there are places I remember
Title: If It Hadn't Been for Love (or Days of Future Past)
Fandom: Super Junior
Rating: PG13
Pairing: Kihae
Summary: Kibum takes a leap of faith
A/N: first of all, definite TWT label getting slapped on this fic. After that, inestimable thanks to all the people that have helped me pick this apart and piece it back together over the past ten months, especially bittersnow (without whom this fic would have neither direction nor an actual ending >.>;), blahnicity and thundersquall (they've probably memorised this line for line with how many times I've run to them screaming and generally in hysterics ♥)
"If I fall," Donghae called, eyes on the ground, looking a lot farther down than it had when he'd first started climbing the tree, "You think you could catch me?"
Kibum stood at the trunk, the soles of his sneakers bending over an uplifted root. He crossed his arms, staring skyward, eyes on something past Donghae. After a moment of thought he gave his answer, voice almost too quiet to hear from where Donghae sat, clinging to a branch, "I'll try."
Donghae nodded decisively, flexing his fingers as he reached for the branch above him, breath stuck deep in his chest as he prepared to lift his bare feet from the stability below him, "Here goes,"
"Nothing!" Kibum laughed right next to his ear; the sound fluttered through him, and Donghae wondered if it would look weird if he stuck his finger in his ear to try and dislodge the sensation, "Just- remember when you broke your arm?"
Donghae hummed, swinging his legs from where he was seated at the edge of the dock, toes skimming the surface of the water. Of course he remembered, it hurt like hell. Kibum leaned his head on Donghae's shoulder, fingertip tracing the lip of the bottle he held between his legs. Once they'd gotten past the burn, it wasn't so bad, went down kind of easy. Maybe they'd had a bit too much, but Donghae thought it was kind of nice to see Kibum this relaxed. Even if he knew Kibum's father would skin them alive when he found out, because he always found out.
"I felt bad," he smiled, lifting his head and looking into Donghae's eyes, expression softened by the late August sun sinking into the water in front of them, "but it was too ridiculous, I had to laugh."
"You promised," Donghae breathed, leaning closer only half-unconsciously, "You said you'd catch me, and you didn't."
Kibum dropped his hand from the mouth of the bottle, laying it instead over Donghae's long healed forearm as he crossed the last couple inches that lay between them, "I said I'd try,"
"But you didn't, not really." he turned away from Kibum, spinning the dial to stop at random numbers, because all of the sudden he couldn't remember his locker combination. Donghae could feel him staring at the back of his blazer, the same one the academy had issued Kibum at the start of their senior year. He stopped turning the dial, fingers splayed limply over it as he leaned his forehead against the cool metal door; five months was too little time for so much to have changed.
"Look at me," Kibum demanded, a jagged edge of desperation in his voice, "I did try. But it doesn't matter, she- it's over."
He knew if he turned around Kibum would be glancing up and down the hallway to see if anyone had noticed him losing his composure. He didn't have to worry, there were tones in Kibum's voice that most of the time, Donghae was sure only he could hear. "She's probably wondering what I've done to you this time." he sighed, speaking into the aluminium, "You should go."
A hand dropped to his shoulder, turning him, gently. He let himself be pushed around, but stared holes into mismatched floor tiles as a weak consolation to whatever pride he had left, Kibum continued, "Donghae, she's not waiting for me. We -"
"Don't!" Donghae choked, everything he'd never said rising up in his throat, strangling him. He swallowed, the harsher words scraping his throat raw as he pushed them back, "I liked her too, you know. I really did, and I thought you knew," his voice was hoarse, breaking as he reached out to grip Kibum's free hand tightly in his own.
"You- what?" Kibum's heart lurched and he tried to tell himself it wasn't for all the wrong reasons, but the thought still rang out in his mind, echoing viciously, Donghae liked her too?
Donghae shook his head in what looked a lot like disbelief, a bittersweet smile surfacing as he spoke, "But Kibum, I liked you more."
He opened his mouth, but no words would come out, he just stared and tried to make sense of what he'd just heard, "Could you repeat that?"
"Weren't you listening? Please, Kibum?!" Donghae pleaded, arms wrapped around his shoulders, thighs on either side of his waist.
Donghae had tackled him as soon as he'd gotten through the door, like literally tackled, and started babbling about an audition for a music video and how he really needed this shot because he was just so so close to making it and the more exposure the better, but that was not the part Kibum was having trouble with. He frowned, shoving Donghae off of him, "Okay, so I did hear that right. Answer's still no, you're not taking my car."
