(no subject)
Title : Hey Baby
Author : sitiisinsane
Pairing : Kris/Baekhyun
Word Count : 1870 words
Type : Ongoing
Rating : PG-13
Warnings : Male pregnancy,language.
Summary : Kris wants a baby to complete his family (and totally not because he wants someone to pass his awfully good genes to).
You have been warned. This contains male pregnancy,so if you're not comfortable with it,do not click on it.
This thing just had to be written after the whole 'what-if-krisbaek-have-kids' conversation with my most favorite unirrr (lol no,i h8 her).
THE THINGS I DO FOR MY FAVORITE UNNIRR.I do not know much about pregnancy,so some of the things are made up and might not make sense but kdfdjsfjdg,fuck it.This was written for fun,so yes do not judge me
When Kris has an idea in his head, it’s impossible to beat it out of him. Baekhyun would know.
Baekhyun wishes he could beat it out of the older male sometimes. Like, with a broom. Or with the vacuum cleaner hose. Or using that collection of Disney movies that Kris has stashed in inside porn casings.
Like that one time when Luhan showed Kris photos of Xiumin in pretty knee-length dresses, and Baekhyun came home to his husband using the laptop to lurk on ASOS, pointing out dresses and wondering aloud whether the younger male would look best in a bareback black dress or the one with the blue frills. Baekhyun had insisted that no, no way in hell am I wearing that because. He knows he should have beaten Chanyeol up for showing Kris his past cross-dressing photos. The older male isn’t the kind to take ‘no’ for an answer, and if anything, the more Baekhyun resists, the more determined Kris is. It sucks, because now Baekhyun has six dresses in his closet and he puts them on (willingly, he has to grudgingly admit) sometimes for his dumb husband. Well, at least Kris had been right when he said that the material would feel great against his skin.
Or that one time when Kris had the brilliant idea of signing them up for couple dance lessons because, apparently, according to Jongin and Tao, it’s the most perfect activity for couples to further bond. Right. They clearly missed out the fact that Kris is just...stupidly tall with four left feet tied together, and that he has the patience the size of a nut. By the second lesson, Baekhyun had managed to smack another woman on the nose when his husband had attempted to twirl him, trod on Kris’s stupid large feet 454095 times and they had bumped into another couple, causing the couple to crash into a couple of chairs at the back of the class. And oh, not to mention that Kris pissed the female instructor off so much that she actually threatened to beat his face into a bloody pulp, while brandishing her stiletto heels at him.
It’d be a pretty long list if Baekhyun was to list down all the (silly) ideas that the older male has ever suggested, and sometimes, he doesn’t even know why he even goes through with it. Maybe it’s because Kris can be persuasive when he wants to be, or maybe it’s just that Baekhyun can’t stand seeing the older male mope around the house, casting pitiful expressions towards the younger male’s direction.
But this. This. Whatever Kris is suggesting right now is the king of all ideas. Baekhyun is torn between wanting to laugh hysterically (though it’s not really that amusing) and grabbing the remote control on the coffee table to whack the other male on the head.
‘’You.want.a.baby.’’ He allows a few seconds to pass before he repeats it again. ‘’A baby. You want me to give birth.''
‘’No, I want to impregnate a random woman on the street and ask her to give birth.’’ Kris answers back sarcastically, dodging the remote that comes flying his way. ‘’Yes, Baekhyun, a baby! Think about it - wouldn’t it be a waste if we didn’t have any children to pass on our good genes? Like, think of what the world will be missing out on if we don't do that!''
Baekhyun snorts.
‘’Jongdae has a baby.’’ Kris points out, a bit petulantly.
‘’He does not. What he has is a baby doll designed for mothers to practice their mothering skills on.’’ Baekhyun hates that fucking thing - because he’s always hated dolls and those things are fucking creepy.
His husband waves a hand dismissively. ‘’Irrelevant.’’ He gets to his feet and closes the distance between them, looking down earnestly at his shorter husband. ‘’Well, maybe not just to pass our genes to. It’ll be livelier with a kid around, don’t you think?’’
‘’fkdlfjdfjdh’’ Baekhyun emits a strangled sound, because he’s fairly certain that Kris isn’t kidding around. ‘’Have you forgotten that you married a male? Hello.’’ He gestures to his crotch area. ‘’Penis here, not a vagina, in case you need any reminding. And I don’t think I’d want a baby popping out of my ass.’’ He blanches at the mere thought of it.
