Immortalis Caris - Chapter 13 - Trusting
Immortalis Caris - Chapter 13
There was hardly any traffic on Highway 501 West heading out of Los Alamos. The plows had been through once, the road was manageable, but the snow intimidated the desert people. This? This is nothing. Piece of cake.
Carlisle had grown up in Wisconsin winters -- learned to drive in a blizzard in an old stick-shift pick-up. He had been under legal age - 14 in February that year - but Dad had been sick with jaundice and he just didn’t have a choice. Or did I? What would my life have been like if I had just let him lie there and die?
He turned his mind back to the road and the task at hand. I can’t believe I’m actually doing this. I’m driving the dead body of my rival out to the country to dump it. I’m a nurse! I’m supposed to hold life sacred. Who am I and how did I become this person?
He looked over at his passenger, who said nothing, but acknowledged his thoughts with compassion behind a crooked smile. It made his heart ache in a way he imagined others knew well. But this was all new to him. Nobody had ever looked at him quite like that.
She has no idea what she does to me. The first time I fall in love, and this is what I chose? You are out of your fucking mind, Carlisle.
Oh shit.
He was afraid to look at her again, embarrassed. Her hand reached over to gently cover his, and she squeezed it. She continued to look out the window, but the smile had grown a little fuller.
“I might as well just say everything out loud, right? I will never get used to this!”
She pointed to the road ahead. “Carlisle, turn here.”
“Camp May Trail? Where are we going exactly?”
“Jess wanted to return to Indian land when he died. I would like to do as he wished.”
He swung the truck swung right, onto the unplowed mountain road, leaving the main highway behind. The headlights were now the only illumination other than the moon and their reflection off the snow.
“You sure picked a hell of night to go trekking!”
Despite his wariness, the truck’s tires handled the road confidently, without slippage, as if delighted to have some real challenge other than paved city streets for once. He shifted in his seat and got a firm, comfortable grip on the steering wheel, keeping a steady speed at what he supposed was the dead center of the two lane road. Without visible lines, he figured he’d just center the vehicle between the guard rails and the mountain sides as they climbed.
“He was Native American, then?”
“His mother was. His father was white. He never knew his father.”
That could be a blessing. “And you? Did you ever know your father?”
“I was taken from my parents when I was an infant. That’s all I was told. I don’t remember either one of them.”
“Oh. Who raised you?”
“Who... or what...” she murmured. “My guardian was called Nukpana by the locals. It means “evil” in the Hopi language, but there’s a kind of respect behind it. She wasn’t evil, she was just -- a completely different creature from them. She was considered very powerful. The few people we came in contact with called her a medicine man, but... the clearest thing way to describe her is... she was... like me.” She glanced at him to ascertain his response. “She raised me as her daughter until I reached a certain age, and then she changed me.”
“What do you mean, ‘changed you’?
“She made me different, like she was.”
“You mean... the thing with the... blood.”
She was silent for a pause, then answered, “And other things...”
It was his turn to hesitate. “What sort of ‘other things’, exactly?”
They drove on for a minute, the truck’s hard-working engine comforting in its strong and reliable thrumming as they peered into the stark alien landscape outside the glass.
“Strength, for instance,” she offered.
“Yeah, I noticed,” he laughed. “I remember wondering how on earth you could knock Jess to the floor. I thought I had imagined it. But I didn’t imagine that, did I?”
She didn’t answer.
“Is your grip as good as your lift? It’s a little intimidating considering...” he cleared his throat, “considering the way you handle me ... considering the way you manipulate those delicate puzzles... you must have a lot of control.”
“Yes,” she smiled. “I have developed control -- over time.”
“What else?”
“Well, I don’t injure easily, and I heal very quickly.”
“Did you do something to me when Jess hit me? Did... did you give me medicine?”
Her eyes seemed to glint at him in the half-darkness. “I think you know the answer to that already, Carlisle.”
“No l don’t,” he shook his head in denial. “No.”
“Acceptance gets easier with time,” she said in a low voice.