"But if I don't get this part, I could die!" Kibum got to his feet and watched, more amused than he'd probably admit, as Donghae rolled around on the floor acting out a slow end. He finished writhing in the throes of death with a hissed exhale, falling limp. It only lasted for about four or five seconds, which was pretty much the maximum amount of time Donghae was able to be still for, before he cracked an eye open, voice solemn, "You wouldn't want that on your shoulders, would you?"
Kibum stepped gently on his stomach, leaning over to consider the folded hands Donghae had raised to him as he wriggled around with whispering a litany of pleasepleasepleaseplease like each one could be the straw to break Kibum's will.
He smiled, sweetly, removing his foot from Donghae's solar plexus, "Sorry, still no. I'll get you a nice headstone though, don't worry."
It was his plan to leave Donghae to a tantrum in the front hall while he rummaged through his fridge for something to eat, but when he tried to step away, Donghae had both arms wound tight around his legs, "Kibum. I promise I will do all of your laundry and type your organic chem labs and go to those boring research trials with you and get you those cookies you like from the co-op and replace the strings on your guitar and cook dinner every night and- and I'll even bottom for the rest of the forseeable future, please. Let me take your car,"
"I don't need you to wash my clothes, I'd fail that class if you got anywhere near my labs, those trials are not boring, I can get cookies myself, keep your hands away from my guitar and all kitchen utensils and... uh- well, it's not like you top that often anyway," Kibum tried to ignore the sting of color in his cheeks as he reached down to pry Donghae off of him. But he only ended up getting one leg free which left him unbalanced and then on his ass with Donghae climbing over him. He tried to work his way out of the deathgrip, but Donghae simply pushed him onto his back, planting messy kisses with rushed words in between, "I'll never ask for anything ever again!"
Kibum raised an eyebrow in response and Donghae grinned, fingers skimming over Kibum's beltbuckle, "Unless, you know, you want me to."
His hips twitched into Donghae's hand as he started to palm him through his jeans, batting his eyelashes, tongue slicking pink over his bottom lip, "Please?"
Groaning, Kibum grabbed him by the collar and dragged him into a kiss, mumbling, "Fine."
"Really?! Kibum, you're the best! When I get famous, I'll totally give you an autograph!" He jumped up from Kibum, and started dancing down the hall and into the kitchen.
Kibum was left half hard and very frustrated. He levered himself up from the floor and trailed behind Donghae intent on settling the terms of the deal, sexual favors topping the list. In the kitchen, Donghae was moonwalking across the linoleum, hips rolling as he came to a stop and changed direction smoothly. Kibum watched him continue his victory celebration, the corners of his mouth hinting at a smile, "You're pretty good at that,"
"Very good, actually." Donghae winked and stood up, licking his lips clean, "Or was all that moaning and begging just for show?"
Kibum cuffed him and Donghae squawked clutching the side of his head, "That hurt! I blow you and you beat me?!"
"I'm not beating you," Kibum contradicted, voice still rough, "I wouldn't want to knock loose whatever brains you have left." he grinned, zipping up his fly before someone could walk into the recording booth and catch them. Again.
Donghae scoffed, "See if you get an autograph now!"
"Yeah, because you don't already give me ten more for each of your albums, not to mention an additional five for every music video release."
"It's not like you keep them anyway, right?" Donghae shrugged, leaning against Kibum's chest, dragging his arms to wrap around his waist. He waited about two breaths for Kibum's retort, pulling back to eye him when there was still nothing after five, "Right, Kibum?"
Kibum sighed and dragged Donghae back against him, hoping the contact would distract Donghae long enough for him to come up with a decent cover story.
But Donghae just wound his arms tightly around Kibum, squeezing the air out of him until Kibum was forced to push him off or pass out. Donghae simply grinned at him, excited to have stumbled upon this gem of information, "So, where do you keep them, in your underwear drawer, under the bed?"
"Under the bed, really?" Kibum rolled his eyes in exasperation.
"Yes," Donghae answered solemnly from the middle of the bed, two smaller figures curled into him, "Heejoon's sure of it, right?" he contined, nudging the boy at his left.
Heejoon lifted his head from Donghae's stomach, eyes wide, "It's true. There are aliens under the bed!"
A high-pitched wail sounded from beneath a small mountain of blankets on Donghae's opposite side; Kibum crossed the room swiftly, digging under the covers to scoop up Eunjeong. He patted her back consolingly as she buried her face in his neck, smearing tears into his collar while hiccuping, "I don't w-want aliens to be real!"
