The only post
How it works1. Post prompts (in the form of a pairing/moresome and a kink) as new comment threads. Please try to write a fic or leave a decent amount of feedback before you post a prompt, to keep things balanced overall
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“Well, yeah, but I wasn’t expecting a technical demonstration in the middle of my living room!”
“Come on, you’re a doctor! You must be used to all sort of gross natural processes.”
“In people! Not-not-”
“If it bothers you that much,” drawled the Master from Martha’s couch, “the Doctor and I would be perfectly happy to go have disgusting slimy alien sex in the TARDIS. Or in the 19th century.”
“Alright.” Martha sat down in an armchair with her hands on her knees. “Do you want music or mood lighting or anything?”
“No, no. If you turned the lights out you wouldn’t be able to see anything. Well, not until the end, because that bit glows in the dark which is really cool, but not much help when you share a room at school. But I did bring this.” The Doctor pulled a small perfume bottle from inside his jacket and sprayed a couple spurts.
“What was that?”
“Pheromone.”
“Now my entire apartment is going to smell like…watermelon bubblegum? You can’t be serious. I chewed that stuff all the time when I was in the TARDIS and you never said-”
“Moving on then.” The Doctor dropped his trousers. Martha stared. Then she stared some more. “Testes size is proportionate to fidelity of the females and relative competition from other males. That’s why they’re so abnormally large in humans.”
“Abnormally?”
“Yeah. On quite a few planets a folk medicine cure for impotence is ground up…um. Anyway, the part that you’d probably be most interested in is the, well, the, er, the phalloid organ.”
“You mean your dick.”
“Er, yeah.”
“It’s all bumpy.”
“Space herpes,” said the Master, helpfully.
Martha’s eyebrows shot up.
“It is not space herpes! Just wait a minute and I’ll show you.” He nodded at the Master, who moved along the couch until he was sitting facing the Doctor. He took the Doctor’s non-space-herpes-infected cock in one hand and stroked it with a finger.
The first thing that happened was that it grew, which Martha had been expecting. The second thing that happened was that the bumps grew into thin spikes. It looked like a snail extending its eyestalks, if a snail had a couple dozen eyes.
The Master puckered his lips and blew a thin stream of air across the spikes, which caused them to perk up quite a bit. The Doctor made an inarticulate noise.
“It looks like that hallucigenia thing,” said Martha, who knew about all sorts of cool biology stuff.
“Most Earth animals from the Cambrian look like Gallifreyan reproductive bits. It’s what originally attracted me to this planet when I was a lad.”
“But doesn’t that hurt your women?”
“They’re not sharp. It’s more like a bit of cartilage surrounded in flesh. The spikes stimulate the walls of the, um-”
“Tiemvaj.”
“Right, Master. Anyway, the stimulation is what causes the female to release an egg. And, well, the rest is more or lest what you’re used to.”
Martha’s eyes glazed over as she thought about this. So she didn’t notice the Master unbuttoning his trousers until the Doctor said,
“Right, then! Lesson number two.”
“What?" squeaked Martha. "You two? But you’re both male. Right? I mean, not that there’s anything wrong with that, but-”
“Unfortunately, somebody killed off all the females.”
“So you two are going to have sex on my couch?” squeaked Martha, who was not entirely sure whether this was a bad thing, and that uncertainty bothered her only a little.
“Would you rather we did this in your bedroom?"
“No. I mean, yes. I mean, let me get the video camera." She scurried of to get it.
"You are NOT putting this on Youtube, Martha Jones!"
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