‘’Again, irrelevant.’’
‘’What do you mean irrelevant-‘’
Kris grabs Baekhyun by the sleeve of his shirt, leaning down to slant his lips against Baekhyun’s because that’s the only way to shut him up before he starts on one of his ‘what-is-with-you-and-your-ridiculous-ideas’ rant. And also because he thinks that Baekhyun looks extra kissable with his wide-framed reading spectacles sliding down his nose.
‘’I want us to have a kid. Girl or boy, it doesn’t matter. Because it’ll be our kid, and it’ll make our family complete.’’ Baekhyun can imagine it already - a son who will probably take after Kris (e.g. stubborn, probably with a lot of teeth, huge hands, handsome, but also a douche bag...though he hopes his son won’t grow up to be a cheeseball like his husband) more than he’ll take after Baekhyun and it’s ridiculous that he’s even contemplating it.
Kris slips his right hand under the hem of the younger male’s shirt, splaying his fingers against the smooth skin of Baekhyun’s tummy. ‘’Fuck, I can imagine it already. You carrying my baby.’’ His voice is smooth and low, and it sends tingles of pleasure down the younger male’s spine. ‘’Your tummy swelling and getting rounder.’’ Kris licks his lips, eyes dark with want. ‘’You’d look so pretty.’’ Kris whispers, ending his sentence with a nip to Baekhyun’s left earlobe.
They have been thinking about expanding the family, back when they had gotten married three years ago, but had put it off because they weren’t really prepared for that yet. But now, with their careers already stable and the extra savings...
‘’Hey.’’ Kris grips his husband’s chin gently, lifting it up. ‘’I won’t pressurize you into it. If you’re not ready, we can forget this whole conversation.’’ And Baekhyun is more than certain that the older male means what he says - that he won’t be upset if Baekhyun was to say no, because Kris is understanding like that.
Our baby.
He rests his own palms against Kris’s - he’s made up his mind, he’s certain that he wants it because nothing will make him (them) happier. Baekhyun doesn’t manage to get a word out because Kris is already hoisting him up in his arms, twirling Baekhyun around the living room and peppering kisses all over his face and yelling, ‘’I’M GOING TO BE A FREAKING DAD’’, at the top of his lungs.
Kris stubs his toe against the coffee table.
x.x
Baekhyun isn’t a female, so he doesn’t really have a cycle thingy to follow, like - when it would be best for them to have sex. So, they just go at it. A lot of people would actually be surprised that Baekhyun’s the one who is sort of insatiable.
They’re going at it for 2nd time that night - Kris grunting as he thrusts into the younger male, Baekhyun’s fingernails leaving faint marks on his hips and his thighs. Baekhyun’s not even sure of what he’s saying anymore, his words a jumble of harderkrisyifanfasterohfuckthere and then Kris fucking folds him in half and-
-and his stupid iPhone chooses now, of all times, to ring, blasting the ‘Doctor Who’ theme song. It happens a lot. It’s like his iPhone has been programmed to ring whenever they’re fucking.
Baekhyun lifts his hands up, curling his fingers around the headboard and Kris, ever the gentleman, manages to stop fucking him long enough to slide a pillow under his husband’s head to cushion it against the headboard.
‘’I.fucking.hate-‘’ Baekhyun locks his feet behind Kris’s back, gasping. ‘’I.fucking.hate.that.dumb.ringtone.’’ Kris grits out, glaring at the phone that was vibrating on the night table.
Baekhyun’s answer is a garbled fuckohshitthere,doctor who is awefuckingshitsome okay.
And the older male stretches an arm out to grab the iPhone, his other hand curling around Baekhyun’s erect cock.
‘’Hey, we’re busy making babies right now. Call back later.’’
And then Kris fucking tosses Baekhyun’s iPhone onto the floor.
x.x
Baekhyun spots Jongdae wheeling the creepy baby doll thingy in a stroller the next morning, and what’s even creepier is Suho cooing and making baby talk at it. And seriously, what hideous thing did they dress that doll in? Baekhyun shudders and yanks the curtains of the living room close.
x.x
They’re not even sure if it’s working, but the sex has been extra spectacular lately, and so they continue.
x.x
Kris nearly emits a not-so-manly scream when he spots Jongdae and Suho pushing their cart along the dried goods aisle, with the baby doll strapped to Suho’s front. Hastily, he blindly picks out whatever he needs, tosses it into his shopping trolley and hightails it out of there. He still won’t forget that day when Suho spent five minutes persuading the baby doll to call Kris ‘uncle’.
