Dang
A lot has been going on. Most of it isn't worth mentioning since a lot of background information is involved and that would just take FAR too long to get through. But anyway...yeah...I'm pretty sure this is what qualifies as a quarter-life crisis: I have a million ideas in my head of what I want to do, where I want to go and what I want to happen on my way there. The only problem is I can't choose which thing I want to do first, which path to take to where I'm going and how to go about these things on said path. I'm restless yet indecisive. Not a good combo. My biggest issue right now is work. My job is pretty ridiculous and doesn't pay as much as it should for the responsibility I carry (now that they've added so many things to my workload). I decided that if I was still in this position a year from now I wouldn't be very happy with myself. Unless I transferred to a different bureau or a different city, we're more or less looking at what you'd call a "dead-end job". In this location there is absolutely nowhere I can go or want to go. And that's just sad. So knowing that I don't want to carry on with this job for an extended period of time, shouldn't it be easy to just nip it in the bud and get another job? Especially when there is a job being presented that pays more and essentially will take you further with more opportunities down the line? I'm really not sure what my problem is. Well maybe I do. I've had this conversation three times and the outcome is always the same. Go for the new opportunity right in front of your face. Unanimous. But still I don't know why I'm being such an idiot about it. There has to be some deep-rooted reason, maybe on an unconscious level, that I'm not jumping at the chance to get the hell out of the monotony of this job. I know I want out, I just need to make sure it's the right thing to do. The phrase I hear myself saying over and over is 'what if...' and that's seriously start to bug the shit out of me. Oops. I went off and did some other things and forgot I started this. Hm. Well.......that's pretty much where I'm at now. Sorry I've been MIA but I just want everything to settle down so I don't have to toss my issues in yo' face! ;) xo