Immortalis Caris -- Chapter 9 - Merging
Immortalis Caris -- Chapter 9
“Stay.”
“Of course I’ll stay.”
How can I refuse? There was something in her voice that chilled him as he remembered the violence he’d glimpsed the first time he saw her at her window. Jess. There was also a grave timbre in her voice that held promise the time would be far from wasted.
“I’ll need to call in sick,” he nodded his head towards the hospital, “after 5am.”
“Do you want to rest more now?” Dee nestled down beside him. “It’s OK if you do. I like watching you sleep.”
It’s the strangest thing... I should feel protective of her, but instead, I feel protected by her.
“Don’t you feel sleepy?” he asked, yawning.
“I sleep in the day,” she giggled. “You know that.”
He could feel the heat rising in his cheeks again. “Can you actually hear or see everything I’m thinking?”
“Sometimes,” she said lazily, brushing her cheek and eyelashes against his chest, inhaling the scent of his skin absentmindedly. “You know those times you actually form the words in your mind but you don’t say them? You know how you hear yourself thinking actual words? Well, when people do that, I can hear actual words. But when people think in concepts or images, I just get impressions. I am interpreting their signals, and since my brain and perception and perspective is completely separate, I don’t always understand the way the thinker does, especially if it’s something I’ve never encountered before.
“Right now,” she half-closed her eyes, the green retreating again as the black of her pupils expanded, “You are saying to yourself the words you want to speak out loud to me, but there’s... another layer...” She looked smug and amazingly sexy, if a bit predatory. “A part of your brain is not thinking in words - is it? It’s visualizing your hands moving underneath my shirt... and elsewhere...” He groaned and shifted so more of him was pressing against her through the thin blanket, “and how I will react, and how your body will react...”
“I’m not sure I like that,” he frowned, as her hand moved down his chest, then underneath the blanket. “I mean...” he trailed off as she stroked his abdomen and hips with the tips of her fingers.
“Funny, I don’t hear any words now,” she mused teasingly, inching the blanket down so he could see where her hands roamed, her long nails alternately caressing, then pulling at his skin hungrily. He was still naked beneath the blanket, and his heart sped up waiting to see how much she intended to uncover.
“What you do to me... I’ve never... I can’t explain...”
“Let go of the words. Just feel,” she intoned, her lips dragging across his belly. His shallow panting was suddenly thunderous in the insulated silence of the room, his body rising to meet her hunger with his own. She turned her hand, the smooth back and ridges of her knuckles sampling his even more delicate skin as it descended to nestle between his legs, pressing, stroking, so lightly upwards against his testicles.
Deja vu. The dream. The rolling of the palm. The open thighs. She kissed him. The dream was upon him again, but in her mind now as she kissed him and reflected it back to him. She seemed to be using the image of his angel from his mind as she gently and persistently drew him into arousal. Confusion rose in him momentarily, threatened to break the delicious coiling spiral, but her lips were on him, her tongue in their wake, and the vision swept all other thoughts from his head.
The pale, fire-haired creature bent over him, its cool, moist mouth encased his cock, drawing him into itself. They became entwined. It held him there as waves of pleasure and deep color breathed through him. There was a sense of determination to accept the desire it kindled in him, to seize what it offered him, to appreciate the satisfaction of capturing and being captured, the underlying terror entangled in tenderness, tempering all instinctive warnings.
As in the dream, he saw its maleness. As in the dream he accepted the being as other and as self. He felt a mild curiosity, but certainly no objection, reaching out to caress it with the fever of wonder. But he couldn’t reach its flesh. He relented the effort, let himself be consumed, devoured both by its demanding hunger and the twisting burning of his wanting.
Have I forgotten to breathe? The growl that seemed to start in his groin and rise through his organs, expanding in his lungs, testified he was most enthusiastically breathing as she brought him to orgasm with the subtle movements of her throat. He arched into her; she held him in place. The moan that accompanied his exhalation allowed her any liberty, any whim, as all muscle tension dissolved into the surface below.
The dream-like vision faded as her mouth left him and her weight moved down his legs. The ultra-softness of a cheek grazed his too-sensitive cock, then a smooth, heavy tongue lingered at its base, basking in the smell and taste and warmth of him.
