Oh, everything. I'm sleepy and babbling.
I am so tired. Uni is killing me. It's only Wednesday and already I want to curl up and nap until Easter. Just have to get used to getting up at the same time every morning and doing a lot of walking, I guess. My body needs to adjust. Hope it doesn't take long; it's really hard to work when I can hardly stay awake. So hard to concerntrate and to think. Not even paying much attention to what I'm writing now.
Had my first Games and Simulation tutorial today. Not sure what I think of the course itself yet, but really wasn't big on the tutorial. Not for the content, that was fine, but there are some very loud people in it. I hate loud voices in new situations. It makes me feel small and threatened, especially when I'm already tired and a little nervous. It's awful to feel that you are not able to speak. And, they may not mean to be so monopolising, but it is obvious that there are a lot of others in the class who don't get to speak even though they clearly want to. It is hardly fair that those with less manners and louder voices are getting all the floor time. I don't like feeling small. Now that I know to expect it though, I might cope better next week, if I'm awake enough. There seem to be some pretty okay people in the course, it might be fun.
Tomorrow is the first Brain and Behaviour tutorial. The one in which I shall meet my rat. We're not supposed to get attached, but I've kind of already picked out names. They'll only work if the rat is pure white though, otherwise the effect will be lost. If it is a boy rat, his name shall be Herman or Hermes. I like the idea of the rich, dark green of Herman and Hermes next to sheer white. If it is a girl rat, I'm inclined towards Seraphine. It's a very pretty light pink with a slight air of light blue suggested. I think that would go beautifully with white.
Have I mentioned that I have synesthesia? Letters, words, numbers and some sounds and scents have colour and shape to me. Everything is just wired tightly in my head, there are many people that have it to some degree. It feels the most natural thing in the world to me, but to people who don't have it it is a very strange concept. To me it's only strange to think people have different colours. Like 2 being red. That just doesn't work for me, it feels all wrong. I have a lot of trouble trying to picture it, and feel almost physically ill trying to. It is simply wrong.
I love my synesthesia, and in some situations it's a major advantage. Makes things easy to remember, they have that extra dimension to grab hold of. But it can make things tricky if something isn't the colour it should be. Like I keep getting confused by the colours I've given my psych subjects on my timetable. Psychology is a blue word and a blue subject, so the courses are in different shades of blue on my timetable. Stats is light blue because "stats" the word is somewhat light pink, and light pink and light blue go nicely together, and Brain and Behaiour is dark blue because of the Bs, which is a very very dark blue letter. But the course code for stats is PSYC2012, and the code for B&B PSYC2011. You see my problem. There is nothing so dark blue as 2, 12, and 22. And 11 is a light, greyish sort of feel. The psych deparment has give the course the wrong codes for my brain and I've gotten confused by it and completely buggered myself up even more by colouring in my timetable wrong. It is really hard to get my head around it.
I'm doing quite well with keeping on top of work this year so far. Inasmuch as I'm actually doing it this year, which is quite a significant leap. Had planned to be very organised this year, as I do not want to get overwhelmed and upset. I hate that, and really don't want a repeat of last year, last year was just so awful. I've been doing the readings, and am writing down what has to be done in my diary so I can keep track and catch up on Friday, which is my designated day of doing work at a leisurely pace in a relaxed fashion and in pleasant environments. It's always good when one finds one can stick to ones own convictions. Am proud. An doing very well. Am most pleased with self.
The plants are going well, my cooking is getting quite colourful, am eating lots of fruit and veg, and the house is in good order. Not spending too much time on the laptop, and am going to bed before 1am (baby steps, that one). Most thrilling of all, the marigold seeds have breeched the soil! I shall have marigolds! Pretty gold flowers along my balcony!
Energy is running low, lifting fingers to hit keys all a bit much. Going to get up and make some banana and custard for tea while still can. Uuuuurrr, still have to have a shower yet. Tomorrow can sleep in a bit longer in the morning, that'll help. Really can't wait until Friday and sleep and no interpersonal interaction.
Had my first Games and Simulation tutorial today. Not sure what I think of the course itself yet, but really wasn't big on the tutorial. Not for the content, that was fine, but there are some very loud people in it. I hate loud voices in new situations. It makes me feel small and threatened, especially when I'm already tired and a little nervous. It's awful to feel that you are not able to speak. And, they may not mean to be so monopolising, but it is obvious that there are a lot of others in the class who don't get to speak even though they clearly want to. It is hardly fair that those with less manners and louder voices are getting all the floor time. I don't like feeling small. Now that I know to expect it though, I might cope better next week, if I'm awake enough. There seem to be some pretty okay people in the course, it might be fun.
Tomorrow is the first Brain and Behaviour tutorial. The one in which I shall meet my rat. We're not supposed to get attached, but I've kind of already picked out names. They'll only work if the rat is pure white though, otherwise the effect will be lost. If it is a boy rat, his name shall be Herman or Hermes. I like the idea of the rich, dark green of Herman and Hermes next to sheer white. If it is a girl rat, I'm inclined towards Seraphine. It's a very pretty light pink with a slight air of light blue suggested. I think that would go beautifully with white.
Have I mentioned that I have synesthesia? Letters, words, numbers and some sounds and scents have colour and shape to me. Everything is just wired tightly in my head, there are many people that have it to some degree. It feels the most natural thing in the world to me, but to people who don't have it it is a very strange concept. To me it's only strange to think people have different colours. Like 2 being red. That just doesn't work for me, it feels all wrong. I have a lot of trouble trying to picture it, and feel almost physically ill trying to. It is simply wrong.
I love my synesthesia, and in some situations it's a major advantage. Makes things easy to remember, they have that extra dimension to grab hold of. But it can make things tricky if something isn't the colour it should be. Like I keep getting confused by the colours I've given my psych subjects on my timetable. Psychology is a blue word and a blue subject, so the courses are in different shades of blue on my timetable. Stats is light blue because "stats" the word is somewhat light pink, and light pink and light blue go nicely together, and Brain and Behaiour is dark blue because of the Bs, which is a very very dark blue letter. But the course code for stats is PSYC2012, and the code for B&B PSYC2011. You see my problem. There is nothing so dark blue as 2, 12, and 22. And 11 is a light, greyish sort of feel. The psych deparment has give the course the wrong codes for my brain and I've gotten confused by it and completely buggered myself up even more by colouring in my timetable wrong. It is really hard to get my head around it.
I'm doing quite well with keeping on top of work this year so far. Inasmuch as I'm actually doing it this year, which is quite a significant leap. Had planned to be very organised this year, as I do not want to get overwhelmed and upset. I hate that, and really don't want a repeat of last year, last year was just so awful. I've been doing the readings, and am writing down what has to be done in my diary so I can keep track and catch up on Friday, which is my designated day of doing work at a leisurely pace in a relaxed fashion and in pleasant environments. It's always good when one finds one can stick to ones own convictions. Am proud. An doing very well. Am most pleased with self.
The plants are going well, my cooking is getting quite colourful, am eating lots of fruit and veg, and the house is in good order. Not spending too much time on the laptop, and am going to bed before 1am (baby steps, that one). Most thrilling of all, the marigold seeds have breeched the soil! I shall have marigolds! Pretty gold flowers along my balcony!
Energy is running low, lifting fingers to hit keys all a bit much. Going to get up and make some banana and custard for tea while still can. Uuuuurrr, still have to have a shower yet. Tomorrow can sleep in a bit longer in the morning, that'll help. Really can't wait until Friday and sleep and no interpersonal interaction.