Aug 09, 2005 23:20
I haven't updated this thing in awhile..
I don't know why I have this thing anymore--I mean I don't write in it..It's useless--I'm useless..
I don't have that "insperatinal" kind of writting some people have..I can't open up my heart and tell the whole world what I am feeling. I just can't do it. I have trouble with handeling my own feelings. I wont let people no if I am upset..I'll usally put a smile on and just act like nothings going on. That's good and bad in someways..When I hold certain emotions in I just feel worse and worse. For example right now something is bothering me..and I can't even bring myself to writting about it.
I care more about what people think of me then anyone will ever no. I'm one of those people who when something sad happenes I crack a joke, It's terrible I no. But that's how I basically handle things. By myself, I cry, I cry like a huge baby. But with others I just laugh it off.
One part of me wants to say fairwell and just get rid of this journal..but another part of me dosen't..I don't know why.
I went to the mall..I no that's nothing special to any of you but I was proud of myself. See my anxiety ussally gets into the way of this stuff, but I accually sucked it up and went in. I was nervouse as hell but did it anyways. You all should be proud. Just kidding..I no you all think I'm a big loser.
I want to go to the warped tour more than anything..I really really want to go!
I went down to Baskin Robbins today with Stacy haha that was a funn time!!! We put Dora band-aids all over Stacys face. hahaha it was hilariouse.
Whelp I'm out
Peace<33