Wishes granted?
So here I am, stuck without a voice, and it has left me sitting in my own mind, thinking more than usual. But not in a bad way, which is a nice change. And tonight I have been thinking about my current state of enforced silence and I am reminded of how often I have wondered what it would be like to stop the chatter. And here I am. Wish granted? And I think of how often lately I have wanted a bit of time off - and so today and tomorrow I cant work. Wish granted? It makes me wonder what else I have been fervently wishing for lately in case it is granted in a slightly odd, mildly inconvenient way. It is often said that you should be careful what you wish for... and perhaps that is a saying for a very good reason.
The silence is pleasant. It is not silence in that there is no sound around me. I have been watching Dr Who, listening to music, all those things. It my own silence that I have been enjoying. I am in a job where I have to talk, all the time. And often about things that are not really important or inspiring. Children need to be conversed with, and that is what I do. As one of them noted yesterday when I was at work with no voice "It is odd not having you talk." I asked why that was, did I talk that much and he replied that he was missing talking to me. That he liked talking to me about stuff. That warmed my heart. I do really like that kid. SR is a lovely boy who I hope will keep his beautiful heart throughout his formative years. Now there is a wish that I hope comes true.
So it is not that I hate that I talk all the time. I am sure it is a legacy of my mother. I actually enjoy talking to people, interacting with them. But it is so nice to not. It is nice to step back because I cannot use my voice. It is almost like a holiday. I almost wrote that I wish it could last longer... but that is a wish I do not want to make. I really want to be vocal by Tuesday. I NEED to be vocal by tuesday so that I can work. And it is a job I am enjoying and I want to keep making a good impression at that school. So I think instead I will enjoy this vocal holiday, appreciate a silent life for a couple of days, rest my tired little vocal chords, and return to myself in a couple of days, fresh next week to take on the world once again.
The silence is pleasant. It is not silence in that there is no sound around me. I have been watching Dr Who, listening to music, all those things. It my own silence that I have been enjoying. I am in a job where I have to talk, all the time. And often about things that are not really important or inspiring. Children need to be conversed with, and that is what I do. As one of them noted yesterday when I was at work with no voice "It is odd not having you talk." I asked why that was, did I talk that much and he replied that he was missing talking to me. That he liked talking to me about stuff. That warmed my heart. I do really like that kid. SR is a lovely boy who I hope will keep his beautiful heart throughout his formative years. Now there is a wish that I hope comes true.
So it is not that I hate that I talk all the time. I am sure it is a legacy of my mother. I actually enjoy talking to people, interacting with them. But it is so nice to not. It is nice to step back because I cannot use my voice. It is almost like a holiday. I almost wrote that I wish it could last longer... but that is a wish I do not want to make. I really want to be vocal by Tuesday. I NEED to be vocal by tuesday so that I can work. And it is a job I am enjoying and I want to keep making a good impression at that school. So I think instead I will enjoy this vocal holiday, appreciate a silent life for a couple of days, rest my tired little vocal chords, and return to myself in a couple of days, fresh next week to take on the world once again.