Self Esteem Week!
The last week has been amazing for my self-esteem. On Saturday, I went up to Greeley to go to my friend Nick's birthday party. I met Nick through work, he donates occasionally, and we get along really well, so I decided to go to his birthday party on the 4th (his bday is the 5th). I'd never hung out with Nick before, and I didn't know any of his friends, so I was pretty nervous about the whole thing. Showed up at the party, nobody was there except the guy who's house it was. I helped set up the beer pong table, then after noticing only Keystone Ice in the freezer, I decided to go on a beer run for something decent to drink. Came back with some Killian's and a bag of ice, and Nick was there when I got back. We hung out for a bit while people arrived, and I got to know some of Nick's friends. When he invited me to the party, Nick had told me a girl named Amanda was gonna be there, and she was recently single, like me. When Amanda got there, she sat down next to me on the couch, and we started talking. Spent most of the night talking, just about random stuff, and work, and video games, whatever. I was pretty much left to fend for myself, because Nick spent most of the time macking on his ex-girlfriend's 18 year old sister. I'm taking pictures of the party with my camera phone, and after having her picture taken, Amanda says, "Now that you've got my picture, you need my number to go with it." So I get her number, and we go to Tacos Rapidos after some drama happens when Nick is fooling around with the aforementioned 18 year old girl on Richie's couch. Food is good, talk some more, I drop her off and head home.
Sunday I sign up for OKcupid at Jenny's suggestion. I know Justin met his wife through OKcupid, so I've got high hopes for finding someone compatible. I fill out my profile, upload some pictures, answer some questions, and start looking for people to talk to. One of the features is the ability to not only save a person's profile to your favorites, but also to let said person know you've saved it. Kind of a shy way of saying, "I'm interested." So I favorite a girl's profile, and after I come back with a drink of water, she's already messaged me, asking if I was planning on messaging her. I tell her I'm new to this thing, and we chat for awhile on the built-in IM program. We move to AIM, bullshit for a bit before I head off to Ben's to hang out for the night. I make king ranch chicken for Ben and his roommates, and we have a nice family dinner like we did last week. Hang out with Ben, talk about roleplaying, and I mention OKcupid to him, saying I've already talked to someone. He seems interested, and we just hang out for the rest of the night.
Monday's relatively uneventful, got my ass massage, hung out with the roommates, messed around on OKcupid, bought dead or alive for the 360, and played with Nate and Preston. Overall a pretty chill day.
Tuesday is work, and it's one the best day I've had at work in ages. I spent the whole day laughing and joking and flirting with both co-workers and donors. I honestly had a great time at work on Tuesday, and it was contagious. Salinda is really fun to mess with at work. She unrealizingly says stuff that I can turn sexual, and always gets flustered when I do. It's fun. I get home from work, notice someone has favorited my profile on OKcupid. I check out hers, seems like a pretty groovy chick, so I send her a message saying we should hang out.
Wednesday was also a pretty good day at work. We spent most of the meeting getting bitched out by Rita, but I knew most of it didn't apply to me, so it was amusing watching people squirm. Spent Wednesday also laughing, joking, flirting. Went to go set up a girl who looked familiar to me, she seemed happy to see me, and mentioned that she never forgot the first time I poked her. Innuendo back and forth, the inherent danger of working at a place where I get paid to penetrate people. I mention I'm single for the first time in 7 years, she mentions she's recently divorced, maybe we can commiserate, I get a number. After work, I'm talking to Tracy while I check my email and she gives me a back rub. I tell her about OKcupid, and then I notice I had a response to my message, she's excited for me. Go home, singing in my car the whole way, and respond to the message once I'm at my computer. Aforementioned girl wants to hang out, she's in Lafayette. I respond that we should get coffee at Mojo's and then head to the festival plaza since Mojo's closes at 9.
Thursday I'm nervous all day. Not only am I going to meet a stranger in person, but I haven't had a real date in over 8 years. Seriously, the last time I had a "hey, I'm gonna take you somewhere and get to know you" date was in high school. I'm honestly terrified, but I know that I need to put myself in situations out of my depth in order to grow as a person. I tell my co-workers about it, everyone is excited for me. Day goes by well enough, I give Kayla a back rub during her break, with a promise that if she wants, I can give her a full-body massage (which she *needs*). Nick comes in to donate, and I end up talking to him about the party. I tell him that Amanda seemed really interested right off the bat, and ask if he put her up to it. He says "No, I would never do anything like - Yes." So he basically told me to go talk to her, but not tell her he put me up to it, and told her to talk to me but not tell me he put her up to it. But apparently she's genuinely interested, so his meddling isn't unwelcome. I get through the rest of the day without having an anxiety attack, and head home.
I change into a new shirt, grab my stuff, and head to Mojo's. I'm nervous as hell, order a smoothie to go, and then Karlin shows up. I grab my smoothie, and sit down to chat. I'm not nervous for long. We talk about anything and everything. Topics range from general misanthropy to zombies to blood and plasma to internet memes and lolcats to video games and dismemberment. We walk down to the festival plaza after getting kicked out of Mojo's when they close. She tells me about sims she's tortured to death, I tell her about sims that I've turned into a robotic parody of human existence. We talk for over two and a half hours with barely a lull in the conversation. Walk back to Mojo's, since she needs to get home, I give her a hug, (which she complimented me on) and we plan to hang out later. She's busy for the rest of the month, but I'm okay with that. So all in all, it was a good night.
