So my first night of Easter/Spring break was ungodly depresssing.
Let me start by saying that as a small child, I essentially lived at my great-grandparents house.
They were old and retired, and they lived for me. They spoiled me and loved me very, very very much.
When I was 8 or so, my great-grandmother grew sick and died, and my great-grandfather followed a couple of years later.
But most of my childhood had taken place there, because by the time I was 11 I was going through being an angsty teenager.
My aunt, who I was also very close with for a long time, took care of my great-grandfather through Alzheimer's and other health ailments until he died. She then got the house...
well, now she's lost the house and it's been foreclosed on.
Last weekend my father, a couple of his friends, and I went over there and rummaged through things in the garage and the part of the garage that was my great-grandfathers workshop - virtually undisturbed since the last time he was there. We also went through a couple of closets, one containing a newspaper article, where my father was interviewed because his kindergarden class was covered near Valentines day, and his 5 year old self said, "I think Valentines day is about showing love...so I'm giving my valentine to my mother and father. I'm not giving any to the girls because I don't like girls."
and just a lot of other things. :/
My mother and I went back last night and grabbed some final things, and I felt desperate, like I needed something to remember the place, like there was something I needed to talk and was missing.
The swing.
A lot of time was spent on the back patio porch swing off the side of the garage.
I remember many days and photographs taken there, and thogh in passing years I'd been warned against sitting on it for fear of it falling,
I sat down on it and sobbed.
I was just so depressed, overwhelmed by memories of a place I loved and would never go to again. The way it was going was awful, how badly my aunt hadn't taken care of it depressed me, and I missed them.
So I made my mom help me unhook and carry the porch swing to the truck, and it went with us too. :/
I cried harder than I have in a long time...
since Vinnie died.
:(
They were old and retired, and they lived for me. They spoiled me and loved me very, very very much.
When I was 8 or so, my great-grandmother grew sick and died, and my great-grandfather followed a couple of years later.
But most of my childhood had taken place there, because by the time I was 11 I was going through being an angsty teenager.
My aunt, who I was also very close with for a long time, took care of my great-grandfather through Alzheimer's and other health ailments until he died. She then got the house...
well, now she's lost the house and it's been foreclosed on.
Last weekend my father, a couple of his friends, and I went over there and rummaged through things in the garage and the part of the garage that was my great-grandfathers workshop - virtually undisturbed since the last time he was there. We also went through a couple of closets, one containing a newspaper article, where my father was interviewed because his kindergarden class was covered near Valentines day, and his 5 year old self said, "I think Valentines day is about showing love...so I'm giving my valentine to my mother and father. I'm not giving any to the girls because I don't like girls."
and just a lot of other things. :/
My mother and I went back last night and grabbed some final things, and I felt desperate, like I needed something to remember the place, like there was something I needed to talk and was missing.
The swing.
A lot of time was spent on the back patio porch swing off the side of the garage.
I remember many days and photographs taken there, and thogh in passing years I'd been warned against sitting on it for fear of it falling,
I sat down on it and sobbed.
I was just so depressed, overwhelmed by memories of a place I loved and would never go to again. The way it was going was awful, how badly my aunt hadn't taken care of it depressed me, and I missed them.
So I made my mom help me unhook and carry the porch swing to the truck, and it went with us too. :/
I cried harder than I have in a long time...
since Vinnie died.
:(