She felt his mood shift as he wrestled with the memory of drinking her blood. He was putting the truth together, and he wasn’t handling it well. Her nostrils flared. She casually covered her nose and mouth with her hand. She sensed his heart was speeding up, his skin temperature changing, his breath escalating.
She didn’t wait for his next question, but tried to guide the conversation to achieve a more neutral emotional field, hoping to distract him.
“My senses are different... hearing, touch, taste, smell, sight... all quite keen...” As soon as she finished the sentence, she knew she had made it worse. She felt his defenses rise. She could taste his adrenaline in the air.
”Like an animal?” he said guardedly. The wildcat-like metaphors he had applied to her suddenly seemed very literal, and though he tried to push it away, the image of the creature he had seen on top of Jess invaded his mind in disjointed flashes, in terrifying detail. “Like a predator...”
His brow furrowed. Dread crawled across his skin. He tried desperately not to let his fear form words in his mind, but... the harder he tried, the clearer the words came... Fuck.
“There’s no reason to be afraid, Carlisle.”
Fuck me.
“Stop, Carlisle.”
His foot hit the brake. His hand went to the door handle. He gripped it tightly so the shaking would not show, but he knew she could smell his fear.
“Calm, caris, calm,” she urged. She reached out to touch him. He drew in a sharp breath and flinched. “I would never hurt you,” she whispered.
“Oh really?” he struggled to keep his voice steady. “Did you ever say that to Jess? You hurt Jess. You killed Jess.”
“You know why I had to do that.”
“Yeah. You were hungry.”
“No. That wasn’t the reason.”
“Are you hungry now?” he asked in a whisper. He held himself stiffly in place, restricting the flight response by sheer force of will. You are in the middle of fucking nowhere, Carlisle.
“Absolutely not. Stop this, Carlisle. Please.”
She reached for the passenger window button and lowered the glass. The cold air hit him like a slap, but it helped. He felt more in control. He gained the presence of mind to put the truck in Park.
She opened her door, and stepped out into the snow. She slowly backed away from the truck. He eyed her every step. She lowered her head and spread her arms at her sides, palms out -- a pacifying gesture.
His heartbeat started to slow. He took deeper breaths. She looked up, but didn’t look at him directly. She hazarded a couple of steps towards him, then paused, tasting his reaction. He remained stable, so she approached. He was still shaking and his teeth were beginning to chatter, but she knew it was from cold now, not from fear.
She approached cautiously but confidently, touching the open door, then pausing to meet his eyes. She smiled with her eyes alone, giving him time to adjust, to accept her presence on his own terms.
“It’s cold, Carlisle.”
The temperature didn’t bother her at all, but he didn’t know that. He was a fragile human who needed protection from the harsh elements. She lifted herself onto the seat, kicked the snow from her shoes and gently clicked the door closed. The heater was still running, and immediately began to re-warm the cab. Carlisle’s body began to relax. She touched his hand with the back of her own. He didn’t withdraw. She drew it slowly up his arm and over his shoulder. She touched his cheek, and he leaned his head almost imperceptibly towards her.
She turned to him, one knee on the bench seat, and leaned in to hover at his jaw with her lips and breath. He groaned and shifted, turning suddenly to take her mouth with his with an eagerness she hadn’t quite anticipated.
This pleased her. She wasn’t used to being surprised. Maybe he was already learning to block her, or maybe she had been distracted and hadn’t tuned in. Maybe he was thinking without language -- which was much harder to read.
As he tasted her tongue, she knew he was trying to read her the only way he knew how, and she smiled through the kiss. She gave him the images he sought -- imbued with emotion -- her affection for him, protectiveness of him, desire for a relationship. She fed him images of seduction, drawing from the fantasies she had collected from his mind. His body responded without hesitation, some evidence he had left behind the anxiety, and was willing to trust her again.
Her right hand entered his jacket, opened his shirt, then slipped smoothly under the long underwear to connect with his skin. He slid towards her and she moved backwards to allow him to free himself from the restriction of the steering wheel.
