Horse shaped hole
Yesterday Louis was put down. He was the most amazing pony, kind and loyal, cheeky and fun. There is a pony shaped vacuum in our lives and it hurts so much. Those people he loved, he loved wholeheartedly. With others he was a git, refusing to walk in a straight line, biting in the stable, refusing to be caught. We were the favoured ones and he would follow me and M anywhere with complete faith that we would always keep him safe. He recognised the sound of our car when we arrived on the yard and made soft little whickering noises as we approached the stable, flaring his nostrils and trotting to the door to greet us. The pain is almost unbearable. My heart hurts physically, my belly feels empty and I can't stop the tears. Tomorrow we will go and clean out his stable when all the kids have left for the day. I can't wait to be in the stable alone.
He gave us his complete trust and I trusted him in return with the children. M could turn him on a sixpence and would gallop with him all the length of the common. They looked after each other; proper little partners in crime.
I'm caught in emotional limbo. I don't want to feel this way; completely dysfunctional but I want to wallow in it forever too. I vacillate between overwhelming grief and utter disbelief that he has gone.
He was better than one in a million.
He gave us his complete trust and I trusted him in return with the children. M could turn him on a sixpence and would gallop with him all the length of the common. They looked after each other; proper little partners in crime.
I'm caught in emotional limbo. I don't want to feel this way; completely dysfunctional but I want to wallow in it forever too. I vacillate between overwhelming grief and utter disbelief that he has gone.
He was better than one in a million.