the fantasy of being thin
ok, so this is kind of an old post from shapely prose, but i only just read it, and it's pretty much brilliant:
the Fantasy of Being Thin is not just about becoming small enough to be perceived as more acceptable. It is about becoming an entirely different person - one with far more courage, confidence, and luck than the fat you has. It’s not just, “When I’m thin, I’ll look good in a bathing suit”; it’s “When I’m thin, I will be the kind of person who struts down the beach in a bikini, making men weep.
...
Overcoming The Fantasy of Being Thin might be the hardest part of making it all the way into fat acceptance-land. And that might just be why I’d pushed that part of the process out of my memory: it fucking sucked. Because I didn’t just have to accept the size of my thighs; I had to accept who I am, rather than continuing to wait until I magically became the person I’d always imagined being. Ouch.
yep.
yep yep and yep.
interestingly, while i almost never have the 'if i were thin...' stuff any more (thank god), there's still part of me that occasionally relapses into the fantasy of "becoming an entirely different person - one with far more courage, confidence, and luck". i find it's particularly acute post break-up. actually, it's pretty much only ever present post break-up, coz really, the rest of my life is pretty much either awesome or on track to be awesome.
also interestingly, most of my magical thinking is around consumerism - when i get the right clothes/shoes/accessories, or set my flat up just right, or own the right gadgets, or have the right experiences, that will somehow complete this lacking part of me and i'll become wonderful and worthy of love.
bullshit to that.
the Fantasy of Being Thin is not just about becoming small enough to be perceived as more acceptable. It is about becoming an entirely different person - one with far more courage, confidence, and luck than the fat you has. It’s not just, “When I’m thin, I’ll look good in a bathing suit”; it’s “When I’m thin, I will be the kind of person who struts down the beach in a bikini, making men weep.
...
Overcoming The Fantasy of Being Thin might be the hardest part of making it all the way into fat acceptance-land. And that might just be why I’d pushed that part of the process out of my memory: it fucking sucked. Because I didn’t just have to accept the size of my thighs; I had to accept who I am, rather than continuing to wait until I magically became the person I’d always imagined being. Ouch.
yep.
yep yep and yep.
interestingly, while i almost never have the 'if i were thin...' stuff any more (thank god), there's still part of me that occasionally relapses into the fantasy of "becoming an entirely different person - one with far more courage, confidence, and luck". i find it's particularly acute post break-up. actually, it's pretty much only ever present post break-up, coz really, the rest of my life is pretty much either awesome or on track to be awesome.
also interestingly, most of my magical thinking is around consumerism - when i get the right clothes/shoes/accessories, or set my flat up just right, or own the right gadgets, or have the right experiences, that will somehow complete this lacking part of me and i'll become wonderful and worthy of love.
bullshit to that.