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"to see or not to see"
I may always get lost
but I know the way home
now if I could only remember,
see I just can't tell
if home is heaven,
or if home is hell.
"condemnation"
elasticity exhausted
history might show you
how a dagger in my back
always finds it's way home
and for far too long have you neglected
to take inventory of your cupboards
but the threshing floor will rectify
what I have not the time to
my hands finally clean,
if not at least a little forlorned...
"the scars of kindness"
It's a little sad to think that when I go down to Connecticut next month to take my mother out to dinner for her birthday it will likely also be to say goodbye to Lopsy forever. When I was a kid I used to hang out after school at the Berkshire humane society animal shelter and everyday when my mom would pick me up I would cry and pout and beg her to adopt one of the dogs. We always lived in apartments though so my mom would always find graceful ways to tell me it wasn't possible but then one day after years of begging she brought home Lopsy, the most wonderful little puppy there ever was. Lopsy made things tough as my mother knew she would and while she fought for my dog and I as strongly as she could we would eventually be evicted from that cruddy little apartment in Housatonic. This eviction triggered a series of traumatic events that would ultimately lead to my decision to live in Leominster with my father. Lopsy or "the little baby" as she is affectionately known is a very special dog and my mother tells me that all of the children in her complex still believe her a puppy after all of these years. She also tells me that while she is not looking forward to saying goodbye to she is certain that Lopsy knows how loved she is. More and more I think on these things as I struggle to bring a sense of closure to a most tumultuous chapter in my life.
Failure is not an option.