She straddled his lap, pushing the undershirt up to uncover his chest. She took each nipple in her mouth in turn, softly circling them with her tongue, squeezing them with pillowed lips. She licked upward across them, applying pressure and intensity. She unfastened his jeans, and he lifted his hips just enough for her to lower them to the tops of his thighs. She returned to his nipples, enveloping them in her mouth’s soft wetness, sucking hard now, grazing them with her teeth until he whimpered -- for mercy and for more -- head thrown back against the seat.
She knelt on the floorboard between his legs, pulling him toward her.
Tongue and lips, hands and fingers, cheeks and nose all coordinated as she took him far, far from the restive state into which he had fallen when he had let himself doubt and fear her. She listened to his body, she attended every breath, sound and movement, playing him like an instrument. There was no denying his ultimate vulnerability; nothing in him wanted anything but what was offered in that present moment.
Finally, she took him deep, slowly encasing the tip of his cock in the wet, smooth tightness of her long throat. She held him there, not breathing, and he held his own breath in anticipation, waiting for movement to send another wave of excruciating pleasure through him. She swallowed, he gasped for oxygen. She hummed, his breath stuttered; his fingers dug into the plush upholstery until they hurt. She held him there, suspended in a cruel ecstasy.
He reached under her hair for the back of her neck and pressed forward very slightly, touching the back wall of her throat, voicing an almost incoherent “please...” She contracted her throat muscles, tightly holding his trembling legs as she drew his release from him.
She laid her head on his chest, and held him until he was able to function. He bent down to kiss the top of her head with something like reverence. She nuzzled into his chest for a minute, then lowered his undershirt, smoothing it against his body with care. She helped him dress, and though he actively participated, it was almost absent-minded. His focus was on the face and hands that had just brought him so much pleasure and peace.
She rose to sit beside him in the seat, holding his right hand in both of hers. “It’s not much further now,” she offered. He nodded, slipped back behind the wheel, released the break, and put the vehicle in Drive once again. They moved forward in silence for fifteen more minutes before Dee motioned to a guardrail on the side of the road. “Here.”
He pulled over, and she turned to him solemnly. “This part I have to do alone.” She touched his cheek. “You have to trust me now. You need to stay here to stay warm. I will be gone 30 minutes or so. Do not worry. Do not follow me. The cold doesn’t affect me. I can see in very low light.” She paused, sensing all the questions that were tumbling around in his head, but he offered none of them so she pressed on. “I know what I’m doing, Carlisle. Please do not leave the truck. Do not. Do you promise me?”
“I guess so,” Carlisle didn’t know what else to say. He felt a bit bewildered, but -- there was no way he wanted to go out into this snow at night, in the dark... it was crazy... but she had been doing this kind of thing for... how many years? She was unimaginably capable in so many other ways. This was not his game... he’d have to trust...
“Promise.”
“I- I promise. But--” She waited, though she knew every question before he spoke it. “Where are you going? What if you don’t come back?”
“There is a small cave just a short distance from here. I’m going to put Jess there and seal it. I’ve been there before, with Jess. It is what he wanted. He will never be found. Don’t worry. This...” she waved at the hostile white landscape around them, “is not a problem for me. Even if you left me here, I could get back.” He looked at her incredulously and sputtered a laugh. “I know this is difficult to accept, but you must do this for your own protection. You must trust me, OK? If I am concerned about anything, it is only your safety.”
He sighed and nodded.
She was out of the truck and rolling back the truck bed cover moments later. She dragged the body from the back with one hand then replaced the cover. He wondered if the body had started to freeze. He watched in amazement as she almost casually slung the bundle over her back and disappeared with it downhill off the side of the road.
He turned off the truck engine to conserve gas. She’ll be back. She’ll be back. She said she’ll be back. I would never leave her here, that’s ridiculous! I’ll wait as long as I have to.
He looked at the clock. 11:17. He dug behind the seat and found an Indian blanket. He wrapped it around his legs for extra warmth. He opened the glove compartment and saw a pack of Jess’s Marlboros. This reminded him he had his own cigarettes, so he pulled one out and lit it. He cracked the window a bit to let the smoke out. It’s gonna get cold in here, but there’s plenty of fuel. I can start the engine if I need to. We’ll be OK. We.... will be OK.
