Almost Eighteen Years - my part of 21 for 21
Title: Almost Eighteen Years
Author: sisredlo
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Everything Friday Night Lights is way above my pay grade.
A/N: Happy birthday, Joe!!! I hope you are out enjoying yourself - and that you stocked up on Propel for the aftermath in the morning!
Julie Taylor's view of Dillon, Texas evolved with her summer reading lists. Senior year meant British lit, so Moby Dick analogies gave way to metaphors based on A Tale of Two Cities. The people in Dillon reminded her so much of the Parisians at the beginning of the novel. Friday nights were like the wine cask breaking in the street - everyone stopped what they were doing and came together to cheer for the team. There was a special companionship in it, an observable inclination on the part of every one to join some other one...When the wine was gone…these demonstrations ceased, as suddenly as they had broken out. Some of those idiots who called into Slammin’ Sammy’s show on Mondays after a loss certainly seemed as bloodthirsty as the French revolutionaries.
She had read the novel in middle school (she always read a few grade levels ahead) and she remembered being twelve and thinking how romantic it had all seemed, this man giving his life for a woman he loved from afar, a woman he could never have. At seventeen, though, she was stuck on the scene after Charles Darnay and Sydney Carton have shared dinner, when Carton looks in a mirror and thinks about how different his life could have been if he hadn't been so selfish.
*****
Julie never went to the Alamo Freeze alone. She always took Lois, or Tyra, or Gracie (trying to keep hold of a squirming baby didn't allow for much small talk). She just couldn't face him by herself. She still didn't know what had happened between Matt and her father in the fall, but her father had become more protective of him and it made Julie scared to talk to Matt. She worried that whatever had happened was somehow her fault. She wanted to ask her dad, but there were some things that Eric Taylor just did not talk about and the emotional state of his starting quarterback was one of those things. So Julie had kept her distance from Matt at school and used the buddy system at the Freeze.
*****
Tyra dragged her out one night in early July, proclaiming that Julie had been in a funk and that this would be the best thing for her. Also, even though she was still head over heels for Landry, Tyra hated Crucifictorious and figured that someone else should share in her misery. They actually had a pretty good time once Tyra took their sodas into a corner and emptied her flask into them. Julie wasn’t really sure how to dance to Christian speed metal, but the rum seemed to help her figure it out.
“Julie!” Tyra stage whispered and tossed her head towards the far corner where Matt had appeared. Julie watched him out of the corner of her eye. He was there with Riggins and the two boys stood on the edge of the dance floor, nodding their heads to the music, Tim taking pulls from a longneck. Before she knew it the band was taking their break and Tyra dragged her over to talk to Landry. Matt and Tim weren't far behind. There were quick hellos and then Landry started talking a mile a minute with Tyra and Tim (Julie couldn't even begin to figure out how it was that those three were bffs these days) chiming in. She and Matt stood back. He asked about her parents and Gracie; Julie asked about Grandma. When they ran out of family chit chat, Julie excused herself to the bathroom where she wasted time playing with her hair and reapplying her lipstick. By the time she was done the band had started back up and when she was finished her third "soda," Matt and Tim had gone.
She made it to the end of the book when she got home, the It is a far, far better thing I do part. She had always liked the ending best, even though the opening lines were the most quoted. She closed the dog-eared pages and sighed. Reading wasn’t an escape for her this time, it just made her sad and frustrated. She didn’t identify with Lucie Manette anymore, blond hair and devoted father or not. It was Sydney Carton that wouldn’t leave her alone; she couldn’t shake the feeling that she too was missing something and that it was her own doing.
*****
A week later, Julie was on her way home from dance class. She had stayed after the other girls had left to work on a particularly difficult combination with her instructor. She was going past the Alamo Freeze and saw Matt’s car out front. Without even really thinking, she pulled into the parking lot.
It was past close and the door was locked. Matt jumped a little when he heard the knock on the glass. He paused for a minute before he walked around the counter and turned the lock, opening the door. "H-hey Julie."
"I'm really sorry to bother you when you're closing..." she started, trailing off at the end. This was such a stupid idea. What was she even doing here?
"I'm almost done, it's no big deal." There was an uncomfortable silence. Matt was leaning up against the open door, but he didn’t make a move to invite her inside. His white uniform showed the stains of a busy night. "Uh, I don't want to sound rude, but did you need something?"
