Goddamn those thinky thoughts
So I have been thinking ... really???!!!??
Hooray for self analysis. I just cant help it can I? It has me looking back over past conversations, considering the way I treat people, the way I react to situations, the things I do. And so often I find fault with myself. I see my selfishness bleeding through and then, in response to that selfishness that presents itself, I try to justify what I have done/said/thought/whatever. Urgh. I hate it sometimes. I half want to just be unapologetically myself and do as I please and to hell with what happens... pure ego I guess, or horribly enough, sometimes pure id. But then my rational self kicks in and reminds me that we live in a society, with all the constraints that go along with that. And most of all I can't ignore my impact on others because what right do I have to upset/impact on other people just because of my whims. Height of rudeness.
And so the cycle of thinkyness goes.
I am sorry. Were my actions ok? Did my words hurt you? It was only in fun ... I think. I only tease the people I like so with that thought I must like you HEAPS!!! And you tease me too. I know I nudge lines on occasion. My thoughtlessness was not intentional. How ever do you put up with me? Thank you for your understanding friendship. Hugs! ... More hugs. (I like hugs!)
Urgh.
Hooray for self analysis. I just cant help it can I? It has me looking back over past conversations, considering the way I treat people, the way I react to situations, the things I do. And so often I find fault with myself. I see my selfishness bleeding through and then, in response to that selfishness that presents itself, I try to justify what I have done/said/thought/whatever. Urgh. I hate it sometimes. I half want to just be unapologetically myself and do as I please and to hell with what happens... pure ego I guess, or horribly enough, sometimes pure id. But then my rational self kicks in and reminds me that we live in a society, with all the constraints that go along with that. And most of all I can't ignore my impact on others because what right do I have to upset/impact on other people just because of my whims. Height of rudeness.
And so the cycle of thinkyness goes.
I am sorry. Were my actions ok? Did my words hurt you? It was only in fun ... I think. I only tease the people I like so with that thought I must like you HEAPS!!! And you tease me too. I know I nudge lines on occasion. My thoughtlessness was not intentional. How ever do you put up with me? Thank you for your understanding friendship. Hugs! ... More hugs. (I like hugs!)
Urgh.