The cigarette was just as unsatisfying as before, but he finished it just to have something to do. Finally, he threw the butt out the window and shut out the outside air. 11:28. Time was crawling. He could see his breath in the cab now, but he decided arbitrarily he wouldn’t turn on the engine and the heater until 11:47 -- at the earliest. She’ll be back before then. He put his gloves on. He yawned. You’ve had enough sleep, Sleeping Fucking Beauty, you can stay awake now.
He awoke with a start. He focused on the clock. 12:10. Shit! Almost an hour! Where the hell is she? He reached for the ignition keys but his hands were so stiff with cold he could barely move them. He got the engine started and the heat going, but it was a good five minutes before the heater was warm enough to do any good. Finally, he was defrosted enough to stop shaking and think clearly.
He looked out into the moonlit night, straining his eyes to peer at the spot where she had disappeared. Well, I’ve got to do something. He turned off the engine and turned on the headlights. He exited the truck and made his way over to the road’s edge. He looked down the embankment and was horrified to see it was extremely steep. He could still see where she had made her way down the treeless slope, the added weight of Jess’s body obscuring the usual crisp appearance of footprints.
“Carlisle.”
He started at the sound of her voice behind him, but it turned into relief as he spun to face her. She’s back! Thank God!
“Is this how you keep promises?” she smiled, leaning against the passenger door.
He pulled himself together so he didn’t look like such a wimpy, blithering idiot. “Just getting some air,” he mumbled unconvincingly.
“Right.” She was duly unconvinced.
He approached and opened the door for her. “You said thirty minutes.” The steam of his breath billowed around her. It was impossible to keep the resentment from trickling into his voice.
She got in, and turned to him with a mischievous smile. “Are you coming?”
He hid his own grin as he circled the truck to the driver’s side.
Soon, they were retracing their path down the mountain. She sat close to him. He had one hand on the wheel, one arm around her, his hand stroking her hair absentmindedly as they descended in a comfortable silence that, for him at least, had that rare infusion of something like contentment.
…..ll x ll x ll x ll…..
Chapter 14
There was hardly any traffic on Highway 501 West heading out of Los Alamos. The plows had been through once, the road was manageable, but the snow intimidated the desert people. This? This is nothing. Piece of cake.
Carlisle had grown up in Wisconsin winters -- learned to drive in a blizzard in an old stick-shift pick-up. He had been under legal age - 14 in February that year - but Dad had been sick with jaundice and he just didn’t have a choice. Or did I? What would my life have been like if I had just let him lie there and die?
He turned his mind back to the road and the task at hand. I can’t believe I’m actually doing this. I’m driving the dead body of my rival out to the country to dump it. I’m a nurse! I’m supposed to hold life sacred. Who am I and how did I become this person?
He looked over at his passenger, who said nothing, but acknowledged his thoughts with compassion behind a crooked smile. It made his heart ache in a way he imagined others knew well. But this was all new to him. Nobody had ever looked at him quite like that.
She has no idea what she does to me. The first time I fall in love, and this is what I chose? You are out of your fucking mind, Carlisle.
Oh shit.
He was afraid to look at her again, embarrassed. Her hand reached over to gently cover his, and she squeezed it. She continued to look out the window, but the smile had grown a little fuller.
“I might as well just say everything out loud, right? I will never get used to this!”
She pointed to the road ahead. “Carlisle, turn here.”
“Camp May Trail? Where are we going exactly?”
“Jess wanted to return to Indian land when he died. I would like to do as he wished.”
He swung the truck swung right, onto the unplowed mountain road, leaving the main highway behind. The headlights were now the only illumination other than the moon and their reflection off the snow.
“You sure picked a hell of night to go trekking!”
Despite his wariness, the truck’s tires handled the road confidently, without slippage, as if delighted to have some real challenge other than paved city streets for once. He shifted in his seat and got a firm, comfortable grip on the steering wheel, keeping a steady speed at what he supposed was the dead center of the two lane road. Without visible lines, he figured he’d just center the vehicle between the guard rails and the mountain sides as they climbed.
