aamuses Step 3: Write about a meeting
Theresa steps through the door, hands curled together, resting on the small of her back. Last time she was wringing her hands in front of her. She considers this an improvement.
She recognizes a few people in the room, and they nod at her, smile, extend greetings. Janine is standing by the coffee machine, and she beckons Theresa over. She hands her a cookie, peanut butter by the looks of it.
“Nice to see you here again,” Janine says, smiling in that bright way she always does. Theresa smiles back, and it’s only slightly forced. She’s a little anxious, but she always has been. It’s not as bad as it used to be.
Janine introduces her to a few other people, a single mother named Sarah, a young man named Matt, a middle-aged couple, a tall man with a long ponytail down his back. Theresa smiles, shakes their hands, introduces herself by first name only. Sarah compliments her sweater.
The people here seem normal. Terry supposes that she herself must seem normal to others. She’s not a mutant here, or a 20 year-old running a business. She’s just Terry. Terry the Alcoholic. It’s not her favorite thing to be. But it’s safer to be Terry the Alcoholic here than it is anywhere else. Because everyone is the same that way. Matt the Alcoholic offers her a seat next to him, and she sits. The meeting begins.
She’s attentive. She claps at the anniversaries of sobriety, listens to the stories of people overcoming everything. She never speaks. Janine’s suggested it, getting up in front of everyone and telling her story. But she can’t. Janine says it would be an inspiration, but Theresa disagrees. She sees failure, where Janine sees persistence. People don’t always get it right the first time, Janine insists, in fact, that’s hardly the norm. Theresa represents a young person who is wise enough to realize the harm she’s doing to herself, a wisdom that most people twice her age have not yet achieved. Her story should be shared.
But Theresa doesn’t want to be an inspiration. She just wants to be normal. Safe, happy, and alcohol-free. She doesn’t want to be Terry the Alcoholic. She just wants to be Terry.
A man is celebrating his five year anniversary of sobriety, and is invited to speak, which he does. His story sounds familiar. He too started drinking when he was young. He too lost his license, though he was in his twenties at the time, not nineteen. He drank to make pain go away, or to stop pain from reaching him, or for no reason at all. It took his wife leaving him to seek out help. And he did. He relapsed, just as she had. But he was persistent. He kept trying. And here he was, five years later. A success story. An inspiration. Terry claps for him, and wipes her eyes discreetly. He’s something to strive for.
The meeting ends with the Serenity Prayer. It’s the first time Theresa speaks.
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
It’s her favorite prayer. She repeats it every day. And each time, she thinks she understands just a bit more.
She recognizes a few people in the room, and they nod at her, smile, extend greetings. Janine is standing by the coffee machine, and she beckons Theresa over. She hands her a cookie, peanut butter by the looks of it.
“Nice to see you here again,” Janine says, smiling in that bright way she always does. Theresa smiles back, and it’s only slightly forced. She’s a little anxious, but she always has been. It’s not as bad as it used to be.
Janine introduces her to a few other people, a single mother named Sarah, a young man named Matt, a middle-aged couple, a tall man with a long ponytail down his back. Theresa smiles, shakes their hands, introduces herself by first name only. Sarah compliments her sweater.
The people here seem normal. Terry supposes that she herself must seem normal to others. She’s not a mutant here, or a 20 year-old running a business. She’s just Terry. Terry the Alcoholic. It’s not her favorite thing to be. But it’s safer to be Terry the Alcoholic here than it is anywhere else. Because everyone is the same that way. Matt the Alcoholic offers her a seat next to him, and she sits. The meeting begins.
She’s attentive. She claps at the anniversaries of sobriety, listens to the stories of people overcoming everything. She never speaks. Janine’s suggested it, getting up in front of everyone and telling her story. But she can’t. Janine says it would be an inspiration, but Theresa disagrees. She sees failure, where Janine sees persistence. People don’t always get it right the first time, Janine insists, in fact, that’s hardly the norm. Theresa represents a young person who is wise enough to realize the harm she’s doing to herself, a wisdom that most people twice her age have not yet achieved. Her story should be shared.
But Theresa doesn’t want to be an inspiration. She just wants to be normal. Safe, happy, and alcohol-free. She doesn’t want to be Terry the Alcoholic. She just wants to be Terry.
A man is celebrating his five year anniversary of sobriety, and is invited to speak, which he does. His story sounds familiar. He too started drinking when he was young. He too lost his license, though he was in his twenties at the time, not nineteen. He drank to make pain go away, or to stop pain from reaching him, or for no reason at all. It took his wife leaving him to seek out help. And he did. He relapsed, just as she had. But he was persistent. He kept trying. And here he was, five years later. A success story. An inspiration. Terry claps for him, and wipes her eyes discreetly. He’s something to strive for.
The meeting ends with the Serenity Prayer. It’s the first time Theresa speaks.
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
It’s her favorite prayer. She repeats it every day. And each time, she thinks she understands just a bit more.