His fingers grasped her head through the wild fall of her hair. He wanted to say her name, but he couldn’t remember it, couldn’t voice it. He looked down through half-closed eyes to see his own glistening chest, copper locks splayed out upon the carnal pillow of his loins.
He listened in stillness as the rhythm of his heart sought a normal pace, as the uncommon tendrils of realized bliss infused his limbs, then dissipated as common strength returned to them. When breath synced with heartbeat, he spoke.
“I want to touch you.”
Slowly her hands came to life, gathering her hair from its wanton scattering on his flesh. She looked up at him, the darkness that had suffused the glorious green irises already half-faded.
“Come here,” he said, opening his arms, begging the closeness he craved. She rose and lay beside him, the soft cheek now at his breast, brushing his nipple, the weight of her head so pleasurable against it. Her palm covered his other nipple, then moved down his ribs, insistently pulling him towards her. She took his wrist, placing his hand on her hip to complete the embrace. She held him there firmly, at the same time delicately tickling the back of his hand.
He cradled her back, skimming the surface of her shirt, the slight curve at her waist. He slipped his fingers under the waistband of her shorts. She stiffened. He smiled slightly, removed his hand and reached up to turn her face to his.
“I want to see you -- all of you,” he said. It wasn’t a demand, but it certainly wasn’t a request. His boldness seemed to surprise her a little. He didn’t know exactly why, but it pleased him to unnerve her.
“I want to know you better… first,” she said in a low voice.
He propped himself up on his elbow, looking down at her incredulously. “How much better?” he laughed. “You’ve pretty much had the run of my body so far.”
“It’s different for me,” she said, her brow creasing briefly.
“How so?” he countered. I’m not letting her insecurities get the best of her… I know her breasts are small. She’s just being over-sensitive.
“I’m afraid. Afraid to move too fast. Afraid you won’t like me. Afraid you’ll leave me. I’m different. It’s not because of my breasts…”
“I like you because you’re different.”
She sighed. He reached down, unbuttoning the first button of her blouse. She grasped the button placket on the shirt so he couldn’t open it further. He smiled, and moved his other hand underneath her blouse from below. OK. I’m ready to play… The sudden wetness in her eyes stopped him. Oh Christ, tears? Give me a break…
“There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Carlisle.”
He paused.
Has she been abused? But she seems so confident. She said she’d had sex with Jess -- that right there took some guts. She’s no fragile flower. What’s the issue?
“Are you… physically OK?” he asked, confused. “Is that why you’re shy?” Maybe she has a deformity?
She snorted sarcastically, her look turned defiant. “No. I’m fine. Just fine. No ‘deformities’.“
He blushed. Real smooth, Carlisle. You are just an ace charmer, aren’t you? He shifted away from her, removed his hands, made sure he wasn’t touching her.
She sat up and leaned against the wall, bringing her knees up in front of her chest protectively. She was trying her best to appear composed, but he wasn’t convinced.
“I’m sorry I got pushy,” he said in a conciliatory tone. “I just … really like you.”
She nodded offhandedly, not meeting his eyes, but a tiny hint of a crooked smile appeared at the corner of her mouth.
“I know you do. You can’t hide it from me, remember?”
Carlisle shook his head. “You’re stalling all my attempts to be romantic and mysterious, you know. This mind reading thing…”
She shrugged, with an apologetic smile, but a real smile. Ah. I’m out of the doghouse. She’s letting me back in. She shook her head in amusement.
“Did you want to ask me something?” she suggested.
“Can I ask you something about Jess?” he ventured.
“’Kay,” she answered.
“Well, the first time I saw you in the window… I saw something I keep wondering about…”
“Yes,” she glanced up at him.
“Someone pulled your arm. They jerked you out of the window.”
“Oh right.”
“I was worried.”
“I know. You needn’t be, you know. Jess couldn’t, I mean … he wouldn’t hurt me.”
“So it was Jess.” Carlisle bristled.
“Yes. Nobody else comes here. He was upset with me. He’d just… well… done me a favor and… he wanted what I promised him. But I was listening to you….” she smiled shyly.