He glared at Donghae who smiled back, completely guiltless. Kibum sighed and unclipped his security badge from his shirt pocket, setting it down on the bedside table before climbing into the already overcrowded bed. After settling Eunjeong in his lap, he turned to face Donghae, "I go to the lab for less than five hours and you manage to convince them that not only do aliens exist, but that they are also under our bed?"
The girl in his lap started crying harder, Donghae shrugged and pulled Eunjeong from Kibum to rock her, shushing her gently before explaining, "I just said that the universe is much bigger than we can imagine and it's not completely unreasonable to- Okay, Heejoon's the one who said they were under the bed."
Kibum decided that tonight he would forego the Surprise! You're an Adult lecture and skip straight to Please Don't Mentally Scar the Children While I'm Working. At first, Donghae started off nodding to assure Kibum that yes, he was definitely listening. But then his attention began to drift and he started humming under his breath, eyes on the sleepy flutter of Eunjeong's lashes. By the time Kibum got to Ways to Avoid Landing Our Children in Therapy, Donghae had started singing a lullaby and Eunjeong was fast asleep in his arms, Heejoon not far behind.
"See? No harm done!" he smiled, patting his leg.
Kibum sighed, half-hating the way Donghae always managed to make him feel completely at odds with any kind of logic, "Donghae, he's- how can you just say yes like that! Why didn't you talk to me first?"
"Because you would have said no," Donghae answered, speaking slowly, like he wasn't sure why Kibum hadn't come to that conclusion on his own. He minimized the half-finished spreadsheet for his dance company's yearly budget and dropped his calculator onto the questionably organized chaos of his desk. Pushing the rolling chair back, he allowed himself a slow spin before scooting close enough to cant his head against Kibum's hip.
"Of course I would have said no. She's too young, and he's too- too not good enough." Kibum stared at the carpet, a backdrop for all the little moments filtering through his mind, the rush of pride he felt watching her walk at two graduations, his near death experiences while teaching her to drive, the patch of floor Donghae wore down when she was late coming back from her first date, the extra batteries he brought to her endless practices and recitals, her smile beautiful even before braces, carrying her and her brother to bed when they fell asleep between them on the couch, teaching her to tie her shoes, wincing during her vaccination appointments, her first steps, her first words, the scar on the back of his hand from burning himself while making a bottle at 3am, the first time he saw her after so many nights spent worrying whether or not they'd actually get to keep the little baby girl in the picture. And now this punk was trying to take her away.
He didn't look up at the sound of the chair squeaking, didn't react past a deep breath in when he felt the familiar heat of Donghae pressed against his back. He raised his hand to his eyes, rubbing at an itch he didn't quite feel.
"Kibum, you wouldn't be acting like this if it were Heejoon." Donghae pushed a kiss over the nape of his neck, smoothing a hand over his cheek, "Besides, she's 24 and he's a nice kid. You know he is, you used to like him, remember?"
Kibum shook his head, "That was before. Now- now I hate him. I hate him and he's not marrying her because- because- how could you just say yes like that?" he groaned, leaning his head back against Donghae's shoulder.
"Oh come on. You love him, and if you love her, you'll let them get married."
Kibum could hear the laugh in his voice and it only frustrated him more, because Donghae was right; he was something to laugh at, throwing a tantrum over his (only) daughter's impending marriage. He sent up a silent wish for faith like Donghae's, because it seemed like a bit much to ask for his rationality.
He turned around to face Donghae, pushing their foreheads together, "Actually, I'm pretty sure you're the problem here."
"No," Donghae smiled as easy as ever, "You love me too."
"I know, but still."
"Don't worry, it'll get better." Donghae flexed the fingers showing from where his cast crossed his hand, a frown on his face that Kibum wasn't used to seeing.
He pulled the tab of the sodacan back, handing it to Donghae who received it with his good hand. He waited until Donghae had his first sip before responding, "I'm really sorry."
"Don't be, it doesn't even hurt anymore." Donghae licked at the soda stuck in the rim, shrugging. He downed another mouthful, passing it back to Kibum before reflexively lifting his arm and accidentally wiping his mouth against the rough plaster wrapped around his wrist. He mumbled as he switched arms, "Keep forgetting."
"Well when it does get better, you can try to climb that tree again, and this time I promise I really will catch you, okay?" He didn't look up for Donghae's reaction, because he wasn't really sure he wanted to see Donghae as upset as he'd been the day Kibum broke his promise. For Kibum, quiet and withdrawn at six years old, losing your best friend was the most terrifying thing he could think of. Even seeing Donghae's arm bent the wrong way didn't scare him as much as the thought of Donghae turning away from him.