“He was Native American, then?”
“His mother was. His father was white. He never knew his father.”
That could be a blessing. “And you? Did you ever know your father?”
“I was taken from my parents when I was an infant. That’s all I was told. I don’t remember either one of them.”
“Oh. Who raised you?”
“Who... or what...” she murmured. “My guardian was called Nukpana by the locals. It means “evil” in the Hopi language, but there’s a kind of respect behind it. She wasn’t evil, she was just -- a completely different creature from them. She was considered very powerful. The few people we came in contact with called her a medicine man, but... the clearest thing way to describe her is... she was... like me.” She glanced at him to ascertain his response. “She raised me as her daughter until I reached a certain age, and then she changed me.”
“What do you mean, ‘changed you’?
“She made me different, like she was.”
“You mean... the thing with the... blood.”
She was silent for a pause, then answered, “And other things...”
It was his turn to hesitate. “What sort of ‘other things’, exactly?”
They drove on for a minute, the truck’s hard-working engine comforting in its strong and reliable thrumming as they peered into the stark alien landscape outside the glass.
“Strength, for instance,” she offered.
“Yeah, I noticed,” he laughed. “I remember wondering how on earth you could knock Jess to the floor. I thought I had imagined it. But I didn’t imagine that, did I?”
She didn’t answer.
“Is your grip as good as your lift? It’s a little intimidating considering...” he cleared his throat, “considering the way you handle me ... considering the way you manipulate those delicate puzzles... you must have a lot of control.”
“Yes,” she smiled. “I have developed control -- over time.”
“What else?”
“Well, I don’t injure easily, and I heal very quickly.”
“Did you do something to me when Jess hit me? Did... did you give me medicine?”
Her eyes seemed to glint at him in the half-darkness. “I think you know the answer to that already, Carlisle.”
“No l don’t,” he shook his head in denial. “No.”
“Acceptance gets easier with time,” she said in a low voice.
She felt his mood shift as he wrestled with the memory of drinking her blood. He was putting the truth together, and he wasn’t handling it well. Her nostrils flared. She casually covered her nose and mouth with her hand. She sensed his heart was speeding up, his skin temperature changing, his breath escalating.
She didn’t wait for his next question, but tried to guide the conversation to achieve a more neutral emotional field, hoping to distract him.
“My senses are different... hearing, touch, taste, smell, sight... all quite keen...” As soon as she finished the sentence, she knew she had made it worse. She felt his defenses rise. She could taste his adrenaline in the air.
”Like an animal?” he said guardedly. The wildcat-like metaphors he had applied to her suddenly seemed very literal, and though he tried to push it away, the image of the creature he had seen on top of Jess invaded his mind in disjointed flashes, in terrifying detail. “Like a predator...”
His brow furrowed. Dread crawled across his skin. He tried desperately not to let his fear form words in his mind, but... the harder he tried, the clearer the words came... Fuck.
“There’s no reason to be afraid, Carlisle.”
Fuck me.
“Stop, Carlisle.”
His foot hit the brake. His hand went to the door handle. He gripped it tightly so the shaking would not show, but he knew she could smell his fear.
“Calm, caris, calm,” she urged. She reached out to touch him. He drew in a sharp breath and flinched. “I would never hurt you,” she whispered.
“Oh really?” he struggled to keep his voice steady. “Did you ever say that to Jess? You hurt Jess. You killed Jess.”
“You know why I had to do that.”
“Yeah. You were hungry.”
“No. That wasn’t the reason.”
“Are you hungry now?” he asked in a whisper. He held himself stiffly in place, restricting the flight response by sheer force of will. You are in the middle of fucking nowhere, Carlisle.
“Absolutely not. Stop this, Carlisle. Please.”
She reached for the passenger window button and lowered the glass. The cold air hit him like a slap, but it helped. He felt more in control. He gained the presence of mind to put the truck in Park.
She opened her door, and stepped out into the snow. She slowly backed away from the truck. He eyed her every step. She lowered her head and spread her arms at her sides, palms out -- a pacifying gesture.
