This makes my eyes tear up!

Oct 26, 2006 00:18

The US government has a new website, ready.gov [ready.gov] . It's another attempt at scare mongering in the style of the old "duck and cover" advice after WWII.

The fun thing is that these pictures are so ambiguous they could mean anything! Here are a few interpretations.
If you spot terrorism, blow your anti-terrorism whistle. If you are Vin Diesel, yell really loud.
If you spot a terrorist arrow, pin it against the wall with your shoulder


If you are sprayed with an unknown substance, stand and think about it instead of seeing a doctor.
Use your flashlight to lift the walls right off of you!


The proper way to eliminate smallpox is to wash with soap, water and at least one(1) armless hand.
Michael Jackson is a terrorist. If you spot this smooth criminal with dead, dead eyes, run the fuck away.
Hurricanes, animal corpses and the biohazard symbol have a lot in common. Think about it.


Be on the lookout for terrorists with pinkeye and leprosy. Also, they tend to rub their hands together manically.


If a door is closed, karate chop it open.
If your building collapses, give yourself a blowjob while waiting to be rescued.
After exposure to radiation it is important to consider that you may have mutated to gigantic dimensions: watch your head.


If you've become a radiation mutant with a deformed hand, remember to close the window. No one wants to see that shit.
If you are trapped under falling debris, conserve oxygen by not farting.
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