It’s only when he’s home that he realizes what he had picked out in his haste,
‘’Kris, why the hell did you buy tampons for?!’’
x.x
[Two months later]
Kris squirts more shaving cream onto his palm and rubs it all over his jaw, soaking his razor in a glass of warm water before switching it on. He can see Baekhyun leaning against the doorway through the mirror, and there’s something but he can’t quite put a finger on it. The younger male was oddly quiet during the dinner, choosing to instead poke at the half-burnt salmon instead of chattering and attempting to force feed Kris vegetables.
‘’I’m pregnant.’’
Kris nicks himself with the razor, and spends five minutes yelling about how he’s losing blood and will probably need a blood transfusion and that he’s going to die even before he becomes a dad and -
Baekhyun throws a box of plasters at his face.
x.x
A (Doctor Who) band-aid (which Kris vows to rip off a.s.a.p) and much coddling by Baekhyun later (seriously, how old are you, you big baby), it finally sinks in that his husband is pregnant. Like, pregnant pregnant. He, Wu Yifan, had succeeded. No surprise there because, duh, it was his amazing sperm and he totally had confidence in them. Though Kris is slightly put out by the fact that Baekhyun had gone to the doctor by himself, he’s still fucking elated by the news and proceeds to tweet :
I’M GOING TO BE A DADDY! (and a kickass one at that too). Finally, a kid to pass on my awfully good genes to :’)
He gets twenty mentions but ignores it because hey, Baekhyun is pregnant, and they’re busy...celebrating. In bed.
x.x
Jongdae stops by to gift them with homemade cookies, congratulating them on Baekhyun’s pregnancy.
He then turns to his ‘daughter’, patting her bald head affectionately. ‘’Yay, you’re going to have a friend to play with soon!’’
As soon as Baekhyun shuts the door, Kris mutters under his breath,
‘’No way in hell I’m letting my kid mix with the likes of...whatever that thing is.’’
x.x
LONGEST KRISBAEK I'VE EVER WRITTEN SO FAR.YAY ME.
/continues to roll around in overwhelming krisbaek feels/
Author : sitiisinsane
Pairing : Kris/Baekhyun
Word Count : 1870 words
Type : Ongoing
Rating : PG-13
Warnings : Male pregnancy,language.
Summary : Kris wants a baby to complete his family (and totally not because he wants someone to pass his awfully good genes to).
You have been warned. This contains male pregnancy,so if you're not comfortable with it,do not click on it.
This thing just had to be written after the whole 'what-if-krisbaek-have-kids' conversation with my most favorite unirrr (lol no,i h8 her).
THE THINGS I DO FOR MY FAVORITE UNNIRR.I do not know much about pregnancy,so some of the things are made up and might not make sense but kdfdjsfjdg,fuck it.This was written for fun,so yes do not judge me
When Kris has an idea in his head, it’s impossible to beat it out of him. Baekhyun would know.
Baekhyun wishes he could beat it out of the older male sometimes. Like, with a broom. Or with the vacuum cleaner hose. Or using that collection of Disney movies that Kris has stashed in inside porn casings.
Like that one time when Luhan showed Kris photos of Xiumin in pretty knee-length dresses, and Baekhyun came home to his husband using the laptop to lurk on ASOS, pointing out dresses and wondering aloud whether the younger male would look best in a bareback black dress or the one with the blue frills. Baekhyun had insisted that no, no way in hell am I wearing that because. He knows he should have beaten Chanyeol up for showing Kris his past cross-dressing photos. The older male isn’t the kind to take ‘no’ for an answer, and if anything, the more Baekhyun resists, the more determined Kris is. It sucks, because now Baekhyun has six dresses in his closet and he puts them on (willingly, he has to grudgingly admit) sometimes for his dumb husband. Well, at least Kris had been right when he said that the material would feel great against his skin.
Or that one time when Kris had the brilliant idea of signing them up for couple dance lessons because, apparently, according to Jongin and Tao, it’s the most perfect activity for couples to further bond. Right. They clearly missed out the fact that Kris is just...stupidly tall with four left feet tied together, and that he has the patience the size of a nut. By the second lesson, Baekhyun had managed to smack another woman on the nose when his husband had attempted to twirl him, trod on Kris’s stupid large feet 454095 times and they had bumped into another couple, causing the couple to crash into a couple of chairs at the back of the class. And oh, not to mention that Kris pissed the female instructor off so much that she actually threatened to beat his face into a bloody pulp, while brandishing her stiletto heels at him.
