no subject...pastel on my fingers

[sistertampica]

i'm so very exhausted right now.
so very sick except i'm not, i have a sick feeling.
i just drew a picture of some weird chick with a lot of colors in her hair.
i don't know her.
i don't think anyone would look like her anyway.
i made her up.
i'm making up pictures, not copying them.
its been awhile since i've done that.
i don't like copying pictures anymore.
its like i can't draw the things i see anymore.
maybe i could if i really tried, but i don't want to.
i don't have a set picture in my head of what i want to draw, i just start drawing things and it becomes something.
dad dad dad.
doesn't he know that its just a name?
a name that he didn't earn anyway.
i'd rather call him edward.
if he talks to me soon, he will either ask how i feel about him
or carry on another pointless conversation.
i just hope he doesn't call.
or doesn't call me, call steph.
she can tell him now that she doesn't want to talk.