She wrapped her arms around herself instinctively, like it would protect her from whatever happened next. "No. I mean, yes - but I don't really know what it is. It's just that...I just got finished A Tale of Two Cities, for our British lit reading list?"
Matt nodded, pretending like he understood where she was going with this.
"And I've been thinking about Sydney Carton and about how Charles Darnay was like his good side, and how he saw all of the things he could have been in Darnay. And how he struggled with regretting the way his life turned out. And I've been thinking about me and how I feel about the things that I've done and I just...I really wanted to apologize - really apologize - for last summer. You didn't deserve for things to happen the way that they did and I am so unbelievably sorry for what a bitch I was."
She stopped to take a breath. "I just wanted to say that. Not because I want you to forgive me or anything, just because I mean it."
Matt had the tiniest of grins on his face. "You came all the way over here to tell me that?" He sounded like it was the silliest thing he had ever heard.
"Well, it was on my way home from dance class." Julie was suddenly hyper-aware of how she looked - messy hair, sweat marks on her clothes, red face. God, she probably smelled too, class had been tough and the Texan summer air didn't help matters.
"Julie, that was, like, a year ago. I'm over it." Her stomach did a little flip flop at that. Over it? Or over her? Why did it even matter?
"Oh. I mean, I didn’t think you weren’t." She gave up. "I'm just gonna go now. Mom'll wonder where I am." As Julie walked back to her car, she was grateful for the red face. It camouflaged her blush.
"Hey Julie!" She turned around, trying not to look too hopeful. "Thanks. Thanks for saying that." Matt gave her a smile and she returned it as she got in the car.
*****
Julie's cell buzzed to alert her to a new text message as she turned onto her street. She parked in the driveway and dug her phone out of her bag. She was surprised to see text message from Matt on the screen. She hit the button to open the message on her way up to the house. grandma's been asking about u since i said i saw u last week. want to come over 4 dinner on thurs? Julie grinned wide as she opened the door.
"Hey Jules!" Tami called out as her older daughter walked inside and the younger one crawled to meet her sister. "How was class?"
"Great," Julie replied as she scooped up Gracie. "Everything was really, really great."
Author: sisredlo
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Everything Friday Night Lights is way above my pay grade.
A/N: Happy birthday, Joe!!! I hope you are out enjoying yourself - and that you stocked up on Propel for the aftermath in the morning!
Julie Taylor's view of Dillon, Texas evolved with her summer reading lists. Senior year meant British lit, so Moby Dick analogies gave way to metaphors based on A Tale of Two Cities. The people in Dillon reminded her so much of the Parisians at the beginning of the novel. Friday nights were like the wine cask breaking in the street - everyone stopped what they were doing and came together to cheer for the team. There was a special companionship in it, an observable inclination on the part of every one to join some other one...When the wine was gone…these demonstrations ceased, as suddenly as they had broken out. Some of those idiots who called into Slammin’ Sammy’s show on Mondays after a loss certainly seemed as bloodthirsty as the French revolutionaries.
She had read the novel in middle school (she always read a few grade levels ahead) and she remembered being twelve and thinking how romantic it had all seemed, this man giving his life for a woman he loved from afar, a woman he could never have. At seventeen, though, she was stuck on the scene after Charles Darnay and Sydney Carton have shared dinner, when Carton looks in a mirror and thinks about how different his life could have been if he hadn't been so selfish.
*****
Julie never went to the Alamo Freeze alone. She always took Lois, or Tyra, or Gracie (trying to keep hold of a squirming baby didn't allow for much small talk). She just couldn't face him by herself. She still didn't know what had happened between Matt and her father in the fall, but her father had become more protective of him and it made Julie scared to talk to Matt. She worried that whatever had happened was somehow her fault. She wanted to ask her dad, but there were some things that Eric Taylor just did not talk about and the emotional state of his starting quarterback was one of those things. So Julie had kept her distance from Matt at school and used the buddy system at the Freeze.
*****
Tyra dragged her out one night in early July, proclaiming that Julie had been in a funk and that this would be the best thing for her. Also, even though she was still head over heels for Landry, Tyra hated Crucifictorious and figured that someone else should share in her misery. They actually had a pretty good time once Tyra took their sodas into a corner and emptied her flask into them. Julie wasn’t really sure how to dance to Christian speed metal, but the rum seemed to help her figure it out.
