Blah
My life is boring and I really don't have anything interesting to say. but I am bored and feel like typing.. so I'll just type and see what comes out. It's weird because often when I am in bed attempting to fall asleep, I'll think of a bagillion things I want to write about.. and I'll actually recite it out in my head.. all journal style-like.. It's weird. I must have written hundreds of journal entries and poems in my head. But it's always when I'm in bed and semi conscious and too tired to write it all down.. and besides, I can't write as fast as I think anyways.. I feel like I have so much to say sometimes, but then I don't know .. When I'm sitting infront of the computer staring at a blank screen I just can't get out any sentences that have meaning.. But I write fookin spectacular journal entries in my head! I swear! I wish there was a way I could record my thoughts as they occur in my brain. It's weird.. I used to consider using a voice recorder to record my thoughts when I think weird things when semi asleep.. but I get weird stage fright or something and I get nervous when my voice is being recorded (I suck at leaving people messages on answering machines and I sucked when I had a radio show in college) so that idea wouldn't work. I do much better with stream of consiousness.. I miss writing. I feel like I lost some kind of skill I used to have 10 years ago.. I used to write tons of poetry. My writing and thought process used to be uninhibited.. I used to not get so nervous when writing. I didn;t used ot have teh brain fog. Maybe I lost too many brain cells the past few years or something. I don't know. Something happened. I used to be artistic.. Years ago. I used to create. I used to be so much more than I am now. I used to not think so much. I was a better person when I was less aware I think. I think
Sorry if this makes no sense. I never know what to say anymore. All I know is I miss some part of me that died and I don't know where to find her. *looks under the bed* Does anyone know what the fook I'm talkin about?
p.s. I am going to be 30 years old in less than a month and I still feel 16.. What teh fuck?
Sorry if this makes no sense. I never know what to say anymore. All I know is I miss some part of me that died and I don't know where to find her. *looks under the bed* Does anyone know what the fook I'm talkin about?
p.s. I am going to be 30 years old in less than a month and I still feel 16.. What teh fuck?