"My mom said, from now on, I'm not allowed to climb anything taller than I am."
"Do you always do what she tells you to?" Kibum scowled, sticking two fingers between his tie and his neck, trying to get a little more breathing room. He'd probably scuffed his dress shoes having spent the better part of the morning pacing the parking lot as guests filed past and into the church.
Donghae's eyes widened and he laughed, slapping Kibum's hand away and adjusting the knot in his tie, "Well I'm not the one who bought her a three floor dollhouse with a functioning elevator and pool because she made that face she makes and I just can't say no~"
"And who taught her to make that face!"
"I did." Unrepentant, Donghae grabbed him by the shoulders and shoved Kibum towards the doors of the church where Heejoon was waving frantically at them with his youngest cousin, the terrified flower girl, clinging to his leg and sobbing.
Kibum's chest constricted at the sight, thinking not so long ago he'd stood utterly helpless and mostly useless any time his kids showed the slightest sign of upset and now he was about to marry his daughter off when he was just starting to get things figured out (No, daddy, I do not like pickles on my sandwich). He stopped short as Heejoon bent over and swept his cousin up, dabbing at her cheeks with his shirtsleeve. Oh no, no no no no. He twisted around, halfway ready to struggle out of Donghae's grip, halfway understanding it was all that was keeping him together at that moment. "I can't do this, you walk with her- you've been waiting forever for this, right?"
"Right, but Kibum-"
"Well, if I climb the tree instead it's almost the same thing."
Donghae set the now empty can of soda down, twisting it into the dusty playground dirt as he lifted his other arm, cast waving overhead as he grinned, "That might not end so well, it's not like I can really catch you or anything."
Shrugging, Kibum got to his feet, hands pushing into his pockets as he squinted against the bright beams slipping down through the leafy canopy of the tree, puddles of late afternoon sunlight rippling around them with each hot breeze that swept past. "I'm not worried."
"She's going to kill us."
"Us?"
"No, you're right," Donghae amended, "She's going to kill you, I'll probably make it until the first grandchild. Anyway, the point is, if you don't walk with her it doesn't mean she won't go down the aisle, just that you'll be breaking her heart before she does. And you might die. Okay, it's very likely that you'll die."
Kibum let his forehead fall to Donghae's shoulder, exhaling heavily, trying not to wonder how one of the most seemingly unstable people in his life could simultaneously be his most steadfast source of strength. "How do you know it's going to be okay?"
"Um... I really don't." Donghae laughed, rubbing at Kibum's biceps, cheek pressed to the crown of his head as he sighed, "Most of this is just in good faith."
"You know, this is kind of like the time I jumped out of that tree after you broke your arm."
Donghae groaned and pinched Kibum's arm, "You really don't have to keep bringing that up. And I made no promises, in fact, I'm pretty sure I told you I wasn't going to catch you."
Straightening, Kibum snorted, "Right. One sprained ankle and a broken collarbone later and you're telling me I should trust you now?"
Casted arm cradled to his chest, Donghae poked his tongue through the space left by a missing baby tooth, "What could go wrong?"
"I guess." Kibum had been a lot more sure of this when his feet were still on the ground.
Donghae's shoulder knocked into his, their fingers tangled together as they stepped over the threshold and into the cool, shadowed interior of the church vestibule. The hand in his was the only thing that had him stepping towards the door to their left, Donghae's knuckles rapping against the wood softly. Kibum hadn't realised he'd been squeezing the feeling out of Donghae's fingers until he turned to him, eyebrows raised, "I'm not going anywhere."
"Promise?" Kibum called down, tree bark scratching his arms raw as he clung to the branch.
"I'm right here, aren't I?"
His first step had felt weightless for just a moment, and it did hurt, a lot. But even through that, Donghae was right where he'd said he'd be, and that made it all bearable.