It’d be a pretty long list if Baekhyun was to list down all the (silly) ideas that the older male has ever suggested, and sometimes, he doesn’t even know why he even goes through with it. Maybe it’s because Kris can be persuasive when he wants to be, or maybe it’s just that Baekhyun can’t stand seeing the older male mope around the house, casting pitiful expressions towards the younger male’s direction.
But this. This. Whatever Kris is suggesting right now is the king of all ideas. Baekhyun is torn between wanting to laugh hysterically (though it’s not really that amusing) and grabbing the remote control on the coffee table to whack the other male on the head.
‘’You.want.a.baby.’’ He allows a few seconds to pass before he repeats it again. ‘’A baby. You want me to give birth.''
‘’No, I want to impregnate a random woman on the street and ask her to give birth.’’ Kris answers back sarcastically, dodging the remote that comes flying his way. ‘’Yes, Baekhyun, a baby! Think about it - wouldn’t it be a waste if we didn’t have any children to pass on our good genes? Like, think of what the world will be missing out on if we don't do that!''
Baekhyun snorts.
‘’Jongdae has a baby.’’ Kris points out, a bit petulantly.
‘’He does not. What he has is a baby doll designed for mothers to practice their mothering skills on.’’ Baekhyun hates that fucking thing - because he’s always hated dolls and those things are fucking creepy.
His husband waves a hand dismissively. ‘’Irrelevant.’’ He gets to his feet and closes the distance between them, looking down earnestly at his shorter husband. ‘’Well, maybe not just to pass our genes to. It’ll be livelier with a kid around, don’t you think?’’
‘’fkdlfjdfjdh’’ Baekhyun emits a strangled sound, because he’s fairly certain that Kris isn’t kidding around. ‘’Have you forgotten that you married a male? Hello.’’ He gestures to his crotch area. ‘’Penis here, not a vagina, in case you need any reminding. And I don’t think I’d want a baby popping out of my ass.’’ He blanches at the mere thought of it.
‘’Again, irrelevant.’’
‘’What do you mean irrelevant-‘’
Kris grabs Baekhyun by the sleeve of his shirt, leaning down to slant his lips against Baekhyun’s because that’s the only way to shut him up before he starts on one of his ‘what-is-with-you-and-your-ridiculous-ideas’ rant. And also because he thinks that Baekhyun looks extra kissable with his wide-framed reading spectacles sliding down his nose.
‘’I want us to have a kid. Girl or boy, it doesn’t matter. Because it’ll be our kid, and it’ll make our family complete.’’ Baekhyun can imagine it already - a son who will probably take after Kris (e.g. stubborn, probably with a lot of teeth, huge hands, handsome, but also a douche bag...though he hopes his son won’t grow up to be a cheeseball like his husband) more than he’ll take after Baekhyun and it’s ridiculous that he’s even contemplating it.
Kris slips his right hand under the hem of the younger male’s shirt, splaying his fingers against the smooth skin of Baekhyun’s tummy. ‘’Fuck, I can imagine it already. You carrying my baby.’’ His voice is smooth and low, and it sends tingles of pleasure down the younger male’s spine. ‘’Your tummy swelling and getting rounder.’’ Kris licks his lips, eyes dark with want. ‘’You’d look so pretty.’’ Kris whispers, ending his sentence with a nip to Baekhyun’s left earlobe.
They have been thinking about expanding the family, back when they had gotten married three years ago, but had put it off because they weren’t really prepared for that yet. But now, with their careers already stable and the extra savings...
‘’Hey.’’ Kris grips his husband’s chin gently, lifting it up. ‘’I won’t pressurize you into it. If you’re not ready, we can forget this whole conversation.’’ And Baekhyun is more than certain that the older male means what he says - that he won’t be upset if Baekhyun was to say no, because Kris is understanding like that.
Our baby.
He rests his own palms against Kris’s - he’s made up his mind, he’s certain that he wants it because nothing will make him (them) happier. Baekhyun doesn’t manage to get a word out because Kris is already hoisting him up in his arms, twirling Baekhyun around the living room and peppering kisses all over his face and yelling, ‘’I’M GOING TO BE A FREAKING DAD’’, at the top of his lungs.
