Someone please help me explain why this is so very wrong to do
Dear flist, I received THIS PM in my mailbox this morning:
Hi! I saw that you identified yourself as Muslim in the Community episode 2.05 discussion thread, and I was hoping you would be willing to lend me your perspective on a fic I'm working on, specifically on whether a particular plot point might be considered offensive or otherwise problematic. I don't think it would, but I'm not Muslim so what do I know? Anyway, let me know if you're willing and I'll follow up with the specifics. Thanks!
Ok my reaction right now to her request? "HELL. NO" that is not what I am going to say to her when I decline, and I do so intend to decline but at this point I wonder am I being unfair? Is my reaction extreme? Oh flist friends of many colors and backgrounds, please tell me how YOU would feel in this situation. So for those sitting here now going "wait, why is this a problem?" Let me share with you my feelings about this.
Why does this person think, that I of thousands of muslims who may surf the net and may stumble upon her fic, would be able to tell her, how all of us would react to a part of her fic? I am but ONE muslim, we do not I promise you, all agree on the same things. What is offensive to me, is not offensive to another muslim. So it goes for all groups of people! I saw this very thing in action in a wank that came up recently in the inception fandom (that I am not in btw) where there was disagreement over a line in a fic, whether it was offensive to a certain race/ethnic group, and people from that VERY group debated it to hell and back. Because all POC do not agree on the same shit! That is problem one though of numerous problems I have with this. On a more personal level, it puts me on the spot, its like if I tell her to fuck off or rather more nicely say "no I'm sorry I cannot do it" do I look like a stuck up bitch? Now I gotta worry cause I wont just become a bitch in fandom I'll be the one who is muslim and "hostile" maybe she wont take it that way, but SHE COULD, it can happen believe me. But then what if I make my people all look bad now? Do I have to say yes so they will look super nice and welcoming to random strangers asking them for stuff even though I am kind of a misanthropic jerk anyway? But like to pretend I am not in fandom. Because its nice having people think you are nice! I got used to being called a bitch by half the world already anyway in my RL.
Furthermore what if I allow her to think this is ok to do, will she ask me again for "advice" on stuff like this? Maybe she will tell her friends "hey Tai is cool, go ahead and ask her all you want about muslim stuff!" and now I get loads of PMs from people I DO NOT KNOW and have NEVER spoken to (that's right I dont know this girl and never spoke ot her in my life but it is ok for her t PM me about a personal aspect of my life and ask me a favor) asking me questions that I cannot really answer or know the answer to. and Its like I am a busy person man! I dont even help my actual friends with their fics.
and Shit what if i told her its not offensive and muslims see it and think that it WAS offensive? Now what? Am I a liar now? Am I a bad muslim? Am I now the one on the spot and have to take responsibility for those words that are not mine? Maybe this sounds super serious but since I do take offensive shit in fandom and fanfics SERIOUSLY I would hate to be semi responsible for any of it. I dont want that responsibility! I dont WANT to be the spokesperson of my faith in community fandom or any fandom! That is heavy shit and I am just there for fun! Fun stuff! Stuff that has nothing to do with my personal life!
I only mentioned my faith at all (and I never mention it outside of social issue/justice comms usually for this VERY reason) because Abed in the show is a muslim and I do relate with him on a few things, and there were several occasions where people in the comm who are NOT muslims were making assumptions on what Abed as a muslim would know about Jesus (because he is a very important prophet to us yes thats true but that does not mean every Muslim is an expert or even that knowledgeable on Jesus. JSYK) and apparently one or two people thought it would more than a bare little, and I was like "um ACTUALLY it depends and I am muslim and dont know much at all about Jesus" and I went to religious school too!
But apparently that was a mistake because now I am getting PMs like that one up there. But hey! Maybe I am just crazy and should not feel like I have been very put upon. I know there are muslim girls on my flist too, how about you girls? Would you feel ok with this kind of request from a stranger online?
Hi! I saw that you identified yourself as Muslim in the Community episode 2.05 discussion thread, and I was hoping you would be willing to lend me your perspective on a fic I'm working on, specifically on whether a particular plot point might be considered offensive or otherwise problematic. I don't think it would, but I'm not Muslim so what do I know? Anyway, let me know if you're willing and I'll follow up with the specifics. Thanks!
Ok my reaction right now to her request? "HELL. NO" that is not what I am going to say to her when I decline, and I do so intend to decline but at this point I wonder am I being unfair? Is my reaction extreme? Oh flist friends of many colors and backgrounds, please tell me how YOU would feel in this situation. So for those sitting here now going "wait, why is this a problem?" Let me share with you my feelings about this.
Why does this person think, that I of thousands of muslims who may surf the net and may stumble upon her fic, would be able to tell her, how all of us would react to a part of her fic? I am but ONE muslim, we do not I promise you, all agree on the same things. What is offensive to me, is not offensive to another muslim. So it goes for all groups of people! I saw this very thing in action in a wank that came up recently in the inception fandom (that I am not in btw) where there was disagreement over a line in a fic, whether it was offensive to a certain race/ethnic group, and people from that VERY group debated it to hell and back. Because all POC do not agree on the same shit! That is problem one though of numerous problems I have with this. On a more personal level, it puts me on the spot, its like if I tell her to fuck off or rather more nicely say "no I'm sorry I cannot do it" do I look like a stuck up bitch? Now I gotta worry cause I wont just become a bitch in fandom I'll be the one who is muslim and "hostile" maybe she wont take it that way, but SHE COULD, it can happen believe me. But then what if I make my people all look bad now? Do I have to say yes so they will look super nice and welcoming to random strangers asking them for stuff even though I am kind of a misanthropic jerk anyway? But like to pretend I am not in fandom. Because its nice having people think you are nice! I got used to being called a bitch by half the world already anyway in my RL.
Furthermore what if I allow her to think this is ok to do, will she ask me again for "advice" on stuff like this? Maybe she will tell her friends "hey Tai is cool, go ahead and ask her all you want about muslim stuff!" and now I get loads of PMs from people I DO NOT KNOW and have NEVER spoken to (that's right I dont know this girl and never spoke ot her in my life but it is ok for her t PM me about a personal aspect of my life and ask me a favor) asking me questions that I cannot really answer or know the answer to. and Its like I am a busy person man! I dont even help my actual friends with their fics.
and Shit what if i told her its not offensive and muslims see it and think that it WAS offensive? Now what? Am I a liar now? Am I a bad muslim? Am I now the one on the spot and have to take responsibility for those words that are not mine? Maybe this sounds super serious but since I do take offensive shit in fandom and fanfics SERIOUSLY I would hate to be semi responsible for any of it. I dont want that responsibility! I dont WANT to be the spokesperson of my faith in community fandom or any fandom! That is heavy shit and I am just there for fun! Fun stuff! Stuff that has nothing to do with my personal life!
I only mentioned my faith at all (and I never mention it outside of social issue/justice comms usually for this VERY reason) because Abed in the show is a muslim and I do relate with him on a few things, and there were several occasions where people in the comm who are NOT muslims were making assumptions on what Abed as a muslim would know about Jesus (because he is a very important prophet to us yes thats true but that does not mean every Muslim is an expert or even that knowledgeable on Jesus. JSYK) and apparently one or two people thought it would more than a bare little, and I was like "um ACTUALLY it depends and I am muslim and dont know much at all about Jesus" and I went to religious school too!
But apparently that was a mistake because now I am getting PMs like that one up there. But hey! Maybe I am just crazy and should not feel like I have been very put upon. I know there are muslim girls on my flist too, how about you girls? Would you feel ok with this kind of request from a stranger online?