A/N II: yeah I'm not even sure. I've always wanted to try something like this, but I had absolutely no idea how difficult it would be to write. In other news, I have worked out my computer issues and am fortunate enough to be able to cancel my super brief hiatus \o//// Er, sorry if the ten month thing got your hopes up for longer fic, it's just that this took a million years just to draft /slowpoke The working title of this was At Last but idk by the end of it, that title no longer made sense >.>; idk why I'm telling you this rofl Am inexcusably late as usual with comments but you can't know how much your responses mean to me and I promise to respond asap ♥
Fandom: Super Junior
Rating: PG13
Pairing: Kihae
Summary: Kibum takes a leap of faith
A/N: first of all, definite TWT label getting slapped on this fic. After that, inestimable thanks to all the people that have helped me pick this apart and piece it back together over the past ten months, especially bittersnow (without whom this fic would have neither direction nor an actual ending >.>;), blahnicity and thundersquall (they've probably memorised this line for line with how many times I've run to them screaming and generally in hysterics ♥)
"If I fall," Donghae called, eyes on the ground, looking a lot farther down than it had when he'd first started climbing the tree, "You think you could catch me?"
Kibum stood at the trunk, the soles of his sneakers bending over an uplifted root. He crossed his arms, staring skyward, eyes on something past Donghae. After a moment of thought he gave his answer, voice almost too quiet to hear from where Donghae sat, clinging to a branch, "I'll try."
Donghae nodded decisively, flexing his fingers as he reached for the branch above him, breath stuck deep in his chest as he prepared to lift his bare feet from the stability below him, "Here goes,"
"Nothing!" Kibum laughed right next to his ear; the sound fluttered through him, and Donghae wondered if it would look weird if he stuck his finger in his ear to try and dislodge the sensation, "Just- remember when you broke your arm?"
Donghae hummed, swinging his legs from where he was seated at the edge of the dock, toes skimming the surface of the water. Of course he remembered, it hurt like hell. Kibum leaned his head on Donghae's shoulder, fingertip tracing the lip of the bottle he held between his legs. Once they'd gotten past the burn, it wasn't so bad, went down kind of easy. Maybe they'd had a bit too much, but Donghae thought it was kind of nice to see Kibum this relaxed. Even if he knew Kibum's father would skin them alive when he found out, because he always found out.
"I felt bad," he smiled, lifting his head and looking into Donghae's eyes, expression softened by the late August sun sinking into the water in front of them, "but it was too ridiculous, I had to laugh."
"You promised," Donghae breathed, leaning closer only half-unconsciously, "You said you'd catch me, and you didn't."
Kibum dropped his hand from the mouth of the bottle, laying it instead over Donghae's long healed forearm as he crossed the last couple inches that lay between them, "I said I'd try,"
"But you didn't, not really." he turned away from Kibum, spinning the dial to stop at random numbers, because all of the sudden he couldn't remember his locker combination. Donghae could feel him staring at the back of his blazer, the same one the academy had issued Kibum at the start of their senior year. He stopped turning the dial, fingers splayed limply over it as he leaned his forehead against the cool metal door; five months was too little time for so much to have changed.
"Look at me," Kibum demanded, a jagged edge of desperation in his voice, "I did try. But it doesn't matter, she- it's over."
He knew if he turned around Kibum would be glancing up and down the hallway to see if anyone had noticed him losing his composure. He didn't have to worry, there were tones in Kibum's voice that most of the time, Donghae was sure only he could hear. "She's probably wondering what I've done to you this time." he sighed, speaking into the aluminium, "You should go."
A hand dropped to his shoulder, turning him, gently. He let himself be pushed around, but stared holes into mismatched floor tiles as a weak consolation to whatever pride he had left, Kibum continued, "Donghae, she's not waiting for me. We -"
"Don't!" Donghae choked, everything he'd never said rising up in his throat, strangling him. He swallowed, the harsher words scraping his throat raw as he pushed them back, "I liked her too, you know. I really did, and I thought you knew," his voice was hoarse, breaking as he reached out to grip Kibum's free hand tightly in his own.
"You- what?" Kibum's heart lurched and he tried to tell himself it wasn't for all the wrong reasons, but the thought still rang out in his mind, echoing viciously, Donghae liked her too?
Donghae shook his head in what looked a lot like disbelief, a bittersweet smile surfacing as he spoke, "But Kibum, I liked you more."
He opened his mouth, but no words would come out, he just stared and tried to make sense of what he'd just heard, "Could you repeat that?"
"Weren't you listening? Please, Kibum?!" Donghae pleaded, arms wrapped around his shoulders, thighs on either side of his waist.
Donghae had tackled him as soon as he'd gotten through the door, like literally tackled, and started babbling about an audition for a music video and how he really needed this shot because he was just so so close to making it and the more exposure the better, but that was not the part Kibum was having trouble with. He frowned, shoving Donghae off of him, "Okay, so I did hear that right. Answer's still no, you're not taking my car."
