It's OK if this work is not for you ...
Thursday night's Beltane ritual raised the kind of energy I had heard people speak of, but had never really experienced myself. No one remembers much of anything - so it's hard to know what happened, except as an energetic experience. It was a huge experience, for me - one I don't expect to get to repeat, in this lifetime. The women who were there Thursday agree that, three days later, we're still strongly feeling the after effects.
Rather than talk about the mechanics of it (which, actually, weren't very mechanical - it just went very organic, and very ecstatic, very fast, and then stayed there for an hour until we coned), it's the personal stuff I feel is most useful. I only remember impressions - those of us who stepped out to invoke fire were driving the energy for about 2 minutes, with a trance rap. Then the energy raising moved away from those of us in the middle, and to the OUTSIDE of the circle, and the circle began driving it. I was just trying to keep ahead of it, which I couldn't always do. It was amazing.
There were about 30 women. There were 8 women attending who had never been to our group. About 6 (one or two of them not new women, and about 4 who were new) immediately moved up against the wall and would have moved further away, I think, if they could have, though no one left. I remember looking at them and thinking: I was trained not to let this happen. I was trained that those women would be paying attendees to whom I owed a certain kind of safer experience.
But that is not the priestess I am any more. The work I want to do is: this is deep work. We urge you to take care of yourself. But it goes where it goes, and if this work is not for you, that's OK. We're going.
I remember pulling the energy back down and in, several times, so we didn't cone before the whole group was reassembled. I remember some women were painting (we were transforming plaster of paris female busts, to represent both oppression and empowerment) and some were dancing with the fire. I felt the drum held us all, and we are very (very) fortunate that a woman who joined our group is a strong, strong drummer, and could sustain that.
It was just so purely fire. Uncontrollable, transformative, wild, unexpected. I have been to rituals in which we said: let's get in touch with fire. And everyone pulls back. This one, it was just on them (on all of us) before there was time to think about it, and fire just took over. Oh, it was so glorious to be in that. I feel really blessed, to have experienced it.
elements that we think (having talked about it this morning) made it happen: we cast the circle by reading the stories of women who are oppressed, in this nation and around the world. In the invocations, three women told of personal oppression, in a way that was very vulnerable and powerful. When we stepped out to call fire as the center, we realized the women were ANGRY. We just lit the fire and started rapping about transformation and change - it gave them a place to put all that anger and energy. And wow, did they put it there.
I am so grateful to be involved in this work. Grateful to have a group of wild women who are willing to get wild. Grateful for magic. Our rituals are usually about personal work, more than magic. But this one - this was magic. I feel a great deal changed, for individuals, for the group, for the world. So mote it be.
Rather than talk about the mechanics of it (which, actually, weren't very mechanical - it just went very organic, and very ecstatic, very fast, and then stayed there for an hour until we coned), it's the personal stuff I feel is most useful. I only remember impressions - those of us who stepped out to invoke fire were driving the energy for about 2 minutes, with a trance rap. Then the energy raising moved away from those of us in the middle, and to the OUTSIDE of the circle, and the circle began driving it. I was just trying to keep ahead of it, which I couldn't always do. It was amazing.
There were about 30 women. There were 8 women attending who had never been to our group. About 6 (one or two of them not new women, and about 4 who were new) immediately moved up against the wall and would have moved further away, I think, if they could have, though no one left. I remember looking at them and thinking: I was trained not to let this happen. I was trained that those women would be paying attendees to whom I owed a certain kind of safer experience.
But that is not the priestess I am any more. The work I want to do is: this is deep work. We urge you to take care of yourself. But it goes where it goes, and if this work is not for you, that's OK. We're going.
I remember pulling the energy back down and in, several times, so we didn't cone before the whole group was reassembled. I remember some women were painting (we were transforming plaster of paris female busts, to represent both oppression and empowerment) and some were dancing with the fire. I felt the drum held us all, and we are very (very) fortunate that a woman who joined our group is a strong, strong drummer, and could sustain that.
It was just so purely fire. Uncontrollable, transformative, wild, unexpected. I have been to rituals in which we said: let's get in touch with fire. And everyone pulls back. This one, it was just on them (on all of us) before there was time to think about it, and fire just took over. Oh, it was so glorious to be in that. I feel really blessed, to have experienced it.
elements that we think (having talked about it this morning) made it happen: we cast the circle by reading the stories of women who are oppressed, in this nation and around the world. In the invocations, three women told of personal oppression, in a way that was very vulnerable and powerful. When we stepped out to call fire as the center, we realized the women were ANGRY. We just lit the fire and started rapping about transformation and change - it gave them a place to put all that anger and energy. And wow, did they put it there.
I am so grateful to be involved in this work. Grateful to have a group of wild women who are willing to get wild. Grateful for magic. Our rituals are usually about personal work, more than magic. But this one - this was magic. I feel a great deal changed, for individuals, for the group, for the world. So mote it be.