Dang
Nothing like not writing in this thing for a little over a year.
WELL. This year has sucked a lot but also ended up not quite as bad as it could have been. But it's definitely gonna go down as one of the hardest years I've had in a long time.
It all started in April. My mom called me one night right around this time to tell me that she had heard my dad fall and had found him not responding at all, called 911 and was being rushed to the hospital. At first they thought it may be a bleeding ulcer and he passed out from loss of blood. They did that test and it came back normal so then they did a colonoscopy and it ended up being colon cancer. They found a tumor in my dads colon that he needed surgery to get rid of. Which they did. Took out part of his bowel during it.
The part of this that was kind of good but also really depressing was that we were able to get him into a nursing home type place. My mom had been trying to get him in one for the better part of the year before this happened. He has some kind of dementia or alzheimers which does run in his family and my mom needed help. All she did was go to work and come home and take care of him which was not fair to her at all and my dad needed to be somewhere where professionals could take care of him. He finally got in there after a couple months of a lot of back and forth. The hospital just wanted him out of the hospital so they kept sending him to places that weren't right for him which of course didn't work out and just got him sent back. They treated him like shit for the last few weeks he was in there but he seems to be pretty happy at the place he's at now. It just sucks that its an hour and a half away from here. Still really depressing to see him in there though. My mom is always trying to get me to call more and I probably should but it just makes me really sad that he's gonna be there for the rest of his life.
Then at the end of June, my sister and her boyfriend broke up and let me tell you: this is something I NEVER EVER thought would happen. EVER. Like in November last year for his birthday we all went out and my sister and i drunkenly discussed which of my dads asshole relatives we wouldn't invite to their wedding and about what I would say during my maid of honor speech.
The horrible thing about it lifewise besides my sister getting her heart ripped out of her chest was that we had just moved into a new place 2 months earlier that was almost 1300 a month. There is absolutely no way my sister and I could ever afford that by ourselves so we ended up moving out and moving into my moms one bedroom apartment where we are right now. It's kind of a mixed blessing. I think being here has helped Cassie a lot dealing with the breakup over the last few months. Her ex started dating some other bitch who is a lot uglier version of Cassie a month after they broke up which makes me want to run him over with my car, but yeah lol we basically sit in the living room and watch TV shows after work together. I think having someone around most of the time definitely is helping.
The other part that is nice too is that we don't have any bills anymore. We're not paying for rent, electric/heat or cable anymore which saves a lot of money. So for example on the hanson trip we just went on we could afford to get a much nicer hotel literally 50 feet away from the venue that we couldn't really do before and could go to Cleveland the next week and not worry about much of a budget. I think my mom really likes having us around more and all that too.
Quite honestly between those two things this year would be a big swirling vortex of depression if it wasn't for Hanson having a new CD and going on tour. It's kind of amazing how much they affect me and Cass still after all these years but they just do. They announced their tour dates back in April so for six months we had those to keep working towards and to focus on. Honestly my Pick N Save job is completely unbearable now. The manager is an idiot, the morning people do whatever the hell they want and blame everything on us, I'll be working there 1-9 for the rest of my life it seems and the only reason I didn't just up and quit there earlier was because I wanted the extra money for tour. Now that finished one week ago I'm having a really hard time spending all weekend every weekend there wasting my life. But before the Hanson stuff happened, I could deal.
But they have been a stellar distraction. Plus with them comes hanging out with Pat and Suzy, our Hanson best friends and basically just life best friends as well. We're hoping to be able to meet up in Chicago in January sometime and hang out. Not seeing them again until May is just not something I am okay with, or Cass.
Plus during all of this I have anxiety over my job situations. I am so sick of going to Pick N Save and wasting my life there. I've tried getting other part time jobs but they usually want someone with an open schedule so they don't hire me. So now that Hanson is done I'm back to looking for a full time job. (didn't really make sense to look when I had off 2 weekends in a row for Hanson tour). Hopefully I find one soon because honestly going there every weekend makes me so depressed. I feel like I've done nothing in my life because I still end up back there being completely miserable. I never get to see my best friends because I have to go to a job I hate and there's not much worse than that. Plus I don't have any benefits. I just want a nice full time job with weekends and holidays off that makes a little bit more than I do now where I can truly start a career. I hope I can finally get that.
