Entry 295: Wrap myself in forgetness
My heart is sending signals to my brain that we have a major invasion and we must shut down all feelings... before spreading occurs and takes over my head. It knows the signals of this type of invasion because it has felt it before. What I think could never be felt again is slowly battle'n its way back. Who knew their could ever be a person to consume my head as much as mandie. Like missles in the night, thoughts of her penetrate. Man all battle stations, time to counterattack. "One must not feel this, one must not bring themselves to feel this way... she'll set you up and knock you down like that last one." the brain says.
Here, arm yourself with alcohol... drink up be merry forget such an idiotic thing could exist. Love is nothing but a form of insanity. But the drinks dont last. Theirs a place you both once drank, and a couch she sat next to you on. Then their is a last call, their is no one last beer in the fridge. Sober times will be here again. Might as well.............
Sleep, wrap yourself in a blanket, close your eyes and forget reality. But sleep will past, the sun will rise and so will you... and so will the thoughts of her, "What she do last night, whats she doing right now, what she doing later?" Ahhhhhhhh NOOOOOOOOOOOOISE.... those voices..... drown out the thoughts with...........
Music! Turn the volume up and the thoughts of her down. Mix a new set of thoughts. Quickly the heart is beating faster, we dont want to get the two offbeat. But soon the music will fade, and we'll be back at where we started... booze sleep music... in whatever order you perfer.
Maybe I should celebrate such emotion? I mean really, who knew such a person could consume me once again? Claire would maybe even envy such a person who was able to break down my walls. Or rejoice that such Karma can come around on me. Mandie would stand in shock as she would watch this person walk away with something she once held such a tight grip on.
I keep on keeping on... fighting the fight... because i guess YOU CANT FAIL IF YOU DONT GIVE UP.
Here, arm yourself with alcohol... drink up be merry forget such an idiotic thing could exist. Love is nothing but a form of insanity. But the drinks dont last. Theirs a place you both once drank, and a couch she sat next to you on. Then their is a last call, their is no one last beer in the fridge. Sober times will be here again. Might as well.............
Sleep, wrap yourself in a blanket, close your eyes and forget reality. But sleep will past, the sun will rise and so will you... and so will the thoughts of her, "What she do last night, whats she doing right now, what she doing later?" Ahhhhhhhh NOOOOOOOOOOOOISE.... those voices..... drown out the thoughts with...........
Music! Turn the volume up and the thoughts of her down. Mix a new set of thoughts. Quickly the heart is beating faster, we dont want to get the two offbeat. But soon the music will fade, and we'll be back at where we started... booze sleep music... in whatever order you perfer.
Maybe I should celebrate such emotion? I mean really, who knew such a person could consume me once again? Claire would maybe even envy such a person who was able to break down my walls. Or rejoice that such Karma can come around on me. Mandie would stand in shock as she would watch this person walk away with something she once held such a tight grip on.
I keep on keeping on... fighting the fight... because i guess YOU CANT FAIL IF YOU DONT GIVE UP.