slow and dreary
so it's been raining for a while now...and its supposed to rain for the next three years it seems. i guess its appropriate because it kinda matches my mood.
i'm almost into grad school and it seems like i still have the same problems in relationships. i guess i didnt realize that i could be a "girl" and not know it. its difficult thinking that i'll be living in my house for the rest of my life...but when i wonder what it is i did to the one i care about most, i remember marlon. now, dont get me wrong, marlon was far from the one i saw myself with for more than a few months. but when he started talking about taking me back to brazil with him...it gets a little scary. fuck it; it scared the shit outta me. it seems so final. and i guess i didnt put myself in those shoes. i want out, yes. but i would rather not lose him. it seems like a few people from my past keep popping out of the woodwork, so maybe i'll spend some time with them...without crowding him. i also need to focus on my food program so my moods dont get out of control...and a new pill to worry about. i dont need to get pregnant...ever. i have really been in the mood to write lately...but i have the urge to read at the same time. not really sure which i should do first. maybe i should clean my room. give the dogs a bath. exercise. call old friends before they leave again. i dunno. just a little down. i'm sure i'll be back up again soon. thanks for reading.
~*Sith*~
i'm almost into grad school and it seems like i still have the same problems in relationships. i guess i didnt realize that i could be a "girl" and not know it. its difficult thinking that i'll be living in my house for the rest of my life...but when i wonder what it is i did to the one i care about most, i remember marlon. now, dont get me wrong, marlon was far from the one i saw myself with for more than a few months. but when he started talking about taking me back to brazil with him...it gets a little scary. fuck it; it scared the shit outta me. it seems so final. and i guess i didnt put myself in those shoes. i want out, yes. but i would rather not lose him. it seems like a few people from my past keep popping out of the woodwork, so maybe i'll spend some time with them...without crowding him. i also need to focus on my food program so my moods dont get out of control...and a new pill to worry about. i dont need to get pregnant...ever. i have really been in the mood to write lately...but i have the urge to read at the same time. not really sure which i should do first. maybe i should clean my room. give the dogs a bath. exercise. call old friends before they leave again. i dunno. just a little down. i'm sure i'll be back up again soon. thanks for reading.
~*Sith*~