Carlisle stiffened. “And did you give him what you promised him?”
She just looked up at him through her eyelashes.
Uh huh… “So. Is there anything I can do for you? So Jess doesn’t have to do it - and be ‘rewarded’?” It was difficult to hide the sarcasm in his voice. And why should I hide it? She can hear it in my brain anyway….
He realized he suddenly had her full attention. “I hope you can help me, Carlisle. When we know each other better.”
Carlisle’s frustration was already evident to her from his thoughts, he knew that. He looked around for his clothes. He grabbed his pants and proceeded to shove his legs into them.
“How, Dee? How is that going to happen with Jess around?” He tied the string on his scrubs and looked her in the eye. “Do you have another stash of crystal to keep him busy? Oh! By the way, is this where he comes when he crashes?”
Dee nodded. “Usually,” she whispered. He could see she was uncomfortable.
“You’re in a relationship with this guy. A sick one, but it’s still a relationship. You have a history and an understanding with him. Why are you coming on to me? True, I haven’t exactly been resisting, but… what’s the point? Do you want to be with him or with me?”
“I want to be with you,” she said simply.
He put his head in his hands.
“Does he support you?”
“Don’t be upset, please. Let me explain.”
Carlisle crossed his arms and said nothing. Why AM I so upset?
“You’re upset because you care about me,” she said hopefully.
“Get out of my fucking head.”
“I’m sorry. I can’t help it. I have some control, but… it’s harder to block when I have a bond with someone I care about….“
“I want some answers.”
“The answer is no. Jess doesn’t support me.”
“Who pays for this condo?”
“I do.”
Not the answer I expected.
“I see. Trust fund baby?”
Dee smiled. “No. But I’m, how do you put it… comfortable.”
Carlisle looked around him. “I should say so.” He looked back at her. “Do you support Jess? I can’t imagine that fucker contributes anything.”
Her body language gave him the answer before she reluctantly voiced it. “Yes.”
“What the hell for?” He grabbed his forehead as if in pain. “Don’t tell me you support his habit too?”
“He helps me. I- don’t like living alone. He takes care of certain things for me.”
“You’d choose to live with a meth addict rather than alone?” He paused in frustration, thinking. I really don’t know her, do I? Don’t know what kind of fucked-up dysfunctional life she comes from. But now that I have some clue to her circumstances, as wrong as they are, I feel calmer. At least if I know the situation, I can try to help her.
“How do you know he wouldn’t hurt you? He’s a meth-addict, Dee. If he knew you had a stash hidden here, he’d hurt you to get it. You know that, don’t you? What are you thinking?”
“I know. What you are saying is usually true. But you have to trust me on this. Jess is no threat to me.”
“I don’t understand. Help me understand.”
“I can’t, Carlisle. Not yet. You and I need to know each other better.”
“Great. Now we’ve come full circle.” He threw up his hands. Words weren’t getting him anywhere.
He moved over closer to her. He touched her shoulder. She unwrapped one slender arm from her bent knees and covered his hand with hers. Encouraged, he slid closer, unwrapping the other arm from her knees, and gently straightening her legs. She yielded as he molded her body into his. In a few moments, he was spooning her on the futon, stroking her hair, kissing the shoulder he had touched. They did not speak for a long time. He couldn’t stop his busy brain, though, and he guessed by the time he figured out what to say to her, she’d already have the answer ready. This aspect of the relationship would take some serious getting used to.
“Dee.”
“Yes.”
“Do you want to leave him? If so, do you need help leaving him? Do you want to come to my place?”
“Let me think about it. Give me a little time. Thank you for offering. There are things I have to deal with here.”
“I know you say he won’t hurt you, and you’ll have to forgive me for having trouble believing that. But even if I did believe that, I have to ask myself - what would Jess do if he found me here with you? He’d try to hurt me. I’d have to defend myself. I don’t know that I’m any match for him.”
“He can’t hurt you if I’m here. I won’t let him.”
“There you go again with the ‘can’t’. What magical power do you hold over this outlaw guy that you are so sure you control his violent behavior? It doesn’t make sense.”
