(no subject)
In case you didn't know, my brother has been in and out of ICU with prancrititus(or whatever the fuck) since he turned 30 on April 2nd. Its been so touch and go and its the worst case of the situation most folks have ever seen and one day John is doing well and headed towards recovery and the next day he is dying again.
For awhile I didn't want to believe that his death was even option. I'm 21 and he is 30, I EXPECTED to lose my parents at some point, but could always count on my brothers being there. Now, I am faced the reality that more than likely I will soon only have 2 brothers instead of 3.
Ok, that sounds dramatic, but I am over dramatics. I am over crying and have started praying, instead. I am over listening to what bad news will come today, tomorrow, or even the news we got just yeaturday.
I am ready to hear something good, now.
Whta is fucked about this situation is that he brought him upon himself. Never ever mix perscription pain meds with alcohol. His pancrease was damamged tremendously by his addiction to methadone and oxycotton and his tendancies towards alcoholism. He can't breath on his own, drink, piss, shit, eat, and he can't sleep because the pain is so bad and his tolerance for pain meds is too high.
I mentioned how i began praying and this shit is crazy. I don't even know who I pray to, but I know I take every last speck of faith I have in me from southern baptist childhood and put it to good use, hopefully. I just don't know how i am going to get on or deal with this or anything.
For awhile I didn't want to believe that his death was even option. I'm 21 and he is 30, I EXPECTED to lose my parents at some point, but could always count on my brothers being there. Now, I am faced the reality that more than likely I will soon only have 2 brothers instead of 3.
Ok, that sounds dramatic, but I am over dramatics. I am over crying and have started praying, instead. I am over listening to what bad news will come today, tomorrow, or even the news we got just yeaturday.
I am ready to hear something good, now.
Whta is fucked about this situation is that he brought him upon himself. Never ever mix perscription pain meds with alcohol. His pancrease was damamged tremendously by his addiction to methadone and oxycotton and his tendancies towards alcoholism. He can't breath on his own, drink, piss, shit, eat, and he can't sleep because the pain is so bad and his tolerance for pain meds is too high.
I mentioned how i began praying and this shit is crazy. I don't even know who I pray to, but I know I take every last speck of faith I have in me from southern baptist childhood and put it to good use, hopefully. I just don't know how i am going to get on or deal with this or anything.