Kris stubs his toe against the coffee table.
x.x
Baekhyun isn’t a female, so he doesn’t really have a cycle thingy to follow, like - when it would be best for them to have sex. So, they just go at it. A lot of people would actually be surprised that Baekhyun’s the one who is sort of insatiable.
They’re going at it for 2nd time that night - Kris grunting as he thrusts into the younger male, Baekhyun’s fingernails leaving faint marks on his hips and his thighs. Baekhyun’s not even sure of what he’s saying anymore, his words a jumble of harderkrisyifanfasterohfuckthere and then Kris fucking folds him in half and-
-and his stupid iPhone chooses now, of all times, to ring, blasting the ‘Doctor Who’ theme song. It happens a lot. It’s like his iPhone has been programmed to ring whenever they’re fucking.
Baekhyun lifts his hands up, curling his fingers around the headboard and Kris, ever the gentleman, manages to stop fucking him long enough to slide a pillow under his husband’s head to cushion it against the headboard.
‘’I.fucking.hate-‘’ Baekhyun locks his feet behind Kris’s back, gasping. ‘’I.fucking.hate.that.dumb.ringtone.’’ Kris grits out, glaring at the phone that was vibrating on the night table.
Baekhyun’s answer is a garbled fuckohshitthere,doctor who is awefuckingshitsome okay.
And the older male stretches an arm out to grab the iPhone, his other hand curling around Baekhyun’s erect cock.
‘’Hey, we’re busy making babies right now. Call back later.’’
And then Kris fucking tosses Baekhyun’s iPhone onto the floor.
x.x
Baekhyun spots Jongdae wheeling the creepy baby doll thingy in a stroller the next morning, and what’s even creepier is Suho cooing and making baby talk at it. And seriously, what hideous thing did they dress that doll in? Baekhyun shudders and yanks the curtains of the living room close.
x.x
They’re not even sure if it’s working, but the sex has been extra spectacular lately, and so they continue.
x.x
Kris nearly emits a not-so-manly scream when he spots Jongdae and Suho pushing their cart along the dried goods aisle, with the baby doll strapped to Suho’s front. Hastily, he blindly picks out whatever he needs, tosses it into his shopping trolley and hightails it out of there. He still won’t forget that day when Suho spent five minutes persuading the baby doll to call Kris ‘uncle’.
It’s only when he’s home that he realizes what he had picked out in his haste,
‘’Kris, why the hell did you buy tampons for?!’’
x.x
[Two months later]
Kris squirts more shaving cream onto his palm and rubs it all over his jaw, soaking his razor in a glass of warm water before switching it on. He can see Baekhyun leaning against the doorway through the mirror, and there’s something but he can’t quite put a finger on it. The younger male was oddly quiet during the dinner, choosing to instead poke at the half-burnt salmon instead of chattering and attempting to force feed Kris vegetables.
‘’I’m pregnant.’’
Kris nicks himself with the razor, and spends five minutes yelling about how he’s losing blood and will probably need a blood transfusion and that he’s going to die even before he becomes a dad and -
Baekhyun throws a box of plasters at his face.
x.x
A (Doctor Who) band-aid (which Kris vows to rip off a.s.a.p) and much coddling by Baekhyun later (seriously, how old are you, you big baby), it finally sinks in that his husband is pregnant. Like, pregnant pregnant. He, Wu Yifan, had succeeded. No surprise there because, duh, it was his amazing sperm and he totally had confidence in them. Though Kris is slightly put out by the fact that Baekhyun had gone to the doctor by himself, he’s still fucking elated by the news and proceeds to tweet :
I’M GOING TO BE A DADDY! (and a kickass one at that too). Finally, a kid to pass on my awfully good genes to :’)
He gets twenty mentions but ignores it because hey, Baekhyun is pregnant, and they’re busy...celebrating. In bed.
x.x
Jongdae stops by to gift them with homemade cookies, congratulating them on Baekhyun’s pregnancy.
He then turns to his ‘daughter’, patting her bald head affectionately. ‘’Yay, you’re going to have a friend to play with soon!’’
As soon as Baekhyun shuts the door, Kris mutters under his breath,
‘’No way in hell I’m letting my kid mix with the likes of...whatever that thing is.’’
x.x
LONGEST KRISBAEK I'VE EVER WRITTEN SO FAR.YAY ME.
/continues to roll around in overwhelming krisbaek feels/