May 24, 2007 02:07
"It's gotten late and now I want to be alone.
All of our friends were here. They all have gone home.
So I sit on the front porch, watching the drunks stumble forth into the night...
You gave me a heart attack, I did not see you there.
I thought you had disappeared, so early away from here.
This is the chance I never got, but we just sit and talk about
the people we have met in the past five years
and will we remember them in ten more?
I let you bum a smoke (you quit this winter past)
I've tried twice before, but like this, it just would not last..."
Are there even words to describe this? I don't know... it's utterly surreal.
In two months, I'll move out of the only house I've ever lived in. Away from my parents, away from my sister, away from the street where I have so many memories. I've spent the past 18 years of my life in this house... and now I'm moving out for good.
It is:
Horrifying
Exhilarating
Incredible
Unbelievable
and so much more. If you're reading this, then it means that I like you, and you probably made some impact on me these past four years. Regardless of what happens, I wish you a great summer, a great college experience, a great life.
Because...you only live once. Every breath you take brings you closer to death- not just in a general sense, but in a real, practical way. None of us know when our time will come to die. For most people, this is a terrifying thought... but for me, it's absolutely exhilarating. Make each day an adventure. Never settle for anything less than what you want. Never lower your standards, never back down, never waste your time on things that you consider unimportant or worthless. Fall in love with someone, think about your decision, plan your future, have children, watch them grown up and graduate and fall in love with someone and have children of their own.
I am so pumped about the future. I am excited about MTSU, about music, about spending the rest of my life learning to put music together, about the lessons I have learned and the lessons I have left to learn. I'm excited about Beethoven and ramen noodles and my fully functional car, about guitar and delay pedals and really excellent lead singers, I am excited about the greatest summer of all time and Louis Armstrong and really crisp, juicy apples: I am excited about punctuation, about polaroids, about really cold cream soda and Taco Bell with friends, I am excited about sweating until I dry up this summer, I am excited about riding my bike and records on vinyl and improv comedy and re-reading The Lord of the Rings.
Tonight changes everything. From the ashes of the old life, the new life rises, and the world is a better and more beautiful place because of it.
Thank you. God bless you. I love you. Take care of yourself. Carpe diem.