Some days your the bug
Today was to be a glorious return to work, to find my place and resume kicking ass and taking names (discreetly removing the details afterwards to ensure all legislated privacy and security requirements were maintained) but instead I got to work to find out I had *insert choir of cherubs here* OFF PHONE TRAINING (Woot!)
However to my dismay it appears that none had bothered to inform me that instead of being merely two flights of stairs and a short stroll to the local training room I would need to haul ass across the CBD to the other 'central' training room. This I find out ten minutes after the start time of the training when the handouts went around and I thought to myself "hang on, I've already done this one"
So I grab the newb and use them as a block and tackle to get out of the building, flowing against the early morning intake of office workers, discarding my man-shield for the brisk morning air (8 degrees C anyone?) I skimmed through the quagmire of pedestrians towards the other end of town.
Twenty minutes later I arrived at the building and raced inside, shooting up 37 flights, having both my ears pop twice to remind me why I had taken several days off sick because of problems with my inner ear to arrive shedding tears to the swiper for the office.
With a grandios gesture I slipped my card through the swiper and Ta Da!. The little red light came on, so down I go again, sign on for a day pass to the site and then back up for another duet of ear punctures and a shiny green light to let me in.
'Pon arrival at the training room I took up my place at the computer, signed in for the training session and 'booted the PC. Huzzah we have electrons whizzing around, wait, what is this? Bad sectors? Disk check? Operatin system malfunction?
Another twenty minutes pass as I wait on the phone to speak with the technical support team to confirm the problems I am experiencing with the computer, yes this is the error, yes I have rebooted twice, yes that was the error message, yes I will reboot it again, thankyou I will await a technicians arrival.
Fortunately there was another machine available so I could slide across and work my magic fingers, caressing life into the keyboard, each soft stroke coaxing the machine with dulcet tones to my bidding before I mashed a fist full of password down its throat and logged in. Hard killing the applications which launch by default and smashing the autopop alerts issued by my employer to remind me to sit up straight, drink my water, watch my hold times and above all, have a nice day. :P
The time is now ten o'clock and I have barely begun to open my email and confirm there is nothing to advise which site I am supposed to be attending this training session when an alert over the speakers is made that we will be experiencing a fire drill shortly.
Congratulations, Now I get to WALK down 37 flights, plust three more into the basement to exit the building and spend the better part of the hour standing around in the park adjacent trying to avoid the football fever (AFL grand final is apparently coming up soon) which is hurling several small rubber and leather objects through the air and narrowly missing us.
Fire drill complete I get to enjoy another quick shot in the head as we go back up via the elevators to try and catch up on the training missed before lunch in half an hour.
After much sweat and cussing and rapid jamming of information into our brains we were released for lunch.
Yeah the day improved then.
Had a chance to spend the time relaxing, contemplating and moving at more or less my own pace. Was like bullet time in the matrix, all hell was flashing loose on all sides but in the middle everything was zen.
Beatiful day, perfect for laying on the grass and staring, well just staring, soak up the moment, holding close but not too tight, dont want to crush it with my clumsy meat hands.
Some things the human form was not meant to be able to express, some sort of transcendance is required.
And everything seemed better after that.