Official first rant of the holiday season.

Nov 11, 2010 22:12

I joined an orchestra up here, a Pops group sponsored by a local church (though I think there are maybe 3 people in it who go to said church.) Tonight was my second rehearsal, for a Christmas concert the first weekend of December. I suck slightly less this week than last, but still. As far as instruments go, violin kicks ass and does not take names. 98% of the time I play, I think "why [as a child] did I not just stick to piano? Being decent on one intsrument was enough, why did I have to go and learn another one?" But then, of course, I would not have met my husband (we met in a college string quartet) and would not have my beautiful son. (The pragmatic person would say, family in place, now you could still quit!)

I just have to vent at this point. Violin...it's not just being able to play the left hand fingered notes. No, the right-hand bowing is like this code I can't crack. If someone writes in my bowing, or I can copy what the first players are doing, then that's one thing. But if I can't. Well it's like a guessing game. Some people intuitively sense the proper bowing, or have stores of meticulous training and technique. Yeah, me not so much. And how you begin a phrase, or attack an entrance, it matters whether you're going up or down to begin with. And bow placement...geesh. Why do I still bother? I fear that mayhaps I have bitten off more than I can chew. Being the sole string player in my church's orchestra for the last 9 years, and then jumping feet first into this group (after nine years of bad habits that you can get away with when you're the only one on your part) might have been a bad idea. We shall see. My plan is to practice my ass off the next 3 weeks, and then they can 'can' me if they want to before the concert.

On a less rant-y note, can I voice a milder frustration at finding a new church to attend. I think at this point, it's going to have to find me. We have visited 10 since Labor Day. I know I'm not going to find exactly what I left behind, and I have to be open to this being a different part of the country. But Sundays, I just miss home the most out of any day of the week. Feels like a huge hunk of my life is missing. Fortunately, God's not missing, here in Illinois or anywhere else, so I know the actual "place of worship" thing will work itself out.
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