"But if I don't get this part, I could die!" Kibum got to his feet and watched, more amused than he'd probably admit, as Donghae rolled around on the floor acting out a slow end. He finished writhing in the throes of death with a hissed exhale, falling limp. It only lasted for about four or five seconds, which was pretty much the maximum amount of time Donghae was able to be still for, before he cracked an eye open, voice solemn, "You wouldn't want that on your shoulders, would you?"
Kibum stepped gently on his stomach, leaning over to consider the folded hands Donghae had raised to him as he wriggled around with whispering a litany of pleasepleasepleaseplease like each one could be the straw to break Kibum's will.
He smiled, sweetly, removing his foot from Donghae's solar plexus, "Sorry, still no. I'll get you a nice headstone though, don't worry."
It was his plan to leave Donghae to a tantrum in the front hall while he rummaged through his fridge for something to eat, but when he tried to step away, Donghae had both arms wound tight around his legs, "Kibum. I promise I will do all of your laundry and type your organic chem labs and go to those boring research trials with you and get you those cookies you like from the co-op and replace the strings on your guitar and cook dinner every night and- and I'll even bottom for the rest of the forseeable future, please. Let me take your car,"
"I don't need you to wash my clothes, I'd fail that class if you got anywhere near my labs, those trials are not boring, I can get cookies myself, keep your hands away from my guitar and all kitchen utensils and... uh- well, it's not like you top that often anyway," Kibum tried to ignore the sting of color in his cheeks as he reached down to pry Donghae off of him. But he only ended up getting one leg free which left him unbalanced and then on his ass with Donghae climbing over him. He tried to work his way out of the deathgrip, but Donghae simply pushed him onto his back, planting messy kisses with rushed words in between, "I'll never ask for anything ever again!"
Kibum raised an eyebrow in response and Donghae grinned, fingers skimming over Kibum's beltbuckle, "Unless, you know, you want me to."
His hips twitched into Donghae's hand as he started to palm him through his jeans, batting his eyelashes, tongue slicking pink over his bottom lip, "Please?"
Groaning, Kibum grabbed him by the collar and dragged him into a kiss, mumbling, "Fine."
"Really?! Kibum, you're the best! When I get famous, I'll totally give you an autograph!" He jumped up from Kibum, and started dancing down the hall and into the kitchen.
Kibum was left half hard and very frustrated. He levered himself up from the floor and trailed behind Donghae intent on settling the terms of the deal, sexual favors topping the list. In the kitchen, Donghae was moonwalking across the linoleum, hips rolling as he came to a stop and changed direction smoothly. Kibum watched him continue his victory celebration, the corners of his mouth hinting at a smile, "You're pretty good at that,"
"Very good, actually." Donghae winked and stood up, licking his lips clean, "Or was all that moaning and begging just for show?"
Kibum cuffed him and Donghae squawked clutching the side of his head, "That hurt! I blow you and you beat me?!"
"I'm not beating you," Kibum contradicted, voice still rough, "I wouldn't want to knock loose whatever brains you have left." he grinned, zipping up his fly before someone could walk into the recording booth and catch them. Again.
Donghae scoffed, "See if you get an autograph now!"
"Yeah, because you don't already give me ten more for each of your albums, not to mention an additional five for every music video release."
"It's not like you keep them anyway, right?" Donghae shrugged, leaning against Kibum's chest, dragging his arms to wrap around his waist. He waited about two breaths for Kibum's retort, pulling back to eye him when there was still nothing after five, "Right, Kibum?"
Kibum sighed and dragged Donghae back against him, hoping the contact would distract Donghae long enough for him to come up with a decent cover story.
But Donghae just wound his arms tightly around Kibum, squeezing the air out of him until Kibum was forced to push him off or pass out. Donghae simply grinned at him, excited to have stumbled upon this gem of information, "So, where do you keep them, in your underwear drawer, under the bed?"
"Under the bed, really?" Kibum rolled his eyes in exasperation.
"Yes," Donghae answered solemnly from the middle of the bed, two smaller figures curled into him, "Heejoon's sure of it, right?" he contined, nudging the boy at his left.
Heejoon lifted his head from Donghae's stomach, eyes wide, "It's true. There are aliens under the bed!"
A high-pitched wail sounded from beneath a small mountain of blankets on Donghae's opposite side; Kibum crossed the room swiftly, digging under the covers to scoop up Eunjeong. He patted her back consolingly as she buried her face in his neck, smearing tears into his collar while hiccuping, "I don't w-want aliens to be real!"