“Carlisle, if you can just trust me right now, I promise you, this will work itself out. You have no reason to trust me, just that I ask you to. For now, can we just relax knowing he’s gone and will stay gone for another day or so?”
“OK, I’ll chill.” Carlisle smiled. Foolish foolish foolish…
“Not foolish,” she giggled.
“Stop doing that,” he reprimanded as he hugged her closer. She has no breasts at all. She’s probably defensive about that… “Oh, God,” he blushed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…”
“Does it matter a great deal to you?” she asked.
“You matter a great deal to me.” Carlisle yawned and stretched.
“You need more rest, I’ll let you sleep.”
“No. I can stay awake until you sleep,” he yawned again, blatantly belying the claim. “You wanna lay here with me?”
“You stay awake? Not likely,” she laughed. “But yes, I would like to lie beside you and hold you. Why don’t we move into my room?”
He looked at her carefully for a moment, assessing the proposal. He nodded. He gathered his shirt and shoes. She led, he followed.
Entering her room was like entering a cave. Utter blackness. Of course, it’s the interior of the two bedrooms, so it has no window. She flipped on a low-wattage Japanese paper lamp. There was a simple mattress on the floor. A bit minimal I’d say… for a woman anyway… maybe she hasn’t bought a bed yet?
He laid the clothes in his hands into a neat pile in the corner. He took off his scrub pants, folding and adding them. Clad only in his underwear, he lowered himself to the mattress. He opened his arms to her; she gracefully knelt beside him.
“Anything I can help you off with?” he asked, mock-seriously, running his hands with slow pressure down the sides of her shirted torso.
She shook her head, but indulged his teasing with an amused expression. She willingly molded herself into his embrace, drawing his solid arms around her as they stretched out together.
She combed the shining hairs on his arms with her nails, rewarded by the sudden change of speed in his breathing. He wanted to caress her chest and stomach, but deciding to respect her boundaries for the time being, kept his hands at play at only her neck, her face and her hair. Her scent calmed him, and he let go, let it carry him through layers of increasing opaqueness to a dreamless sleep.
…..ll x ll x ll x ll…..
Chapter 10
“Stay.”
“Of course I’ll stay.”
How can I refuse? There was something in her voice that chilled him as he remembered the violence he’d glimpsed the first time he saw her at her window. Jess. There was also a grave timbre in her voice that held promise the time would be far from wasted.
“I’ll need to call in sick,” he nodded his head towards the hospital, “after 5am.”
“Do you want to rest more now?” Dee nestled down beside him. “It’s OK if you do. I like watching you sleep.”
It’s the strangest thing... I should feel protective of her, but instead, I feel protected by her.
“Don’t you feel sleepy?” he asked, yawning.
“I sleep in the day,” she giggled. “You know that.”
He could feel the heat rising in his cheeks again. “Can you actually hear or see everything I’m thinking?”
“Sometimes,” she said lazily, brushing her cheek and eyelashes against his chest, inhaling the scent of his skin absentmindedly. “You know those times you actually form the words in your mind but you don’t say them? You know how you hear yourself thinking actual words? Well, when people do that, I can hear actual words. But when people think in concepts or images, I just get impressions. I am interpreting their signals, and since my brain and perception and perspective is completely separate, I don’t always understand the way the thinker does, especially if it’s something I’ve never encountered before.
“Right now,” she half-closed her eyes, the green retreating again as the black of her pupils expanded, “You are saying to yourself the words you want to speak out loud to me, but there’s... another layer...” She looked smug and amazingly sexy, if a bit predatory. “A part of your brain is not thinking in words - is it? It’s visualizing your hands moving underneath my shirt... and elsewhere...” He groaned and shifted so more of him was pressing against her through the thin blanket, “and how I will react, and how your body will react...”
“I’m not sure I like that,” he frowned, as her hand moved down his chest, then underneath the blanket. “I mean...” he trailed off as she stroked his abdomen and hips with the tips of her fingers.
“Funny, I don’t hear any words now,” she mused teasingly, inching the blanket down so he could see where her hands roamed, her long nails alternately caressing, then pulling at his skin hungrily. He was still naked beneath the blanket, and his heart sped up waiting to see how much she intended to uncover.
