Love Song
Today was my last Sunday at my church for a long while. And it was such an awesome service. Summer attendance can be sporadic, but this morning --at least in orchestra-- we were close to 100%. The orchestra, wow, there are only 20 of us or so, but these folks were my first friends at Duluth FBC, from the day I walked into rehearsal nine years ago. So to be up on the platform this morning, with some really nice music to play, with people I definitely describe as "family," ..... yeah I'm emotional about it. And then, sitting on the platform looking out at the congregation and the balcony, all nearly full, I don't know if I can describe how much love I feel towards the members of our church. Being in a place for so long, having taught the seven and eight year olds the whole time, I know so many amazing families who have all touched my life, and my son's life, and brought a richness to us that is beyond words. It's God who sustains me spiritually, but my "church friends" have really "been there" for me, during some tough times these last few years. I can't begin to say thank you. I mean it would be crazy, it would be like hiring a sky writer or taking out a bill board...I feel a larger than life gratitude that it's not even feasible for me to express.
Of course, it is God we are there to praise, and there is such a renewed sense of purpose and worship in our midst. We finally have a new pastor, after our former pastor went back to North Africa as a missionary. He get's it. He's down to earth and a servant leader. Our minister of Music has set an incredible tone for worship. Where even five years ago, we had numerous divisive issues, things are much stronger and unified because of it. I think what I am most excited about is seeing what will HAPPEN in the coming year. I feel real momentum. Our community is the utter definition of "diverse" and I think that FINALLY we will begin to engage that. Our church is still mostly caucasian, and I look forward to when it will look more like the public library story times I took babyboy to. (Because, at least in this part of sub-urban Atlanta, there is such a range of people groups, and I think it's extremely cool. At the library, I enjoyed trying to even guess what ethnicities were represented. And I can't. I could maybe get it down to broad regions, but to distinguish between specific eastern European countries, or what part of the Indian sub-continent, or even between the myriad places of origin for people of hispanic or Asian background ... Ok I digress.)
Maybe what I mean to say is, in some ways saying bye to my church famiy is more difficult than leaving my actual extended family. I'll see my relatives at holidays. But I wont be part of the weekly fabric of my place of worship anymore. I know that in Illinois, I'll find another place to connect. Maybe not in the same ways, and not in the same areas of service, but there will be new relationships to form. It's just hard being aware that such dynamic things, surely, are on the horizon for my church, and knowing I wont be a physical part of them. It was such a great morning, but so tough to really let go. I thought for sure, for sure, this wouldn't have happend. But I can't really keep my head stuck in the sand anymore. I have no idea where the coming year will find my husband and me, but I can't profess Christianity and yet be afraid to walk by faith and not by sight.
Of course, it is God we are there to praise, and there is such a renewed sense of purpose and worship in our midst. We finally have a new pastor, after our former pastor went back to North Africa as a missionary. He get's it. He's down to earth and a servant leader. Our minister of Music has set an incredible tone for worship. Where even five years ago, we had numerous divisive issues, things are much stronger and unified because of it. I think what I am most excited about is seeing what will HAPPEN in the coming year. I feel real momentum. Our community is the utter definition of "diverse" and I think that FINALLY we will begin to engage that. Our church is still mostly caucasian, and I look forward to when it will look more like the public library story times I took babyboy to. (Because, at least in this part of sub-urban Atlanta, there is such a range of people groups, and I think it's extremely cool. At the library, I enjoyed trying to even guess what ethnicities were represented. And I can't. I could maybe get it down to broad regions, but to distinguish between specific eastern European countries, or what part of the Indian sub-continent, or even between the myriad places of origin for people of hispanic or Asian background ... Ok I digress.)
Maybe what I mean to say is, in some ways saying bye to my church famiy is more difficult than leaving my actual extended family. I'll see my relatives at holidays. But I wont be part of the weekly fabric of my place of worship anymore. I know that in Illinois, I'll find another place to connect. Maybe not in the same ways, and not in the same areas of service, but there will be new relationships to form. It's just hard being aware that such dynamic things, surely, are on the horizon for my church, and knowing I wont be a physical part of them. It was such a great morning, but so tough to really let go. I thought for sure, for sure, this wouldn't have happend. But I can't really keep my head stuck in the sand anymore. I have no idea where the coming year will find my husband and me, but I can't profess Christianity and yet be afraid to walk by faith and not by sight.