Too much crack.
A crow that looked like it had been spat out of a dyeing chav's womb just landed on the outside wall of my flat. If this was pagan times it would be a very bad omen and I'd send word with the messenger boy to all my correspondence to check all was well, because obviously I was Lady of a specific landmark in another life, like a lake or a tower or Worsteshire. I wonder when they invented Worsteshire sauce and whether king arthur ever tried it. Anyway I did not like this crow and it startled me but I'm trying not to read too much into it.