monozygotic
I am 20 years old. I'm a straight "A" (community) college student, my instructors like me, my peers ask me for help, even in the subjects I am poor at. I am a father of between three and five, depending on my families' ability to fend for themselves...I don't have any children of my own, but I have two brothers, an emotionally drained mother, a cousin and a nephew who all need me to be the fill in parent in some way. I have a job that I hate, that I continue to work in order to go to school, live on my own and smoke cigarettes.
I am trying to move out of my current apartment, while making sure to retain my friendship with my current roommate. I have a girlfriend that I really want to love, but its not something that comes easy to me, so I force it anyway...I don't fake it...think shitting while constipated. I excrete, painfully, what is there in order to get the desired result in spite of the consequences of doing so, as they may not be as bad as holding it in. Not the prettiest metaphor by any stretch, but certainly the most apt I've run into lately. I'm always happy in company; friendly, supportive, upbeat. But as soon as I'm alone, lately, the stress is slamming me into the ground. I'm not depressed, just overwhelmed...I need some feedback from my effort, I need someone to walk up to me, without my asking them to, and simply say, "Hey, Matt, you're doing a good job." I just want to see a result from my work...Not the end result, just some small landmark to tell me I was right when I didn't take that left turn at Albequerque.
Fuck all...More cramming then I'm snuggling up to my warm and snoring girlfriend.
Matt
I am trying to move out of my current apartment, while making sure to retain my friendship with my current roommate. I have a girlfriend that I really want to love, but its not something that comes easy to me, so I force it anyway...I don't fake it...think shitting while constipated. I excrete, painfully, what is there in order to get the desired result in spite of the consequences of doing so, as they may not be as bad as holding it in. Not the prettiest metaphor by any stretch, but certainly the most apt I've run into lately. I'm always happy in company; friendly, supportive, upbeat. But as soon as I'm alone, lately, the stress is slamming me into the ground. I'm not depressed, just overwhelmed...I need some feedback from my effort, I need someone to walk up to me, without my asking them to, and simply say, "Hey, Matt, you're doing a good job." I just want to see a result from my work...Not the end result, just some small landmark to tell me I was right when I didn't take that left turn at Albequerque.
Fuck all...More cramming then I'm snuggling up to my warm and snoring girlfriend.
Matt