(no subject)
Dear Friends,
Two years ago would have been completely different than where I am now. So much changes, and you just have no idea where anything is going or why you've even come from where you've been. I can't believe or even acknowledge that life will always remain this ambiguous. It must be the adolescene and the hormones, because life should have some stability. Although the waking up and not knowing what happens next is equally valued, it makes for more confusing situations.
Ive gone back to the anxiety quiting method I learned. It worked real well last night. I almost fell asleep while doing it. This morning was alot harder because of lack of sleep but I definitely noticed the clarity.
I realized today that English might not be my thing. I see points but I dont see ideas. I want backup confirmed facts I want really good arguments, but you can't discuss whats not on the page. A human wrote these stories and you can't search for something that's not there. It's too frustrating whenever I see this in a class. And I hate the crackpot ideas some people make up. I want substantiated facts not post modernistic bs.
There's a macho feeling you get when you walk onto a basketball court. Everybody changes. It never ever really feels fun playing basketball. There's always some form of competitiion, and it's hard to get into that mood. I like the exercise I get from it, but thats about it. I try to play a strong defense too and that boosts my confidence but I dont really get anything from the offensive part of the game. I want to shoot more but I cant seem to drop anything I really need to clear my mind and come in with the right idea.
I wish I could talk more about what I am doing day by day but their is not enough time in the day. Instead i can only look back in retrospect and try to communicate general themes of my life.
When all is said and done I know you'll still be here.
Love Always,
Chris
Two years ago would have been completely different than where I am now. So much changes, and you just have no idea where anything is going or why you've even come from where you've been. I can't believe or even acknowledge that life will always remain this ambiguous. It must be the adolescene and the hormones, because life should have some stability. Although the waking up and not knowing what happens next is equally valued, it makes for more confusing situations.
Ive gone back to the anxiety quiting method I learned. It worked real well last night. I almost fell asleep while doing it. This morning was alot harder because of lack of sleep but I definitely noticed the clarity.
I realized today that English might not be my thing. I see points but I dont see ideas. I want backup confirmed facts I want really good arguments, but you can't discuss whats not on the page. A human wrote these stories and you can't search for something that's not there. It's too frustrating whenever I see this in a class. And I hate the crackpot ideas some people make up. I want substantiated facts not post modernistic bs.
There's a macho feeling you get when you walk onto a basketball court. Everybody changes. It never ever really feels fun playing basketball. There's always some form of competitiion, and it's hard to get into that mood. I like the exercise I get from it, but thats about it. I try to play a strong defense too and that boosts my confidence but I dont really get anything from the offensive part of the game. I want to shoot more but I cant seem to drop anything I really need to clear my mind and come in with the right idea.
I wish I could talk more about what I am doing day by day but their is not enough time in the day. Instead i can only look back in retrospect and try to communicate general themes of my life.
When all is said and done I know you'll still be here.
Love Always,
Chris