He glared at Donghae who smiled back, completely guiltless. Kibum sighed and unclipped his security badge from his shirt pocket, setting it down on the bedside table before climbing into the already overcrowded bed. After settling Eunjeong in his lap, he turned to face Donghae, "I go to the lab for less than five hours and you manage to convince them that not only do aliens exist, but that they are also under our bed?"
The girl in his lap started crying harder, Donghae shrugged and pulled Eunjeong from Kibum to rock her, shushing her gently before explaining, "I just said that the universe is much bigger than we can imagine and it's not completely unreasonable to- Okay, Heejoon's the one who said they were under the bed."
Kibum decided that tonight he would forego the Surprise! You're an Adult lecture and skip straight to Please Don't Mentally Scar the Children While I'm Working. At first, Donghae started off nodding to assure Kibum that yes, he was definitely listening. But then his attention began to drift and he started humming under his breath, eyes on the sleepy flutter of Eunjeong's lashes. By the time Kibum got to Ways to Avoid Landing Our Children in Therapy, Donghae had started singing a lullaby and Eunjeong was fast asleep in his arms, Heejoon not far behind.
"See? No harm done!" he smiled, patting his leg.
Kibum sighed, half-hating the way Donghae always managed to make him feel completely at odds with any kind of logic, "Donghae, he's- how can you just say yes like that! Why didn't you talk to me first?"
"Because you would have said no," Donghae answered, speaking slowly, like he wasn't sure why Kibum hadn't come to that conclusion on his own. He minimized the half-finished spreadsheet for his dance company's yearly budget and dropped his calculator onto the questionably organized chaos of his desk. Pushing the rolling chair back, he allowed himself a slow spin before scooting close enough to cant his head against Kibum's hip.
"Of course I would have said no. She's too young, and he's too- too not good enough." Kibum stared at the carpet, a backdrop for all the little moments filtering through his mind, the rush of pride he felt watching her walk at two graduations, his near death experiences while teaching her to drive, the patch of floor Donghae wore down when she was late coming back from her first date, the extra batteries he brought to her endless practices and recitals, her smile beautiful even before braces, carrying her and her brother to bed when they fell asleep between them on the couch, teaching her to tie her shoes, wincing during her vaccination appointments, her first steps, her first words, the scar on the back of his hand from burning himself while making a bottle at 3am, the first time he saw her after so many nights spent worrying whether or not they'd actually get to keep the little baby girl in the picture. And now this punk was trying to take her away.
He didn't look up at the sound of the chair squeaking, didn't react past a deep breath in when he felt the familiar heat of Donghae pressed against his back. He raised his hand to his eyes, rubbing at an itch he didn't quite feel.
"Kibum, you wouldn't be acting like this if it were Heejoon." Donghae pushed a kiss over the nape of his neck, smoothing a hand over his cheek, "Besides, she's 24 and he's a nice kid. You know he is, you used to like him, remember?"
Kibum shook his head, "That was before. Now- now I hate him. I hate him and he's not marrying her because- because- how could you just say yes like that?" he groaned, leaning his head back against Donghae's shoulder.
"Oh come on. You love him, and if you love her, you'll let them get married."
Kibum could hear the laugh in his voice and it only frustrated him more, because Donghae was right; he was something to laugh at, throwing a tantrum over his (only) daughter's impending marriage. He sent up a silent wish for faith like Donghae's, because it seemed like a bit much to ask for his rationality.
He turned around to face Donghae, pushing their foreheads together, "Actually, I'm pretty sure you're the problem here."
"No," Donghae smiled as easy as ever, "You love me too."
"I know, but still."
"Don't worry, it'll get better." Donghae flexed the fingers showing from where his cast crossed his hand, a frown on his face that Kibum wasn't used to seeing.
He pulled the tab of the sodacan back, handing it to Donghae who received it with his good hand. He waited until Donghae had his first sip before responding, "I'm really sorry."
"Don't be, it doesn't even hurt anymore." Donghae licked at the soda stuck in the rim, shrugging. He downed another mouthful, passing it back to Kibum before reflexively lifting his arm and accidentally wiping his mouth against the rough plaster wrapped around his wrist. He mumbled as he switched arms, "Keep forgetting."
"Well when it does get better, you can try to climb that tree again, and this time I promise I really will catch you, okay?" He didn't look up for Donghae's reaction, because he wasn't really sure he wanted to see Donghae as upset as he'd been the day Kibum broke his promise. For Kibum, quiet and withdrawn at six years old, losing your best friend was the most terrifying thing he could think of. Even seeing Donghae's arm bent the wrong way didn't scare him as much as the thought of Donghae turning away from him.
