's strong, Cass. So strong. And she loves you. She was worried that you and Grandma might not be safe, that's the first thing she said."
"In case the bad man comes back?" Cassie asked.
Janet nodded, trying to keep hold of her emotions. "That's right," she said, struggling to keep her voice even. "That's why you and Grandma are here, so's we can be sure you're safe."
"It's safe here, isn't it Mom?" Cassie asked.
"It is honey, it is. You'll be fine here. We all will," Janet replied.
"Grandma knows all about the Stargate now," Cassie brightened slightly. "Uncle Jack told her everything. She knows I'm from Hanka too."
Ella smiled. "It's a remarkable tale," she said quietly. "I always knew Cassandra was special."
Janet smiled back. "So special," she agreed. "Sam thinks so too. She's real sick, Cass," she told their daughter, "but she wanted me to come see you, make sure you're okay. You are okay, aren't you Cassie?"
Cassie sat up, and wiped the tears from her eyes. "Yeah," she forced a smile. "Of course I am. And Grandma's here if I get sad again. Can I see Sam?" she asked.
"No, sweetie, not quite yet," Janet said gently. "I'm sorry, but she's just too sick for any visitors right now. But you'll be her first visitor, I swear."
Cassie nodded. "I understand," she said. "You didn't leave her on her own, did you Mom?" her voice took on a note of panic.
"No, Cass, I didn't. Sharon and Frankie Michaels are with her, taking care of her. You remember Frankie, right? She took care of you when you were sick that time."
"She's real nice," Cassie said. She looked up at her mother. "Mom?" she said.
"Yes, honey?" Janet replied.
"It was real nice of you to come see me. I'm okay now. You should go back, be with Sam. You don't need to come see me again, not until Sam is better. Grandma will take care of me. Sam needs you now. Tell her I love her, huh?"
"She already knows that," Janet felt a rush of emotion at the unselfishness of their daughter. "I'll tell her though, I swear. She loves you too, Cass. So do I," she gave her a tight hug, and kissed her on the top of her head. "Thank you, Ella," she said to the older woman as she stood up.
Ella nodded and smiled reassuringly.
= = =
"Janet," O'Neill was waiting outside Cassandra's room as Janet exited. His tone was caring and supportive.
"Sir," Janet replied tiredly. "I really want to get back to Sam."
"I know," O'Neill replied. "I'll walk with you. I just wanted to ask, is there anything, anyone you can think of who might know where that bastard is. We're gonna find him Janet, and he's going to pay for what he's done."
Janet shook her head as they walked briskly toward the elevator. "I can't think of anyone," she said. "I don't know how he got here. He's not allowed out of the state, not without breaking his parole conditions. I just don't...." she stopped.
"Doc?" O'Neill asked, sensing that she might have a lead.
"It's a long shot," Janet said as they stepped into the elevator.
"Anything at all you think might help," his tone was kind.
"They use a guy. At work. I don't even know his surname. He does things for them. Finds people. He has contacts. They pay him in cash, no questions asked. He might have used him. I don't know."
"Where can we find him?" O'Neill asked.
"I don't know," Janet said. "But his boss Andrew might. He's called Ernie, I think. He came to the house once. David was real pissed when I saw him," Janet paled when she remembered the beating that had followed the visit.
"Thanks, Janet," O'Neill said. They were now outside Sam's private room at the infirmary. "That's great. How is she?" he nodded at the door.
"Not good," Janet said. "We just have to pray the antibiotics take hold soon."
"She's a fighter," O'Neill said, "the best there is." He gave Janet a quick hug. "Tell her we all love her," he said, his voice breaking.
= = =
Janet stepped into Sam's room, and was disconcerted to see Sam on her side. Frankie was removing a basin from her bedside, and Sharon was rubbing her back, holding the oxygen mask to her face as she struggled to haul oxygen into her lungs, panting with the effort, tears streaming down her face.
Janet rushed to her bedside, and took Sharon's place. "She got sick again, right?" she asked. Sharon nodded. "It's okay, Sam," Janet kissed her on the forehead, horrified at the heat that was pouring out of her.
"103.8," Frankie said quietly. "I think it's time, Janet," she said.
Janet was trying to calm her lover, who was gasping and panting desperately. Her lips were tinged with blue. Janet looked up at Frankie fearfully, and then nodded resolutely. Frankie moved to the cart, and started prepping a syringe. "Sam," Janet said, keeping her voice calm and reassuring. "It's okay, baby. Try not to panic. I know it's scary, sweetheart. But we're gonna fix you. We're gonna help you to sleep now, Frankie's getting a sedative. And then we'll make you all better." Tremors wracked Sam's body; Janet couldn't tell if it was the fever, or fear, or both.
"You don't have to worry about a thing, now, baby. That's it, you're doing good," Janet said as Frankie slipped the needle under the skin of Sam's left hand. "Okay, sweetie," Janet kept talking as Sam collapsed slowly into her arms. She could see that Frankie and Sharon were ready with all the implements for the intubation. "I'll do it," Janet said as she lay Sam back on the bed. Frankie nodded as Janet moved to stand behind Sam's head.
"It's in," Janet said seconds later, as she taped the tube to Sam's face. Sharon nodded and switched the ventilator on.
The swooshing sounds of the machine filled the room. Suddenly Janet's legs turned to rubber. Sharon rushed to her side, and guided her to a chair. Janet looked like death warmed over. "Are you okay?" Sharon asked.
Janet just looked up at her, confused. After several long seconds she nodded. "How is she?" she asked.
"Her color's better," Frankie answered. "She's getting more oxygen into her system."
Janet nodded again. Shakily she got to her feet and approached the bed. She thought her heart would break at the sight of Sam lying helpless, relying on life support to keep her breathing. She sank into the chair by the bed, and took up Sam's hand. "It'll be okay now, baby," she whispered, kissing each finger individually.
= = =
"I don't care what you have to do," O'Neill's tone was low and dangerous. "Just get him somewhere we can find him."
"Okay," Ernie was frightened of this Air Force colonel who had phoned him and threatened him. "I know what I can do. He's been bugging me for a passport. I'll tell him I've got it. But that I can't mail it, we have to meet somewhere in Colorado Springs."
"Tell him tomorrow morning," O'Neill said. "And then you call me right back, tell me where I need to be."
"I don't know if I can get him to agree," Ernie sounded pathetic.
"He will agree," O'Neill said. "I don't care what you have to do. Just do it."
= = =
"104.1," Janet looked up at the monitor. "Come on, baby, you have to fight this," she whispered to her lover. "You have to. I need you. We need you," she kissed her hand again tenderly. Sam was lying on her side, partly to alleviate her clogged lungs, partly to take the pressure off her wounded leg. Janet leant forward and kissed her on the forehead, tangling her other hand through her damp hair. She pulled Sam's limp hand towards her own breast, and molded the fingers round the globe. "I need to feel you again," Janet whispered. "I need you in my life. In my bed. Don't give up on us now Sam. Cassie's already lost too much. She can't lose you too. Fight, Sam, fight," she gave in to the relief of tears as she lay her head next to Sam's.
= = =
"He said there's a track, about 2km long. Off the highway, near the intersection. Leads to an old reservoir," Ernie told O'Neill.
O'Neill felt nauseous. "That sick fuck," he spat. "That's where he...." he stopped himself. "What time?"
"He'll be there at 1030hrs," Ernie said.
"So will we," O'Neill muttered. "So will we."