His heartbeat started to slow. He took deeper breaths. She looked up, but didn’t look at him directly. She hazarded a couple of steps towards him, then paused, tasting his reaction. He remained stable, so she approached. He was still shaking and his teeth were beginning to chatter, but she knew it was from cold now, not from fear.
She approached cautiously but confidently, touching the open door, then pausing to meet his eyes. She smiled with her eyes alone, giving him time to adjust, to accept her presence on his own terms.
“It’s cold, Carlisle.”
The temperature didn’t bother her at all, but he didn’t know that. He was a fragile human who needed protection from the harsh elements. She lifted herself onto the seat, kicked the snow from her shoes and gently clicked the door closed. The heater was still running, and immediately began to re-warm the cab. Carlisle’s body began to relax. She touched his hand with the back of her own. He didn’t withdraw. She drew it slowly up his arm and over his shoulder. She touched his cheek, and he leaned his head almost imperceptibly towards her.
She turned to him, one knee on the bench seat, and leaned in to hover at his jaw with her lips and breath. He groaned and shifted, turning suddenly to take her mouth with his with an eagerness she hadn’t quite anticipated.
This pleased her. She wasn’t used to being surprised. Maybe he was already learning to block her, or maybe she had been distracted and hadn’t tuned in. Maybe he was thinking without language -- which was much harder to read.
As he tasted her tongue, she knew he was trying to read her the only way he knew how, and she smiled through the kiss. She gave him the images he sought -- imbued with emotion -- her affection for him, protectiveness of him, desire for a relationship. She fed him images of seduction, drawing from the fantasies she had collected from his mind. His body responded without hesitation, some evidence he had left behind the anxiety, and was willing to trust her again.
Her right hand entered his jacket, opened his shirt, then slipped smoothly under the long underwear to connect with his skin. He slid towards her and she moved backwards to allow him to free himself from the restriction of the steering wheel.
She straddled his lap, pushing the undershirt up to uncover his chest. She took each nipple in her mouth in turn, softly circling them with her tongue, squeezing them with pillowed lips. She licked upward across them, applying pressure and intensity. She unfastened his jeans, and he lifted his hips just enough for her to lower them to the tops of his thighs. She returned to his nipples, enveloping them in her mouth’s soft wetness, sucking hard now, grazing them with her teeth until he whimpered -- for mercy and for more -- head thrown back against the seat.
She knelt on the floorboard between his legs, pulling him toward her.
Tongue and lips, hands and fingers, cheeks and nose all coordinated as she took him far, far from the restive state into which he had fallen when he had let himself doubt and fear her. She listened to his body, she attended every breath, sound and movement, playing him like an instrument. There was no denying his ultimate vulnerability; nothing in him wanted anything but what was offered in that present moment.
Finally, she took him deep, slowly encasing the tip of his cock in the wet, smooth tightness of her long throat. She held him there, not breathing, and he held his own breath in anticipation, waiting for movement to send another wave of excruciating pleasure through him. She swallowed, he gasped for oxygen. She hummed, his breath stuttered; his fingers dug into the plush upholstery until they hurt. She held him there, suspended in a cruel ecstasy.
He reached under her hair for the back of her neck and pressed forward very slightly, touching the back wall of her throat, voicing an almost incoherent “please...” She contracted her throat muscles, tightly holding his trembling legs as she drew his release from him.
She laid her head on his chest, and held him until he was able to function. He bent down to kiss the top of her head with something like reverence. She nuzzled into his chest for a minute, then lowered his undershirt, smoothing it against his body with care. She helped him dress, and though he actively participated, it was almost absent-minded. His focus was on the face and hands that had just brought him so much pleasure and peace.
She rose to sit beside him in the seat, holding his right hand in both of hers. “It’s not much further now,” she offered. He nodded, slipped back behind the wheel, released the break, and put the vehicle in Drive once again. They moved forward in silence for fifteen more minutes before Dee motioned to a guardrail on the side of the road. “Here.”