WELL. This year has sucked a lot but also ended up not quite as bad as it could have been. But it's definitely gonna go down as one of the hardest years I've had in a long time.
It all started in April. My mom called me one night right around this time to tell me that she had heard my dad fall and had found him not responding at all, called 911 and was being rushed to the hospital. At first they thought it may be a bleeding ulcer and he passed out from loss of blood. They did that test and it came back normal so then they did a colonoscopy and it ended up being colon cancer. They found a tumor in my dads colon that he needed surgery to get rid of. Which they did. Took out part of his bowel during it.
The part of this that was kind of good but also really depressing was that we were able to get him into a nursing home type place. My mom had been trying to get him in one for the better part of the year before this happened. He has some kind of dementia or alzheimers which does run in his family and my mom needed help. All she did was go to work and come home and take care of him which was not fair to her at all and my dad needed to be somewhere where professionals could take care of him. He finally got in there after a couple months of a lot of back and forth. The hospital just wanted him out of the hospital so they kept sending him to places that weren't right for him which of course didn't work out and just got him sent back. They treated him like shit for the last few weeks he was in there but he seems to be pretty happy at the place he's at now. It just sucks that its an hour and a half away from here. Still really depressing to see him in there though. My mom is always trying to get me to call more and I probably should but it just makes me really sad that he's gonna be there for the rest of his life.
Then at the end of June, my sister and her boyfriend broke up and let me tell you: this is something I NEVER EVER thought would happen. EVER. Like in November last year for his birthday we all went out and my sister and i drunkenly discussed which of my dads asshole relatives we wouldn't invite to their wedding and about what I would say during my maid of honor speech.
The horrible thing about it lifewise besides my sister getting her heart ripped out of her chest was that we had just moved into a new place 2 months earlier that was almost 1300 a month. There is absolutely no way my sister and I could ever afford that by ourselves so we ended up moving out and moving into my moms one bedroom apartment where we are right now. It's kind of a mixed blessing. I think being here has helped Cassie a lot dealing with the breakup over the last few months. Her ex started dating some other bitch who is a lot uglier version of Cassie a month after they broke up which makes me want to run him over with my car, but yeah lol we basically sit in the living room and watch TV shows after work together. I think having someone around most of the time definitely is helping.
The other part that is nice too is that we don't have any bills anymore. We're not paying for rent, electric/heat or cable anymore which saves a lot of money. So for example on the hanson trip we just went on we could afford to get a much nicer hotel literally 50 feet away from the venue that we couldn't really do before and could go to Cleveland the next week and not worry about much of a budget. I think my mom really likes having us around more and all that too.
Quite honestly between those two things this year would be a big swirling vortex of depression if it wasn't for Hanson having a new CD and going on tour. It's kind of amazing how much they affect me and Cass still after all these years but they just do. They announced their tour dates back in April so for six months we had those to keep working towards and to focus on. Honestly my Pick N Save job is completely unbearable now. The manager is an idiot, the morning people do whatever the hell they want and blame everything on us, I'll be working there 1-9 for the rest of my life it seems and the only reason I didn't just up and quit there earlier was because I wanted the extra money for tour. Now that finished one week ago I'm having a really hard time spending all weekend every weekend there wasting my life. But before the Hanson stuff happened, I could deal.
But they have been a stellar distraction. Plus with them comes hanging out with Pat and Suzy, our Hanson best friends and basically just life best friends as well. We're hoping to be able to meet up in Chicago in January sometime and hang out. Not seeing them again until May is just not something I am okay with, or Cass.
Plus during all of this I have anxiety over my job situations. I am so sick of going to Pick N Save and wasting my life there. I've tried getting other part time jobs but they usually want someone with an open schedule so they don't hire me. So now that Hanson is done I'm back to looking for a full time job. (didn't really make sense to look when I had off 2 weekends in a row for Hanson tour). Hopefully I find one soon because honestly going there every weekend makes me so depressed. I feel like I've done nothing in my life because I still end up back there being completely miserable. I never get to see my best friends because I have to go to a job I hate and there's not much worse than that. Plus I don't have any benefits. I just want a nice full time job with weekends and holidays off that makes a little bit more than I do now where I can truly start a career. I hope I can finally get that.