the meaning of life..
.. i have still not found for myself, yet, recently i have stopped persuing that answer with as much persistance as i once did, as i am so content.. Ignorance really is bliss, i must say. and so is finding someone that no matter what the day brings, they can just hold you and worries melt away.. it's fucking fantastic.
I finally got the closure i was seeking, and am happy about that as well. Now my head and heart can be totally focused on the present and future, and no longer linger in the past, holding on to false hopes. It was a wake-up call and realization i could never replace or reinstate anything better than what i have right now. as numerous as my past mistakes have been, i have successfully been able to learn and grow from them, not to make them again. That has taken me forever to learn.. awesome..
my family is doing better, for which i couldnt be more grateful... dad is staying, that is a plus.. mom is down to 3 month intervals for check ups... joey, well... the poor kid, i really feel for him, but he's down to 6 month intervals for scans and things, and his recent eye surgeries are healing. my only regret is i need to spend more time with them. it will get harder with the holidays coming, i know that, but i will try. Because no matter how much you disagree with your family, or cant reason with them at all, they are your family and you can't change it, and you will always have them and love them.. cherish them and keep them close, for all their quirks.. I love that i have come to appreciate them, after all these years...
so essentially this is just my life ramble, the point of which being, i am happy, and i think, it is truly for the first time, ever. the feeling is fantastic, and i hope this last... if it doesn't, well, at least i know what happiness feels like... yeah... awesome.
and in case i still actually have friends who read this... I will be throwing a kick-ass halloween party this year, on the date, and you're invited. msg me or call me if you have my number... xoxox!!!
I finally got the closure i was seeking, and am happy about that as well. Now my head and heart can be totally focused on the present and future, and no longer linger in the past, holding on to false hopes. It was a wake-up call and realization i could never replace or reinstate anything better than what i have right now. as numerous as my past mistakes have been, i have successfully been able to learn and grow from them, not to make them again. That has taken me forever to learn.. awesome..
my family is doing better, for which i couldnt be more grateful... dad is staying, that is a plus.. mom is down to 3 month intervals for check ups... joey, well... the poor kid, i really feel for him, but he's down to 6 month intervals for scans and things, and his recent eye surgeries are healing. my only regret is i need to spend more time with them. it will get harder with the holidays coming, i know that, but i will try. Because no matter how much you disagree with your family, or cant reason with them at all, they are your family and you can't change it, and you will always have them and love them.. cherish them and keep them close, for all their quirks.. I love that i have come to appreciate them, after all these years...
so essentially this is just my life ramble, the point of which being, i am happy, and i think, it is truly for the first time, ever. the feeling is fantastic, and i hope this last... if it doesn't, well, at least i know what happiness feels like... yeah... awesome.
and in case i still actually have friends who read this... I will be throwing a kick-ass halloween party this year, on the date, and you're invited. msg me or call me if you have my number... xoxox!!!