(Untitled)

[sixfootwood]

Oi! HALLO YOU BEAUTIFUL INTERWEBS!! Yes yes, I've been gone a while, you poor things, all desolate without your Oliver to keep you company. I should be ashamed of myself, really. Quite ashamed.

I am, however, NOT. Shocking eh? YES YES

Comments

[slobberymongrel]

Did you say something about curry? Did you say something about taking your old mucker Sirius Black out for aforementioned curry? I believe you did. Quite possibly.

The bit about bubblebaths is too easy. Quite the impressive duck you're wielding there EH EH.

[sixfootwood]

Quite possibly--quite possibly indeed Quite probably even. Most like. Yes. Did I mention yes? Yes.

You know you like my duck, Black--you know you want to squeeze it and make it go quack all sultry-like! I think this metaphor has gone a bit off.

[slobberymongrel]

Theres a lad. Always knew you were a bright one. Im soaked through, I was doing field work today, I need some horrifically spicy edibles to warm me up.

If your metaphorical duck quacks I really dont want anything to do with it, quite honestly.

[sixfootwood]

Ugh, real work you say? Fucking awful. I laid around all day playing with Nero and The Things Beneath My Bed That I Do Not Speak To Perc About(tm). A bit of flying in the afternoon,a near-miss with a fruit tree, and now a bit of flaming-hot comestibles. I need a bloody job, mate. Still months til the season's started again--come on, let me tag for some of that brilliantly exciting fieldwork you do!

My literal duck is quite vocal--my metaphorical one, not so much. Strong silent type, that.

[slobberymongrel]

Tell us about it. Mad Eye made us nose around in the mud for AGES after a trail I could barely scent. It was terrible. He didnt even let me roll in anything or sniff any pretty passing bird's bums. All in all a FAILURE of a day, Wood.

...You want to come next time? You're bats, mate. Complete bats. Did you trip into something and smack your head too hard last time we went drinking?

[sixfootwood]

I actually think it was the pear tree I ended arse-up in today--found quite a nice nest of some.....things...up there though. I think I shall heal given time.

HELL man, adventure, intrigue!! MUD!! I am made for this, this is what I LIVE FOR. I could be your partner, me--I'd let you piss on things and roll in things--hell we could do it TOGETHER. I am not sniffing anyone's arse, though. I draw the line. It's a very thin line, but it is there.

Come ON, you know your wolfie would like it, I could watch out for you--Percy would have an aneurysm, obviously, but we could talk him out of it.

[slobberymongrel]

Vicious things, fruit trees. I get down on my knees and thank merlin that you escaped its lush green grasps reletively unscathed. Aside from the severe brain damage, but that might've been there already HAR HAR.

.....Alright, alright, stop your womanly whinging. How about this. I'll try and cut you an intern deal, hows that sound? You gotta prove yourself before you get on any sort of payroll, but its not hard, just show you know which side of the wand is the one that the magikkers comes out of. You'd be under my resposibility though, so dont be fuckin' around, except of course all the times we can get away with it. Sound alright?

...Also, I wouldnt call Remus "wolfie" unless you are prepared to deal with 13 stone of angry werewolf bearing down upon you. A

Also the second, I bet you would sniff my arse, you utter tart.

[sixfootwood]

Oh is that what you keep getting on your knees about? Bit of a confusion, there. You trollop you. 'An if that bludger last winter didn't do it, I doubt a well-intentioned pear could! I mean really, didn't even have any sharp and poisoney bits!

....I wasn't whinging, I was clearly stating my case in a very beguiling way--can I help it that you think penetrative and lustful thoughts when I'm speaking? I THINK NOT.

sounds fucking PERFECT, mate. Now to break it to Percy. Hmh.

ah thanks for the warning--I'd hate to start going furry myself--be a right menance--I'd be of the pissing-on-things-and-eating-them variety I bet.

Have done, mate--and you appreciated it too, you complete harlot.

[slobberymongrel]

HAHAHA! Why, what did you think I was getting on my knees for? I should think you're rather used to it honestly, Im not the one who's constantly polishing brooms EH EH.

Penetrative thoughts gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "mind fuck", I should think. IM IN UR BRAIN, PENETRATING UR LOBES.

Oh sod him. Its just a job. The attacks these days are happily dwindling what with their Noble Noseless Leader's mind out for a spot of fucking tea. The most action you'll get will be from me.

You know, with toting tea and the like.

You arent that variety already? And of course I enjoyed it on a purely comradely level, its how best mates who are sometimes canines say HALLO WHO ARE YOU LETS BE MATES. Remus doesnt buy it when Im bent over his arse and whuffling in the mornings though.

[sixfootwood]

Ah yes, but my broom's the shinest and smoothest in all the land, Sirius--truly....you should ride it sometime....

maybe we'll go to the sea or some shit. AHAHAHA!! Now I have to make a kitten popping from some bloke's head. THANK YOU VERY MUCH MSSR. BLACK.

Things have been quite lacking in waffles and fluffy bunnies lately, haven't they? Quite nice, really--could go for some pancakes though. Ravenous.

You'll not make me wear that ickle maid's outfit again, I won't fall for it-it'll be a proper harem-girl getup or NOTHING you cheap bastard.

Percy rather gets upset when I mess with his arse early mornings as well

[slobberymongrel]

As if Id ride on your broom, however smooth and shiney, lad. You wouldnt know what to do with yourself. No, no, best solution is to get something large and hot and vibrating between your thighs.

You know, the Harbringer. I did promise you a ride one day, I think. YOU'RE VERY WELCOME MSSR WOOD.

Fuck pancakes, I thought the plan was curry? The plan IS curry because I WANT curry, damit. Ive already asked Moony over on his journal as it were. Have you pissed him off lately?

HAHAHAA. Oh, fine. If you sincerely must insist. Do you prefer fishnet or bare legged?

They just dont understand us, Wood. They just dont.

[sixfootwood]

Pissed him off? No, no not that I c'n recall--'less that was his pear tree I rear-ended today. Nah your mate and I get on just fine, I'll buy him a poppadom, he'll fawn over me, he will--great growing boy like myself.

FUCK PANCAKES INDEED--but can we stop for after? I want fruit ones, whipped cream, you know my sweet tooth. TO CALM THE FIERY FIREYNESS IN MY MOUTH.

crotchless, you old pervert--you know my tastes, don't pretend you don't.

be righ' out after my bath. Can't go about grungy now can I?

[slobberymongrel]

Hm. Thats odd, then.

Fine, fine. We can stop for pancakes after. You're going to get fat and grotesque and when you do I will LAUGH uproariously and stop sneaking glances at your lovely little rear when its your shout.

Old pervert?? Clearly you dont want me to dress you up indecently and order you about. Ah, well..

We're going to laugh at your pruney self. A lot.