“Julie!” Tyra stage whispered and tossed her head towards the far corner where Matt had appeared. Julie watched him out of the corner of her eye. He was there with Riggins and the two boys stood on the edge of the dance floor, nodding their heads to the music, Tim taking pulls from a longneck. Before she knew it the band was taking their break and Tyra dragged her over to talk to Landry. Matt and Tim weren't far behind. There were quick hellos and then Landry started talking a mile a minute with Tyra and Tim (Julie couldn't even begin to figure out how it was that those three were bffs these days) chiming in. She and Matt stood back. He asked about her parents and Gracie; Julie asked about Grandma. When they ran out of family chit chat, Julie excused herself to the bathroom where she wasted time playing with her hair and reapplying her lipstick. By the time she was done the band had started back up and when she was finished her third "soda," Matt and Tim had gone.
She made it to the end of the book when she got home, the It is a far, far better thing I do part. She had always liked the ending best, even though the opening lines were the most quoted. She closed the dog-eared pages and sighed. Reading wasn’t an escape for her this time, it just made her sad and frustrated. She didn’t identify with Lucie Manette anymore, blond hair and devoted father or not. It was Sydney Carton that wouldn’t leave her alone; she couldn’t shake the feeling that she too was missing something and that it was her own doing.
*****
A week later, Julie was on her way home from dance class. She had stayed after the other girls had left to work on a particularly difficult combination with her instructor. She was going past the Alamo Freeze and saw Matt’s car out front. Without even really thinking, she pulled into the parking lot.
It was past close and the door was locked. Matt jumped a little when he heard the knock on the glass. He paused for a minute before he walked around the counter and turned the lock, opening the door. "H-hey Julie."
"I'm really sorry to bother you when you're closing..." she started, trailing off at the end. This was such a stupid idea. What was she even doing here?
"I'm almost done, it's no big deal." There was an uncomfortable silence. Matt was leaning up against the open door, but he didn’t make a move to invite her inside. His white uniform showed the stains of a busy night. "Uh, I don't want to sound rude, but did you need something?"
She wrapped her arms around herself instinctively, like it would protect her from whatever happened next. "No. I mean, yes - but I don't really know what it is. It's just that...I just got finished A Tale of Two Cities, for our British lit reading list?"
Matt nodded, pretending like he understood where she was going with this.
"And I've been thinking about Sydney Carton and about how Charles Darnay was like his good side, and how he saw all of the things he could have been in Darnay. And how he struggled with regretting the way his life turned out. And I've been thinking about me and how I feel about the things that I've done and I just...I really wanted to apologize - really apologize - for last summer. You didn't deserve for things to happen the way that they did and I am so unbelievably sorry for what a bitch I was."
She stopped to take a breath. "I just wanted to say that. Not because I want you to forgive me or anything, just because I mean it."
Matt had the tiniest of grins on his face. "You came all the way over here to tell me that?" He sounded like it was the silliest thing he had ever heard.
"Well, it was on my way home from dance class." Julie was suddenly hyper-aware of how she looked - messy hair, sweat marks on her clothes, red face. God, she probably smelled too, class had been tough and the Texan summer air didn't help matters.
"Julie, that was, like, a year ago. I'm over it." Her stomach did a little flip flop at that. Over it? Or over her? Why did it even matter?
"Oh. I mean, I didn’t think you weren’t." She gave up. "I'm just gonna go now. Mom'll wonder where I am." As Julie walked back to her car, she was grateful for the red face. It camouflaged her blush.
"Hey Julie!" She turned around, trying not to look too hopeful. "Thanks. Thanks for saying that." Matt gave her a smile and she returned it as she got in the car.
*****
Julie's cell buzzed to alert her to a new text message as she turned onto her street. She parked in the driveway and dug her phone out of her bag. She was surprised to see text message from Matt on the screen. She hit the button to open the message on her way up to the house. grandma's been asking about u since i said i saw u last week. want to come over 4 dinner on thurs? Julie grinned wide as she opened the door.
"Hey Jules!" Tami called out as her older daughter walked inside and the younger one crawled to meet her sister. "How was class?"
"Great," Julie replied as she scooped up Gracie. "Everything was really, really great."