“What you do to me... I’ve never... I can’t explain...”
“Let go of the words. Just feel,” she intoned, her lips dragging across his belly. His shallow panting was suddenly thunderous in the insulated silence of the room, his body rising to meet her hunger with his own. She turned her hand, the smooth back and ridges of her knuckles sampling his even more delicate skin as it descended to nestle between his legs, pressing, stroking, so lightly upwards against his testicles.
Deja vu. The dream. The rolling of the palm. The open thighs. She kissed him. The dream was upon him again, but in her mind now as she kissed him and reflected it back to him. She seemed to be using the image of his angel from his mind as she gently and persistently drew him into arousal. Confusion rose in him momentarily, threatened to break the delicious coiling spiral, but her lips were on him, her tongue in their wake, and the vision swept all other thoughts from his head.
The pale, fire-haired creature bent over him, its cool, moist mouth encased his cock, drawing him into itself. They became entwined. It held him there as waves of pleasure and deep color breathed through him. There was a sense of determination to accept the desire it kindled in him, to seize what it offered him, to appreciate the satisfaction of capturing and being captured, the underlying terror entangled in tenderness, tempering all instinctive warnings.
As in the dream, he saw its maleness. As in the dream he accepted the being as other and as self. He felt a mild curiosity, but certainly no objection, reaching out to caress it with the fever of wonder. But he couldn’t reach its flesh. He relented the effort, let himself be consumed, devoured both by its demanding hunger and the twisting burning of his wanting.
Have I forgotten to breathe? The growl that seemed to start in his groin and rise through his organs, expanding in his lungs, testified he was most enthusiastically breathing as she brought him to orgasm with the subtle movements of her throat. He arched into her; she held him in place. The moan that accompanied his exhalation allowed her any liberty, any whim, as all muscle tension dissolved into the surface below.
The dream-like vision faded as her mouth left him and her weight moved down his legs. The ultra-softness of a cheek grazed his too-sensitive cock, then a smooth, heavy tongue lingered at its base, basking in the smell and taste and warmth of him.
His fingers grasped her head through the wild fall of her hair. He wanted to say her name, but he couldn’t remember it, couldn’t voice it. He looked down through half-closed eyes to see his own glistening chest, copper locks splayed out upon the carnal pillow of his loins.
He listened in stillness as the rhythm of his heart sought a normal pace, as the uncommon tendrils of realized bliss infused his limbs, then dissipated as common strength returned to them. When breath synced with heartbeat, he spoke.
“I want to touch you.”
Slowly her hands came to life, gathering her hair from its wanton scattering on his flesh. She looked up at him, the darkness that had suffused the glorious green irises already half-faded.
“Come here,” he said, opening his arms, begging the closeness he craved. She rose and lay beside him, the soft cheek now at his breast, brushing his nipple, the weight of her head so pleasurable against it. Her palm covered his other nipple, then moved down his ribs, insistently pulling him towards her. She took his wrist, placing his hand on her hip to complete the embrace. She held him there firmly, at the same time delicately tickling the back of his hand.
He cradled her back, skimming the surface of her shirt, the slight curve at her waist. He slipped his fingers under the waistband of her shorts. She stiffened. He smiled slightly, removed his hand and reached up to turn her face to his.
“I want to see you -- all of you,” he said. It wasn’t a demand, but it certainly wasn’t a request. His boldness seemed to surprise her a little. He didn’t know exactly why, but it pleased him to unnerve her.
“I want to know you better… first,” she said in a low voice.
He propped himself up on his elbow, looking down at her incredulously. “How much better?” he laughed. “You’ve pretty much had the run of my body so far.”
“It’s different for me,” she said, her brow creasing briefly.
“How so?” he countered. I’m not letting her insecurities get the best of her… I know her breasts are small. She’s just being over-sensitive.
“I’m afraid. Afraid to move too fast. Afraid you won’t like me. Afraid you’ll leave me. I’m different. It’s not because of my breasts…”
“I like you because you’re different.”