Get home, chat with friends about stuff, end up spending awhile just yakking with Drew about what's new. Turns out he met Morgan on OKcupid, which is hilarious, considering how that ended, but I digress. I went to bed, and now here I am.
I'm feeling great about myself. This last week has done amazing things for my self esteem. I'm realizing that I have a lot more to offer than I once thought. Suddenly the world is my oyster. I'm not sure if this is because of the antidepressants or if it's because of my getting out and meeting people. It's probably a combination of the two.
I can honestly say that for the first time in a long time, I'm happy.
Sunday I sign up for OKcupid at Jenny's suggestion. I know Justin met his wife through OKcupid, so I've got high hopes for finding someone compatible. I fill out my profile, upload some pictures, answer some questions, and start looking for people to talk to. One of the features is the ability to not only save a person's profile to your favorites, but also to let said person know you've saved it. Kind of a shy way of saying, "I'm interested." So I favorite a girl's profile, and after I come back with a drink of water, she's already messaged me, asking if I was planning on messaging her. I tell her I'm new to this thing, and we chat for awhile on the built-in IM program. We move to AIM, bullshit for a bit before I head off to Ben's to hang out for the night. I make king ranch chicken for Ben and his roommates, and we have a nice family dinner like we did last week. Hang out with Ben, talk about roleplaying, and I mention OKcupid to him, saying I've already talked to someone. He seems interested, and we just hang out for the rest of the night.
Monday's relatively uneventful, got my ass massage, hung out with the roommates, messed around on OKcupid, bought dead or alive for the 360, and played with Nate and Preston. Overall a pretty chill day.
Tuesday is work, and it's one the best day I've had at work in ages. I spent the whole day laughing and joking and flirting with both co-workers and donors. I honestly had a great time at work on Tuesday, and it was contagious. Salinda is really fun to mess with at work. She unrealizingly says stuff that I can turn sexual, and always gets flustered when I do. It's fun. I get home from work, notice someone has favorited my profile on OKcupid. I check out hers, seems like a pretty groovy chick, so I send her a message saying we should hang out.
Wednesday was also a pretty good day at work. We spent most of the meeting getting bitched out by Rita, but I knew most of it didn't apply to me, so it was amusing watching people squirm. Spent Wednesday also laughing, joking, flirting. Went to go set up a girl who looked familiar to me, she seemed happy to see me, and mentioned that she never forgot the first time I poked her. Innuendo back and forth, the inherent danger of working at a place where I get paid to penetrate people. I mention I'm single for the first time in 7 years, she mentions she's recently divorced, maybe we can commiserate, I get a number. After work, I'm talking to Tracy while I check my email and she gives me a back rub. I tell her about OKcupid, and then I notice I had a response to my message, she's excited for me. Go home, singing in my car the whole way, and respond to the message once I'm at my computer. Aforementioned girl wants to hang out, she's in Lafayette. I respond that we should get coffee at Mojo's and then head to the festival plaza since Mojo's closes at 9.
Thursday I'm nervous all day. Not only am I going to meet a stranger in person, but I haven't had a real date in over 8 years. Seriously, the last time I had a "hey, I'm gonna take you somewhere and get to know you" date was in high school. I'm honestly terrified, but I know that I need to put myself in situations out of my depth in order to grow as a person. I tell my co-workers about it, everyone is excited for me. Day goes by well enough, I give Kayla a back rub during her break, with a promise that if she wants, I can give her a full-body massage (which she *needs*). Nick comes in to donate, and I end up talking to him about the party. I tell him that Amanda seemed really interested right off the bat, and ask if he put her up to it. He says "No, I would never do anything like - Yes." So he basically told me to go talk to her, but not tell her he put me up to it, and told her to talk to me but not tell me he put her up to it. But apparently she's genuinely interested, so his meddling isn't unwelcome. I get through the rest of the day without having an anxiety attack, and head home.
I change into a new shirt, grab my stuff, and head to Mojo's. I'm nervous as hell, order a smoothie to go, and then Karlin shows up. I grab my smoothie, and sit down to chat. I'm not nervous for long. We talk about anything and everything. Topics range from general misanthropy to zombies to blood and plasma to internet memes and lolcats to video games and dismemberment. We walk down to the festival plaza after getting kicked out of Mojo's when they close. She tells me about sims she's tortured to death, I tell her about sims that I've turned into a robotic parody of human existence. We talk for over two and a half hours with barely a lull in the conversation. Walk back to Mojo's, since she needs to get home, I give her a hug, (which she complimented me on) and we plan to hang out later. She's busy for the rest of the month, but I'm okay with that. So all in all, it was a good night.
Get home, chat with friends about stuff, end up spending awhile just yakking with Drew about what's new. Turns out he met Morgan on OKcupid, which is hilarious, considering how that ended, but I digress. I went to bed, and now here I am.
I'm feeling great about myself. This last week has done amazing things for my self esteem. I'm realizing that I have a lot more to offer than I once thought. Suddenly the world is my oyster. I'm not sure if this is because of the antidepressants or if it's because of my getting out and meeting people. It's probably a combination of the two.
I can honestly say that for the first time in a long time, I'm happy.