Once upon a time...
...There was a beautiful snowman walking along a sea of pepto bismol. As he strolled along the pink waves, he saw a giant erection protruding from the sea. The snowman rubbed the erection and a dildo genie squirted out. "WHAT IS YOUR WISH?!", asked the genie. "I want candles for boobies!, exclaimed the snowman. "ALACAZAM!", intoned the genie.