(no subject)
so i am a stupid, stupid girl....i read through really old entries and came upon messages from matt. telling me how much he loves me and always will, and how he will always be there for me. i miss him more than words can say, and i know my entries are angry, but im hurt and confused. i just loved him so much, and still do. and he used to feel the same way too. i wish more than i anything that things had turned out differently. i wish i had never called him to say hi on the 22nd of april, bc then we wouldnt be where we are. i was willing to give him all the time he needed to decide what to do. i miss everything so much right now and im down again bc i was stupid enough to read stuff from our past. it hurts every day not having him in my life. i mis having him as my best friend in the whole world. i miss doing absolutely nothing with him. i miss waking up in the morning with him. i miss the long phone convos and him holding me. he was the best thing that ever happened to me and i miss him so much. i hurt every day inside knowing he doesnt think about me and the fact that he has moved on from me, probably a long long time ago. i dont think i'll ever be able to get over him, bc matt was everything to me, i guess i just wasnt to him. god i miss matt, and i still love him too, this is so hard.