diediediedie
i guess im getting what i deserve.
im sorry for hurting you 2 weeks ago.
im going through what you were going through x10.
(only because i handle this situation much worse)
i have been doing nothing but crying.
staring at everything you sent/made me.
even though they are shred to pieces.
i carry that little black lace everywhere i go.
it will ALWAYS be with me.
tonight i am beautiful.
a mess, but beautiful.
if i do anything to myself, its not because of you.
you have been nothing but amazing to me...NOTHING but amazing.
its because i broke up with you that sunday...for no good reason at all...2 mornings ago i wanted to stick a knife through the left side of my chest....because if it werent for that sunday, i would be sleeping next to you with my arm around you. moving around to wake you up. and listen to you talk for hours and hours at night/morning (you liked to talk alot at that time while i listend)
youre so beautiful, i dont know what to say..
that day when you planned my whole birthday party, i realized how much i love you..and how youre one of a kind.
i havent had shit done for me since my 11th birthday untill nov 13th 2003.
after that day, i wanted to be with you forever and ever.
i was hoping you would get sick because of me so i could of take care of you make you soup like you made me that one night.
im sorry for ever hurt that i caused you.
im sorry that you cried countless hours at night because of me
the two months that i was with you, have SERIOUSLY been the best 2 months of my life.
im sorry for my mood swings.
todays mood swings were because i found out you like john.
i swear id take my life, just to see you one more time.
to lay on your moms $4,000 dollar couch i inked up, with you and watch some fucked up movie...and watch you almost fall asleep next to me when the movie finished.
i can go on forever and write a longer story then the lord of the rings on how much i love you, and everything that you are. i want to be as happy as i was when i was with you.
i guess thats the only way ill be happy.
nothing i said today i meant..i just hate being hurt.
even though i hurt you so much. i love you more then anything.
ill be here forever, call me whenever you want if anything goes wrong with anything, call me and ill be here.
yes i may be bitter somewhat, but i have my reasons. you liking another boy tears me apart. (but what goes around comes around right?)
i owe an apology to robert, for being an asshole.
which i just did.
the only reasons i say i never want to talk to you again is because i want you more then anything...but ill never have you again.
i want to sit here and write forever.
but not as much as i want to hear your voice, say "i love you more then anything..and i want you back"
i wish i can go back in time....and read that one comment you wrote me on my other journal johnritterdied. the one where you wrote 3 paragraphs on how you miss everything about me.
that was one of the happiest moments of my life...2nd to the first time i set eyes on you at the burbank airport.
i love it how its so much easier to be corny here..
im sorry for telling you i hurt myself.
haha woooow uhhhhhh everything i think and write here makes me cry sooo much more then i am..
i wonder if you still have those text messages that i sent you when i was in some weird state in some weird truckers dinner..."you might think im weird...but i love you already..and i havent met you yet"
or the time you first told me you had a crush on me...and i said "i dont mind....because i have a huge one on you."
i. love. you.
come back to me.
attractive, beauteous, comely, dishy, fair, foxy, good-looking, handsome, lovely, pretty, pulchritudinous, stunning, well-favored
all those words i got in the AOL thesaurus from the word beautiful mean nothing compared to what i think of you.
nothing has ever hurt this bad.
"there's a ghost in my bed. she cries in her sleep. she says i won't let her leave. i lie perfectly still as she stifles her tears. i don't want to disturb her. "let go, let go - please let me be. look at the ghost you've made of me". dush dropped her starry gown. i whispered out, "sweetie, are you here with me?". the mirror crashed on the dresser and she began to scream, "bloody murderer! let me rest in peace!". "when i was yours, you fled the scene, now you can't wash your hands of me." bloody murder. you can't hear the screams."
LJ-CUT you say?!
fuck you.
im sorry for hurting you 2 weeks ago.
im going through what you were going through x10.
(only because i handle this situation much worse)
i have been doing nothing but crying.
staring at everything you sent/made me.
even though they are shred to pieces.
i carry that little black lace everywhere i go.
it will ALWAYS be with me.
tonight i am beautiful.
a mess, but beautiful.
if i do anything to myself, its not because of you.
you have been nothing but amazing to me...NOTHING but amazing.
its because i broke up with you that sunday...for no good reason at all...2 mornings ago i wanted to stick a knife through the left side of my chest....because if it werent for that sunday, i would be sleeping next to you with my arm around you. moving around to wake you up. and listen to you talk for hours and hours at night/morning (you liked to talk alot at that time while i listend)
youre so beautiful, i dont know what to say..
that day when you planned my whole birthday party, i realized how much i love you..and how youre one of a kind.
i havent had shit done for me since my 11th birthday untill nov 13th 2003.
after that day, i wanted to be with you forever and ever.
i was hoping you would get sick because of me so i could of take care of you make you soup like you made me that one night.
im sorry for ever hurt that i caused you.
im sorry that you cried countless hours at night because of me
the two months that i was with you, have SERIOUSLY been the best 2 months of my life.
im sorry for my mood swings.
todays mood swings were because i found out you like john.
i swear id take my life, just to see you one more time.
to lay on your moms $4,000 dollar couch i inked up, with you and watch some fucked up movie...and watch you almost fall asleep next to me when the movie finished.
i can go on forever and write a longer story then the lord of the rings on how much i love you, and everything that you are. i want to be as happy as i was when i was with you.
i guess thats the only way ill be happy.
nothing i said today i meant..i just hate being hurt.
even though i hurt you so much. i love you more then anything.
ill be here forever, call me whenever you want if anything goes wrong with anything, call me and ill be here.
yes i may be bitter somewhat, but i have my reasons. you liking another boy tears me apart. (but what goes around comes around right?)
i owe an apology to robert, for being an asshole.
which i just did.
the only reasons i say i never want to talk to you again is because i want you more then anything...but ill never have you again.
i want to sit here and write forever.
but not as much as i want to hear your voice, say "i love you more then anything..and i want you back"
i wish i can go back in time....and read that one comment you wrote me on my other journal johnritterdied. the one where you wrote 3 paragraphs on how you miss everything about me.
that was one of the happiest moments of my life...2nd to the first time i set eyes on you at the burbank airport.
i love it how its so much easier to be corny here..
im sorry for telling you i hurt myself.
haha woooow uhhhhhh everything i think and write here makes me cry sooo much more then i am..
i wonder if you still have those text messages that i sent you when i was in some weird state in some weird truckers dinner..."you might think im weird...but i love you already..and i havent met you yet"
or the time you first told me you had a crush on me...and i said "i dont mind....because i have a huge one on you."
i. love. you.
come back to me.
attractive, beauteous, comely, dishy, fair, foxy, good-looking, handsome, lovely, pretty, pulchritudinous, stunning, well-favored
all those words i got in the AOL thesaurus from the word beautiful mean nothing compared to what i think of you.
nothing has ever hurt this bad.
"there's a ghost in my bed. she cries in her sleep. she says i won't let her leave. i lie perfectly still as she stifles her tears. i don't want to disturb her. "let go, let go - please let me be. look at the ghost you've made of me". dush dropped her starry gown. i whispered out, "sweetie, are you here with me?". the mirror crashed on the dresser and she began to scream, "bloody murderer! let me rest in peace!". "when i was yours, you fled the scene, now you can't wash your hands of me." bloody murder. you can't hear the screams."
LJ-CUT you say?!
fuck you.