"My mom said, from now on, I'm not allowed to climb anything taller than I am."
"Do you always do what she tells you to?" Kibum scowled, sticking two fingers between his tie and his neck, trying to get a little more breathing room. He'd probably scuffed his dress shoes having spent the better part of the morning pacing the parking lot as guests filed past and into the church.
Donghae's eyes widened and he laughed, slapping Kibum's hand away and adjusting the knot in his tie, "Well I'm not the one who bought her a three floor dollhouse with a functioning elevator and pool because she made that face she makes and I just can't say no~"
"And who taught her to make that face!"
"I did." Unrepentant, Donghae grabbed him by the shoulders and shoved Kibum towards the doors of the church where Heejoon was waving frantically at them with his youngest cousin, the terrified flower girl, clinging to his leg and sobbing.
Kibum's chest constricted at the sight, thinking not so long ago he'd stood utterly helpless and mostly useless any time his kids showed the slightest sign of upset and now he was about to marry his daughter off when he was just starting to get things figured out (No, daddy, I do not like pickles on my sandwich). He stopped short as Heejoon bent over and swept his cousin up, dabbing at her cheeks with his shirtsleeve. Oh no, no no no no. He twisted around, halfway ready to struggle out of Donghae's grip, halfway understanding it was all that was keeping him together at that moment. "I can't do this, you walk with her- you've been waiting forever for this, right?"
"Right, but Kibum-"
"Well, if I climb the tree instead it's almost the same thing."
Donghae set the now empty can of soda down, twisting it into the dusty playground dirt as he lifted his other arm, cast waving overhead as he grinned, "That might not end so well, it's not like I can really catch you or anything."
Shrugging, Kibum got to his feet, hands pushing into his pockets as he squinted against the bright beams slipping down through the leafy canopy of the tree, puddles of late afternoon sunlight rippling around them with each hot breeze that swept past. "I'm not worried."
"She's going to kill us."
"Us?"
"No, you're right," Donghae amended, "She's going to kill you, I'll probably make it until the first grandchild. Anyway, the point is, if you don't walk with her it doesn't mean she won't go down the aisle, just that you'll be breaking her heart before she does. And you might die. Okay, it's very likely that you'll die."
Kibum let his forehead fall to Donghae's shoulder, exhaling heavily, trying not to wonder how one of the most seemingly unstable people in his life could simultaneously be his most steadfast source of strength. "How do you know it's going to be okay?"
"Um... I really don't." Donghae laughed, rubbing at Kibum's biceps, cheek pressed to the crown of his head as he sighed, "Most of this is just in good faith."
"You know, this is kind of like the time I jumped out of that tree after you broke your arm."
Donghae groaned and pinched Kibum's arm, "You really don't have to keep bringing that up. And I made no promises, in fact, I'm pretty sure I told you I wasn't going to catch you."
Straightening, Kibum snorted, "Right. One sprained ankle and a broken collarbone later and you're telling me I should trust you now?"
Casted arm cradled to his chest, Donghae poked his tongue through the space left by a missing baby tooth, "What could go wrong?"
"I guess." Kibum had been a lot more sure of this when his feet were still on the ground.
Donghae's shoulder knocked into his, their fingers tangled together as they stepped over the threshold and into the cool, shadowed interior of the church vestibule. The hand in his was the only thing that had him stepping towards the door to their left, Donghae's knuckles rapping against the wood softly. Kibum hadn't realised he'd been squeezing the feeling out of Donghae's fingers until he turned to him, eyebrows raised, "I'm not going anywhere."
"Promise?" Kibum called down, tree bark scratching his arms raw as he clung to the branch.
"I'm right here, aren't I?"
His first step had felt weightless for just a moment, and it did hurt, a lot. But even through that, Donghae was right where he'd said he'd be, and that made it all bearable.
A/N II: yeah I'm not even sure. I've always wanted to try something like this, but I had absolutely no idea how difficult it would be to write. In other news, I have worked out my computer issues and am fortunate enough to be able to cancel my super brief hiatus \o//// Er, sorry if the ten month thing got your hopes up for longer fic, it's just that this took a million years just to draft /slowpoke The working title of this was At Last but idk by the end of it, that title no longer made sense >.>; idk why I'm telling you this rofl Am inexcusably late as usual with comments but you can't know how much your responses mean to me and I promise to respond asap ♥