She sighed. He reached down, unbuttoning the first button of her blouse. She grasped the button placket on the shirt so he couldn’t open it further. He smiled, and moved his other hand underneath her blouse from below. OK. I’m ready to play… The sudden wetness in her eyes stopped him. Oh Christ, tears? Give me a break…
“There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Carlisle.”
He paused.
Has she been abused? But she seems so confident. She said she’d had sex with Jess -- that right there took some guts. She’s no fragile flower. What’s the issue?
“Are you… physically OK?” he asked, confused. “Is that why you’re shy?” Maybe she has a deformity?
She snorted sarcastically, her look turned defiant. “No. I’m fine. Just fine. No ‘deformities’.“
He blushed. Real smooth, Carlisle. You are just an ace charmer, aren’t you? He shifted away from her, removed his hands, made sure he wasn’t touching her.
She sat up and leaned against the wall, bringing her knees up in front of her chest protectively. She was trying her best to appear composed, but he wasn’t convinced.
“I’m sorry I got pushy,” he said in a conciliatory tone. “I just … really like you.”
She nodded offhandedly, not meeting his eyes, but a tiny hint of a crooked smile appeared at the corner of her mouth.
“I know you do. You can’t hide it from me, remember?”
Carlisle shook his head. “You’re stalling all my attempts to be romantic and mysterious, you know. This mind reading thing…”
She shrugged, with an apologetic smile, but a real smile. Ah. I’m out of the doghouse. She’s letting me back in. She shook her head in amusement.
“Did you want to ask me something?” she suggested.
“Can I ask you something about Jess?” he ventured.
“’Kay,” she answered.
“Well, the first time I saw you in the window… I saw something I keep wondering about…”
“Yes,” she glanced up at him.
“Someone pulled your arm. They jerked you out of the window.”
“Oh right.”
“I was worried.”
“I know. You needn’t be, you know. Jess couldn’t, I mean … he wouldn’t hurt me.”
“So it was Jess.” Carlisle bristled.
“Yes. Nobody else comes here. He was upset with me. He’d just… well… done me a favor and… he wanted what I promised him. But I was listening to you….” she smiled shyly.
Carlisle stiffened. “And did you give him what you promised him?”
She just looked up at him through her eyelashes.
Uh huh… “So. Is there anything I can do for you? So Jess doesn’t have to do it - and be ‘rewarded’?” It was difficult to hide the sarcasm in his voice. And why should I hide it? She can hear it in my brain anyway….
He realized he suddenly had her full attention. “I hope you can help me, Carlisle. When we know each other better.”
Carlisle’s frustration was already evident to her from his thoughts, he knew that. He looked around for his clothes. He grabbed his pants and proceeded to shove his legs into them.
“How, Dee? How is that going to happen with Jess around?” He tied the string on his scrubs and looked her in the eye. “Do you have another stash of crystal to keep him busy? Oh! By the way, is this where he comes when he crashes?”
Dee nodded. “Usually,” she whispered. He could see she was uncomfortable.
“You’re in a relationship with this guy. A sick one, but it’s still a relationship. You have a history and an understanding with him. Why are you coming on to me? True, I haven’t exactly been resisting, but… what’s the point? Do you want to be with him or with me?”
“I want to be with you,” she said simply.
He put his head in his hands.
“Does he support you?”
“Don’t be upset, please. Let me explain.”
Carlisle crossed his arms and said nothing. Why AM I so upset?
“You’re upset because you care about me,” she said hopefully.
“Get out of my fucking head.”
“I’m sorry. I can’t help it. I have some control, but… it’s harder to block when I have a bond with someone I care about….“
“I want some answers.”
“The answer is no. Jess doesn’t support me.”
“Who pays for this condo?”
“I do.”
Not the answer I expected.
“I see. Trust fund baby?”
Dee smiled. “No. But I’m, how do you put it… comfortable.”
Carlisle looked around him. “I should say so.” He looked back at her. “Do you support Jess? I can’t imagine that fucker contributes anything.”
Her body language gave him the answer before she reluctantly voiced it. “Yes.”
“What the hell for?” He grabbed his forehead as if in pain. “Don’t tell me you support his habit too?”
“He helps me. I- don’t like living alone. He takes care of certain things for me.”
