ambition makes you look pretty ugly
Been awhile, eh? The past week I've been writing entries and then deleting them because I either thought they were pointless or I just didn't feel like finishing them. But right now I don't care if this entry is pointless or not, I'm just trying to pass some time because I can't go to sleep.
I haven't really done that much this summer, but it's much better than the last. Every day is pretty much the same routine. Every night I've stayed up to alteast 4. (One time I did stay up until 7:30!) I always end up having good conversations with Matt or Allie. Everything just seems so much better at night.I can't believe it's already July though. July has always been a bad luck month for me.
This past week I've been feeling really anxious for no reason, which is part of the reason why I can never get to sleep. I found out recently that acid reflux disease is sometimes caused by anxiety and I thought that was weird because I've always thought that I had some kind of anxiety disorder. I've always been scared of death because I used to have these nightmares about it. A long time ago I had one where I was walking through a grave yard with my Dad and I saw a grave with my name on it. I completely forgot about it because I blocked it out of memory until recently. But all I can remember now is how scared I was and how I never wanted to leave the house because I thought something drastic was going to happen. I never told anyone about it though because I don't really like telling people stuff for some reason, but I told my sister about this recently and she said it wasn't normal. I also kind of freaked out when I heard about Matt Sims. It just felt really weird just because I had talked to him once and I felt really bad. The whole situation made me not want to drive even more.After I heard about it I got scared to even get inside a car.
Hmm it's 4:12 and I'm starting to feel tired. I wonder if this entry even made any sense.
I haven't really done that much this summer, but it's much better than the last. Every day is pretty much the same routine. Every night I've stayed up to alteast 4. (One time I did stay up until 7:30!) I always end up having good conversations with Matt or Allie. Everything just seems so much better at night.I can't believe it's already July though. July has always been a bad luck month for me.
This past week I've been feeling really anxious for no reason, which is part of the reason why I can never get to sleep. I found out recently that acid reflux disease is sometimes caused by anxiety and I thought that was weird because I've always thought that I had some kind of anxiety disorder. I've always been scared of death because I used to have these nightmares about it. A long time ago I had one where I was walking through a grave yard with my Dad and I saw a grave with my name on it. I completely forgot about it because I blocked it out of memory until recently. But all I can remember now is how scared I was and how I never wanted to leave the house because I thought something drastic was going to happen. I never told anyone about it though because I don't really like telling people stuff for some reason, but I told my sister about this recently and she said it wasn't normal. I also kind of freaked out when I heard about Matt Sims. It just felt really weird just because I had talked to him once and I felt really bad. The whole situation made me not want to drive even more.After I heard about it I got scared to even get inside a car.
Hmm it's 4:12 and I'm starting to feel tired. I wonder if this entry even made any sense.