I watched the first episode of the US "How to Look Good Naked" and it made me all happy inside--yay for the girl to figure out she's pretty! There was only one moment that annoyed me because it referenced my pet peeve. When they put the girl's body on the side of a building and asked passersby what they thought of it most people complimented her,
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Yes! And that's a great example about him getting out of bed, because that's part of it, the intimacy of seeing somebody scruffy and personal and completely imperfect. It's that it's *him* getting out of bed. That's far more sexy than a perfectly sculpted model getting out of bed. Pajamas can sometimes help too--like, whatever the person sleeps in, a rumpled tee-shirt, shorts, stuff like that. It's personal to that character.
And I totally agree about HP stuff. For whatever reason, we do get *a lot* of idealizing, where the character is only funny-looking if they're not the love object. Sometimes it's so blatant as to turn a character into something else, but it's a good author who can recreate the kind of feeling you're describing. There have been times I've got that with Maya's fic with her Draco--I'll get a picture in my mind of a frankly skinny chest with collar bones sticking out and scars and it will be both very flawed by also very attractive.
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LOL-the other day my roommate had some reason to mention Emma Watson. I think something about Ballet Shoes (she loves that book). I think I said something about the adaptation and she said, "Oh yeah, isn't that the one with...stupid?" Remember she's not in fandom, hasn't seen the movies--that that was the word that came to mind in her vague attempt to indicate the girl.
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