Office hours [all day]

[sith_happened]

Anakin was running a little behind today (for some reason Rory hadn't been all that anxious to let him leave the house...), but after getting a slightly garbled version of what had gone on last week, he had a feeling that people might be a little interested in checking in on him today

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[trigons_child]

Raven really wasn't ready to see anyone yet, but for one person she'd make an exception. She teleported herself to the school, and though she was trying to keep her emotions tightly shielded, she was probably leaking sorrow and guilt.

"Professor Skywalker?" she said hesitantly. She almost wasn't sure she could trust her eyes that he was there.

[I apologize in advance for emo girl. IT WAS A ROUGH WEEK OK?]

[sith_happened]

"Raven," Anakin said, looking a little alarmed at the emotions he was picking up. "Come in, please."

[trigons_child]

She took a few unsure steps into his office. She hadn't slept at all last night; her mind had been too filled with the nightmarish memories of the past week. She'd never met him in that other world, never learned to shield herself from other's emotions, and then had fallen into Umbridge's hands.

"I wanted to see that you were all right," she said quietly. "I know Fandom was restored to normal" -- she had no idea how that happened, though -- "but I just wanted to see...."

[sith_happened]

"That I'm alive?" Anakin replied with typical bluntness.

[trigons_child]

Raven nodded. "You were not there. I never met you. I never...learned to shield."

He could probably figure out what that did to her.

[sith_happened]

Anakin winced. "You lost control."

[trigons_child]

"I was overwhelmed," Raven said miserably. "I think I foolishly went to Headmistress Umbridge for aid. She put me in detention until all the pain and misery made me lose control, and then she bound my will with a spell so I would serve her."

She hadn't eaten anything that morning, which was fortunate because just thinking about what she'd done was making her stomach roil.

[sith_happened]

"Imperio?" Anakin guessed.

[trigons_child]

"I think that it what it was called," Raven said. She tried to clamp down on her emotions to prevent them from spiraling out of control as she went on. "It kept my demon side from manifesting, though when I became enraged I could almost break the bonds of the spell. I had to visit detention every day to torment the people kept there. I killed a student in town, I do not even know her name. And...I killed Sookie."

She had a long list of sins but that was at the top.

[sith_happened]

"Rory mentioned something about that," he said quietly. "She didn't know the student's name. Have you checked to see if she's all right today?"

[trigons_child]

"I do not know how to find the girl I murdered in town," Raven said. "I had never met her before. She was a telepath and a telekinetic, and she had long dark hair with a white streak. I had prayed it would be like the Fandom that was ruled by vampires and everyone who was killed would be restored to life." Like her!

"And Sookie...no, I have not tried," she confessed. "I fled to Selkie Peak to be alone once I was myself again and stayed there all night. I have been afraid to approach Sookie if she is even still on the island. And she probably does not want to see me." She could barely stand to look at herself. She could imagine how seeing her might feel to Sookie.

[sith_happened]

"Well, I came back, so let's be optimistic and assumed the casualties you inflicted weren't permanent," Anakin said. "Not that I think it matters overly much about how you view the last week..."

[trigons_child]

No, she was going to be wallowing in guilt for awhile.

"I know logically I was not truly myself, but my memories are filled with torturing my friends," Raven said. "Because I was instructed to do so, and...because I enjoyed it." It sickened her to think of just how much she'd enjoyed it.

"I hurt people I love so much. I do not know how to face them now." Sookie, of course. Jono, Bobby, Cassidy, Rinoa, Dinah, Warren. Karla she'd talked to a little in her mind, but she still wasn't sure how to go about actually seeing her.

"But I am so very happy you are all right. I do not want a world that you are not in ever again."

[sith_happened]

Anakin smiled at the sentiment before getting back to the real heart of the matter. "You can't hide from them," he said. "They weren't their true selves either, after all. They'll understand."

Well. Probably.

[trigons_child]

"But I have used my gifts against them...again," Raven said, shaking her head. "How can they trust me? They know what is inside me. I am not certain I can even trust myself anymore."

[sith_happened]

"We can work on your shielding again," Anakin replied, seizing on something he could do. Emotions were not exactly his forte. "I'd wanted to anyway before you left the island."