Five minute hate (paroxysm remix)
I hate the kitchen
I hate that its layout is completely useless for serious cooking.
I hate that it's at the back of the house away from where people can comfortably socialise.
I I hate that even if people come down to the kitchen, there's no room for them to stand, never mind sit, that does not put them in the way of cooking processes.
I hate that I can't keep the baby warm and safe and with me while working in it, and at the moment I particularly hate that when she is unsettled I can't even get a drink when I'm feeling dehydrated or uncaffeinated or both.
I hate that I have to put on full outdoor clothes to work in it at this time of year, and that turning on the oven does not make the space appreciably warmer.
I hate that the oven is underpowered and does not cook at the advertised temperatures and will not get hot enough to really crisp a pizza crust or the outside of a roast, without turning on the griller too, which then burns everything.
I hate that there are cracks in the windows and holes in the ceiling and that dust of dubious provenance comes in through these and settles on everything on open shelving or benchtops.
I hate that the bulk of the storage is open shelving, and that my good heavy saucepans thus totter and fall and break things on a regular basis, sometimes favourite pieces of crockery or pyrex.
I hate that nothing is straight or at a proper right angle.
I hate that the back wall is asbsestos.
I hate that all the walls and ceiling need a serious sugar soaping to get rid of built up grease.
I hate that there is no extractor fan.
I hate that there is no door through into the rest of the house, so there are massive cold drafts.
I hate that the door to the outside always jams and needs genuine violence to open.
I hate that the splashback does not meet the bench behind the sink so that water drips down and rots things almost every time you use the taps.
I hate that the taps keep coming apart.
I hate that the floor vinyl does not extend under the cupboards, which are on legs rather than meeting the floor, so there is a filthy, rotten, impossible to clean space that is always just visible yet not really reachable (and will be a disaster when MLG is crawling).
I hate that there is theoretically heaps of benchspace, but most of it is not where it is useful.
I hate that the pantry cupboard is up against the uninsulated northfacing wall (as well as the eastern wall) and is therefore effectively a warming cupboard in summer and another fridge in winter.
I hate that I just found that mice had eaten a big chunk of the nice Phillipa's olive bread I bought myself for a treat yesterday.
I hate that ants regularly get into the pantry cupboard and crawl across the useless benches, making them even more useless.
I hate that there is nowhere better than the fridge to keep the bread if you don't want ants or mice to get at it, because the fridge I bought is one of the few GOOD things in the kitchen and dessicates things beautifully, which makes the bread good only for toast.
I hate that MLM thinks it's a pretty much ideal kitchen really.
I hate that we can't afford to replace it with a simple but functional kitchen/family room arrangement for at least a year or two yet, and I hate that I'm the only one in my mother's group who doesn't have a functional kitchen/family room arrangement. Come to think of it, I especially hate that most of them are ten years or so youger than me and already have a functional, warm kitchen they can watch and sing to their babies in.
I hate that even when it's clean it looks dirty.
And now I've got that off my chest, if MLG will stay asleep this time I might even get to go and clean it up a bit. If I'm really lucky, also pre-cook a casserole for dinner, since the kitchen is particularly unpleasant to be in, and particuarly difficult to juggle with baby needs and adult socialising, in the evening.
Poor MLG has just worked out how to sleep through the night, and is now trying to work out how to sleep in the day if she's done that. I'm hoping she can sort it out quickly, because getting nearly 6 hours uninterrupted sleep last night was fabulous but the night before and this morning were much less pleasant (for her too, obviously, poor thing)..
I hate that its layout is completely useless for serious cooking.
I hate that it's at the back of the house away from where people can comfortably socialise.
I I hate that even if people come down to the kitchen, there's no room for them to stand, never mind sit, that does not put them in the way of cooking processes.
I hate that I can't keep the baby warm and safe and with me while working in it, and at the moment I particularly hate that when she is unsettled I can't even get a drink when I'm feeling dehydrated or uncaffeinated or both.
I hate that I have to put on full outdoor clothes to work in it at this time of year, and that turning on the oven does not make the space appreciably warmer.
I hate that the oven is underpowered and does not cook at the advertised temperatures and will not get hot enough to really crisp a pizza crust or the outside of a roast, without turning on the griller too, which then burns everything.
I hate that there are cracks in the windows and holes in the ceiling and that dust of dubious provenance comes in through these and settles on everything on open shelving or benchtops.
I hate that the bulk of the storage is open shelving, and that my good heavy saucepans thus totter and fall and break things on a regular basis, sometimes favourite pieces of crockery or pyrex.
I hate that nothing is straight or at a proper right angle.
I hate that the back wall is asbsestos.
I hate that all the walls and ceiling need a serious sugar soaping to get rid of built up grease.
I hate that there is no extractor fan.
I hate that there is no door through into the rest of the house, so there are massive cold drafts.
I hate that the door to the outside always jams and needs genuine violence to open.
I hate that the splashback does not meet the bench behind the sink so that water drips down and rots things almost every time you use the taps.
I hate that the taps keep coming apart.
I hate that the floor vinyl does not extend under the cupboards, which are on legs rather than meeting the floor, so there is a filthy, rotten, impossible to clean space that is always just visible yet not really reachable (and will be a disaster when MLG is crawling).
I hate that there is theoretically heaps of benchspace, but most of it is not where it is useful.
I hate that the pantry cupboard is up against the uninsulated northfacing wall (as well as the eastern wall) and is therefore effectively a warming cupboard in summer and another fridge in winter.
I hate that I just found that mice had eaten a big chunk of the nice Phillipa's olive bread I bought myself for a treat yesterday.
I hate that ants regularly get into the pantry cupboard and crawl across the useless benches, making them even more useless.
I hate that there is nowhere better than the fridge to keep the bread if you don't want ants or mice to get at it, because the fridge I bought is one of the few GOOD things in the kitchen and dessicates things beautifully, which makes the bread good only for toast.
I hate that MLM thinks it's a pretty much ideal kitchen really.
I hate that we can't afford to replace it with a simple but functional kitchen/family room arrangement for at least a year or two yet, and I hate that I'm the only one in my mother's group who doesn't have a functional kitchen/family room arrangement. Come to think of it, I especially hate that most of them are ten years or so youger than me and already have a functional, warm kitchen they can watch and sing to their babies in.
I hate that even when it's clean it looks dirty.
And now I've got that off my chest, if MLG will stay asleep this time I might even get to go and clean it up a bit. If I'm really lucky, also pre-cook a casserole for dinner, since the kitchen is particularly unpleasant to be in, and particuarly difficult to juggle with baby needs and adult socialising, in the evening.
Poor MLG has just worked out how to sleep through the night, and is now trying to work out how to sleep in the day if she's done that. I'm hoping she can sort it out quickly, because getting nearly 6 hours uninterrupted sleep last night was fabulous but the night before and this morning were much less pleasant (for her too, obviously, poor thing)..