Moving Forward.. maybe?
Mike and I had a fight last night and it brought some things to realization.
I cant handle my mental issues on my own and I cant handle them without some sort of help. Mike is not equiped to help with this sort of thing. And its unfair to him that I am expecting him to just understand it and help me through it. He's got a lot on his plate right now. Working a job where people treat him like shit, and we still have barely enough money to keep up on our bills with how much he has to spend in gas going back and forth to work.
I, on the other hand, cant even fathom holding down a job right now. I cant even hold down doing a few simple things around the house right now!
I'm going insane. I called my aunt after the fight from a Taco Bell parking lot. Had to have a few smokes and a Mt. Dew. Found out what I am going through, alot of that side of the family has gone through or is going through. My great grandma, grandma, Aunt, and Papa.
Ya know those sheets in the doctors office where they have you check stuff in your family history? Yeah... I might as well just check all the damn boxes. Cancers, diabeties, thyroid, and mental illness. And this is one of the reasons I dont want to procreate, though definately not the main one.
So I talked to my Aunt Angie. She wants to help me out since she's been through it. She has offered to let me stay for a few days or weeks. She's far from Mike and thats one of my concerns. However I cant be much use to Mike when I'm a complete mess. Mike and I are going to talk about it when he gets home from work today.
As much as I fear being away from Mike, it would be a great oppertunity. I'll get to know my Aunt Angie better and I will get started on a path that will hopefully lead me to a slightly more sane life. We'll see how the talk with Mike goes but I am fully expecting to be with my Aunt for at least a week, if not slightly longer.
I cant handle my mental issues on my own and I cant handle them without some sort of help. Mike is not equiped to help with this sort of thing. And its unfair to him that I am expecting him to just understand it and help me through it. He's got a lot on his plate right now. Working a job where people treat him like shit, and we still have barely enough money to keep up on our bills with how much he has to spend in gas going back and forth to work.
I, on the other hand, cant even fathom holding down a job right now. I cant even hold down doing a few simple things around the house right now!
I'm going insane. I called my aunt after the fight from a Taco Bell parking lot. Had to have a few smokes and a Mt. Dew. Found out what I am going through, alot of that side of the family has gone through or is going through. My great grandma, grandma, Aunt, and Papa.
Ya know those sheets in the doctors office where they have you check stuff in your family history? Yeah... I might as well just check all the damn boxes. Cancers, diabeties, thyroid, and mental illness. And this is one of the reasons I dont want to procreate, though definately not the main one.
So I talked to my Aunt Angie. She wants to help me out since she's been through it. She has offered to let me stay for a few days or weeks. She's far from Mike and thats one of my concerns. However I cant be much use to Mike when I'm a complete mess. Mike and I are going to talk about it when he gets home from work today.
As much as I fear being away from Mike, it would be a great oppertunity. I'll get to know my Aunt Angie better and I will get started on a path that will hopefully lead me to a slightly more sane life. We'll see how the talk with Mike goes but I am fully expecting to be with my Aunt for at least a week, if not slightly longer.