He pulled over, and she turned to him solemnly. “This part I have to do alone.” She touched his cheek. “You have to trust me now. You need to stay here to stay warm. I will be gone 30 minutes or so. Do not worry. Do not follow me. The cold doesn’t affect me. I can see in very low light.” She paused, sensing all the questions that were tumbling around in his head, but he offered none of them so she pressed on. “I know what I’m doing, Carlisle. Please do not leave the truck. Do not. Do you promise me?”
“I guess so,” Carlisle didn’t know what else to say. He felt a bit bewildered, but -- there was no way he wanted to go out into this snow at night, in the dark... it was crazy... but she had been doing this kind of thing for... how many years? She was unimaginably capable in so many other ways. This was not his game... he’d have to trust...
“Promise.”
“I- I promise. But--” She waited, though she knew every question before he spoke it. “Where are you going? What if you don’t come back?”
“There is a small cave just a short distance from here. I’m going to put Jess there and seal it. I’ve been there before, with Jess. It is what he wanted. He will never be found. Don’t worry. This...” she waved at the hostile white landscape around them, “is not a problem for me. Even if you left me here, I could get back.” He looked at her incredulously and sputtered a laugh. “I know this is difficult to accept, but you must do this for your own protection. You must trust me, OK? If I am concerned about anything, it is only your safety.”
He sighed and nodded.
She was out of the truck and rolling back the truck bed cover moments later. She dragged the body from the back with one hand then replaced the cover. He wondered if the body had started to freeze. He watched in amazement as she almost casually slung the bundle over her back and disappeared with it downhill off the side of the road.
He turned off the truck engine to conserve gas. She’ll be back. She’ll be back. She said she’ll be back. I would never leave her here, that’s ridiculous! I’ll wait as long as I have to.
He looked at the clock. 11:17. He dug behind the seat and found an Indian blanket. He wrapped it around his legs for extra warmth. He opened the glove compartment and saw a pack of Jess’s Marlboros. This reminded him he had his own cigarettes, so he pulled one out and lit it. He cracked the window a bit to let the smoke out. It’s gonna get cold in here, but there’s plenty of fuel. I can start the engine if I need to. We’ll be OK. We.... will be OK.
The cigarette was just as unsatisfying as before, but he finished it just to have something to do. Finally, he threw the butt out the window and shut out the outside air. 11:28. Time was crawling. He could see his breath in the cab now, but he decided arbitrarily he wouldn’t turn on the engine and the heater until 11:47 -- at the earliest. She’ll be back before then. He put his gloves on. He yawned. You’ve had enough sleep, Sleeping Fucking Beauty, you can stay awake now.
He awoke with a start. He focused on the clock. 12:10. Shit! Almost an hour! Where the hell is she? He reached for the ignition keys but his hands were so stiff with cold he could barely move them. He got the engine started and the heat going, but it was a good five minutes before the heater was warm enough to do any good. Finally, he was defrosted enough to stop shaking and think clearly.
He looked out into the moonlit night, straining his eyes to peer at the spot where she had disappeared. Well, I’ve got to do something. He turned off the engine and turned on the headlights. He exited the truck and made his way over to the road’s edge. He looked down the embankment and was horrified to see it was extremely steep. He could still see where she had made her way down the treeless slope, the added weight of Jess’s body obscuring the usual crisp appearance of footprints.
“Carlisle.”
He started at the sound of her voice behind him, but it turned into relief as he spun to face her. She’s back! Thank God!
“Is this how you keep promises?” she smiled, leaning against the passenger door.
He pulled himself together so he didn’t look like such a wimpy, blithering idiot. “Just getting some air,” he mumbled unconvincingly.
“Right.” She was duly unconvinced.
He approached and opened the door for her. “You said thirty minutes.” The steam of his breath billowed around her. It was impossible to keep the resentment from trickling into his voice.
She got in, and turned to him with a mischievous smile. “Are you coming?”
He hid his own grin as he circled the truck to the driver’s side.
Soon, they were retracing their path down the mountain. She sat close to him. He had one hand on the wheel, one arm around her, his hand stroking her hair absentmindedly as they descended in a comfortable silence that, for him at least, had that rare infusion of something like contentment.
…..ll x ll x ll x ll…..
Chapter 14