“You’d choose to live with a meth addict rather than alone?” He paused in frustration, thinking. I really don’t know her, do I? Don’t know what kind of fucked-up dysfunctional life she comes from. But now that I have some clue to her circumstances, as wrong as they are, I feel calmer. At least if I know the situation, I can try to help her.
“How do you know he wouldn’t hurt you? He’s a meth-addict, Dee. If he knew you had a stash hidden here, he’d hurt you to get it. You know that, don’t you? What are you thinking?”
“I know. What you are saying is usually true. But you have to trust me on this. Jess is no threat to me.”
“I don’t understand. Help me understand.”
“I can’t, Carlisle. Not yet. You and I need to know each other better.”
“Great. Now we’ve come full circle.” He threw up his hands. Words weren’t getting him anywhere.
He moved over closer to her. He touched her shoulder. She unwrapped one slender arm from her bent knees and covered his hand with hers. Encouraged, he slid closer, unwrapping the other arm from her knees, and gently straightening her legs. She yielded as he molded her body into his. In a few moments, he was spooning her on the futon, stroking her hair, kissing the shoulder he had touched. They did not speak for a long time. He couldn’t stop his busy brain, though, and he guessed by the time he figured out what to say to her, she’d already have the answer ready. This aspect of the relationship would take some serious getting used to.
“Dee.”
“Yes.”
“Do you want to leave him? If so, do you need help leaving him? Do you want to come to my place?”
“Let me think about it. Give me a little time. Thank you for offering. There are things I have to deal with here.”
“I know you say he won’t hurt you, and you’ll have to forgive me for having trouble believing that. But even if I did believe that, I have to ask myself - what would Jess do if he found me here with you? He’d try to hurt me. I’d have to defend myself. I don’t know that I’m any match for him.”
“He can’t hurt you if I’m here. I won’t let him.”
“There you go again with the ‘can’t’. What magical power do you hold over this outlaw guy that you are so sure you control his violent behavior? It doesn’t make sense.”
“Carlisle, if you can just trust me right now, I promise you, this will work itself out. You have no reason to trust me, just that I ask you to. For now, can we just relax knowing he’s gone and will stay gone for another day or so?”
“OK, I’ll chill.” Carlisle smiled. Foolish foolish foolish…
“Not foolish,” she giggled.
“Stop doing that,” he reprimanded as he hugged her closer. She has no breasts at all. She’s probably defensive about that… “Oh, God,” he blushed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…”
“Does it matter a great deal to you?” she asked.
“You matter a great deal to me.” Carlisle yawned and stretched.
“You need more rest, I’ll let you sleep.”
“No. I can stay awake until you sleep,” he yawned again, blatantly belying the claim. “You wanna lay here with me?”
“You stay awake? Not likely,” she laughed. “But yes, I would like to lie beside you and hold you. Why don’t we move into my room?”
He looked at her carefully for a moment, assessing the proposal. He nodded. He gathered his shirt and shoes. She led, he followed.
Entering her room was like entering a cave. Utter blackness. Of course, it’s the interior of the two bedrooms, so it has no window. She flipped on a low-wattage Japanese paper lamp. There was a simple mattress on the floor. A bit minimal I’d say… for a woman anyway… maybe she hasn’t bought a bed yet?
He laid the clothes in his hands into a neat pile in the corner. He took off his scrub pants, folding and adding them. Clad only in his underwear, he lowered himself to the mattress. He opened his arms to her; she gracefully knelt beside him.
“Anything I can help you off with?” he asked, mock-seriously, running his hands with slow pressure down the sides of her shirted torso.
She shook her head, but indulged his teasing with an amused expression. She willingly molded herself into his embrace, drawing his solid arms around her as they stretched out together.
She combed the shining hairs on his arms with her nails, rewarded by the sudden change of speed in his breathing. He wanted to caress her chest and stomach, but deciding to respect her boundaries for the time being, kept his hands at play at only her neck, her face and her hair. Her scent calmed him, and he let go, let it carry him through layers of increasing opaqueness to a dreamless sleep.
…..ll x ll x ll x ll…..
Chapter 10