(no subject)
so you know how you look for things when you know you shouldnt because it'll turn out bad? well it turns out my computer has an AIM log thingy, and every convo ive ever had with people is on my hard drive. so i started to read. i shouldn't have.
livefortravis182: hi scott guess wat
scottt106: ummm,
scottt106: it really was AIDS water?
livefortravis182: im thinking so, im not feeling good
livefortravis182: but something else
scottt106: oh
livefortravis182: pat got me flowers for our one month
scottt106: awww
scottt106: how cute
livefortravis182: flowers are very sweet for one months
livefortravis182: dont you agree every guy shuld do that?
scottt106: ya, I wish I had a bf that would buy me flowers
livefortravis182: aww its okay hunny, it'll be your turn one day
scottt106: thanks
livefortravis182: np, im here for you
scottt106: but I dont understand, are you trying to hint at something?
livefortravis182: you need a bf?
livefortravis182: but besides that, no
scottt106: oh, allright
livefortravis182: ...
scottt106: ummmm,
livefortravis182: so...what do you think?
scottt106: you're allergic to flowers, and this is just your way of releasing your pain w/o being too... something
livefortravis182: thats so close to right
scottt106: lol
livefortravis182: so, tell me, you and katies one month coming up sumtime? its been about one month right? am i the only one counting?
scottt106: ya, I think it's just you keeping track
livefortravis182: i guess so
livefortravis182: i hear flowers are nice this time of year
scottt106: really?
livefortravis182: oh yah
scottt106: my mom has a vegetable garden,
scottt106: what do you think of green peppers?
livefortravis182: i like them
livefortravis182: but off subject
scottt106: oh...
livefortravis182: we're talking flowers ya know
scottt106: ooh, ya
livefortravis182: right right, flowers
scottt106: I dont really like flowers.
livefortravis182: you should get flowers for someone special then
scottt106: oooo,
scottt106: my mommy is really special!
livefortravis182: of course
livefortravis182: but she has vegatables
scottt106: you're right,
scottt106: she needs fruit!
livefortravis182: lol
livefortravis182: flowers are not fruit
livefortravis182: altho...
livefortravis182: sum flowers ae edible
scottt106: ooo
scottt106: I had a really really big one in CA
scottt106: it was like a monster
scottt106: looked like a tree
livefortravis182: a flower?
livefortravis182: or a fruit?
scottt106: sun flower
livefortravis182: ooh
scottt106: hold on, ill brb
livefortravis182: flowers in general are nice
livefortravis182: noo
livefortravis182: flowers!!
scottt106: back
scottt106: no flowers?
livefortravis182: nono, flowers!
scottt106: you're contradicting yourself
livefortravis182: lol no, yes to flowers!
livefortravis182: no i am not contradicting myself
livefortravis182: yes to flowers
scottt106: now I'm just confused
scottt106: I'll just stay away from flowers
scottt106: just in case
livefortravis182: lol scott!
scottt106: yellowcard concert on thursday
scottt106: you should go cuz I cant
livefortravis182: hey
livefortravis182: wait
livefortravis182: isnt there sum other special thing on that day?
scottt106: mmm,
scottt106: half day?
livefortravis182: i dont think so
livefortravis182: is there?
scottt106: I dunno
scottt106: you brought it up
livefortravis182: no, i brought up flowers
scottt106: oh
scottt106: well let's just drop the whole thing
livefortravis182: okay
livefortravis182: deal
livefortravis182: buy flowers
scottt106: I dont get it...
livefortravis182: why i keep bringing up flowers?
livefortravis182: i dont either
livefortravis182: lets talk about sumthing else
scottt106: k,
scottt106: how's the weather over there?
livefortravis182: oh you know
livefortravis182: dark
livefortravis182: kinda wet
scottt106: wow,
scottt106: same here!
scottt106: we have so much in common
livefortravis182: i know
livefortravis182: we shuld be best friends
scottt106: seriously
livefortravis182: well im off to bed
livefortravis182: to dream
livefortravis182: about flowers
livefortravis182: because they are nice
scottt106: I think you have some kind of obsession
scottt106: and you need help
scottt106: and to do my part, I'll never meantion flowers again
livefortravis182: scott!
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sk8er4u89: you know how sometimes you hate one person so much for how they treat you,
sk8er4u89: but then one little thing makes you miss them?
konstantine2386: yes.
sk8er4u89: how do you make that stop?
konstantine2386: i don’t know. i guess you have to think about all the bad qualities that they have, so then you can be assured that it’s all for the best. don’t hate them tho, hating someone is stupid.
sk8er4u89: do you even know what im saying?
sk8er4u89: because if you don’t its okay or whatever
konstantine2386: no, i know.
sk8er4u89: do you hate that one guy you went out with?
konstantine2386: i hate him for the way he acts, i don’t hate him in general.
sk8er4u89: does he still mean something to you?
konstantine2386: well he was my best friend for three months before i went out with him for half an f-ing year, ive never gotten so close to someone so quick as i did to him, so it’s different. i miss the way he used to be.
sk8er4u89: he changed?
konstantine2386: it felt like he used me, when he first moved here because he didn’t know anyone and then the summer happened and now he rolls with a different crowd that im not a part of, and i cant go back to my old crowd because miranda doesn’t want me there. i still don’t mind her, but she minds me, so im stuck kinda not belonging anywhere.
sk8er4u89: so how do you get unstuck? because i think that’s my problem, im stuck in the rut of old routine you know?
konstantine2386: yah. uhmm... im not sure.
sk8er4u89: yah, it sucks not knowing what to do doesn’t it?
konstantine2386: definetly.
those two conversations, the first from last october-ish and the second from about a week ago, sum it up.
i wish i could hate some people, but i just cant. so they hate me, i get hurt, and i let it happen.
i need... the twisted 11, because im going on dec. 3rd to see the used, tbs and my chemicle romance. then brandon bought me a ticket to see fob on the 30th, which is the day after my birfday. he only bought one ticket. i guess he doesnt want to go with me, huh?
fuck you.