Closure.
I have a problem with saying goodbye.
I need closure.
I always need closure and when it's denied...destruction which is never final. Cycle of mental self-destruction.
I don't want to see that bus stop.
And there are still so many things I want to say to you. I still feel the need to hold you and tell you I love you. I need to beg for forgiveness, like a pilgrim before she sets off on her journey of self-purification and enlightenment. I understand you more now, and I wish that I could change everything I did. I'm trying my hardest to keep away and pretend I'm okay with everything, because that's what I would want from the other person were I in your position. I'm trying to change who I am for you, to avoid angering you, and I am trying to change who I am for me. I am trying to be balanced. I am trying so hard to not love you, not adore you. I'm trying not to make you my surrogate muse while my muse is far away, but he won't be far away physically soon, but he will always be distant.
Is it that the unattainable becomes the worshiped?
I love you.
I need closure.
I always need closure and when it's denied...destruction which is never final. Cycle of mental self-destruction.
I don't want to see that bus stop.
And there are still so many things I want to say to you. I still feel the need to hold you and tell you I love you. I need to beg for forgiveness, like a pilgrim before she sets off on her journey of self-purification and enlightenment. I understand you more now, and I wish that I could change everything I did. I'm trying my hardest to keep away and pretend I'm okay with everything, because that's what I would want from the other person were I in your position. I'm trying to change who I am for you, to avoid angering you, and I am trying to change who I am for me. I am trying to be balanced. I am trying so hard to not love you, not adore you. I'm trying not to make you my surrogate muse while my muse is far away, but he won't be far away physically soon, but he will always be distant.
Is it that the unattainable becomes the worshiped?
I love you.